Been bought a very expensive present I don't want and can't return

[Gresley]

After not speaking to me for 25 years, my sister has recently become very friendly with me again for no apparent reason, and for Christmas ordered me a new electric bike online. The parcel was gigantic so impossible to return. I didn't desperately want an electric bike and had said I would buy a secondhand one to see how I got on, but she sprang this surprise on me. Now that I've tried it I find I really can't get on with it (my arse was in agony) and don't want it. Should I (a) sell it? I've been offered just over a third of the original price by a local dealer;(b) give it to someone else? In both of those cases, should I (c) pretend I've still got it or be honest about getting rid of it, and even offer to pay back the money she paid for it? Or (d) keep it and leave it to rot in the shed and send her AI photos of all the lovely places I've been on it (not that I'd know how to use AI)? I think that If she knew I'd got rid of it she wouldn't speak to me for another 25 years.

My brother who cycles a lot got a saddle made for him. He said it makes the world of difference. Maybe you could go fir a fitting? I'm sure the bike itself is absolutely fine...

Buy a new saddle . Most of the standard ones that come with bikes aren't great(case in point my partners 5k bike that he then spends a fortune customising it, spent £200 on a new saddle, didn't like that one either now prefers a cheap decathlon saddle on it 💀)
. There's loads to choose from with different types of padding, gel, etc.

Having read your update. This isn't about the bike at all. It's about what the bike represents and the memories it's unfolding for you. Get rid.

get a gel saddle cover or completely change the saddle, potentially both, I have a gel saddle and a gel cover on top yet it still takes a few rides to get used to riding again pain wise

I want to stay friends with her, and not cause another rift, but quite honestly, it would mean nothing to me if I never heard from her again. I can't trust her not to ghost me again if I said anything wrong. You have to be able to be you, or it isn't sustainable any way.

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Yep, this

I would sell it. Owning something that reminds you of the past in a negative way isnt usually helpful. And as you arent keen on it anyway....... even more reason to sell it.

And if you do decide in the future you want a bike you can easily find one you do actually like (and get a better, ladies seat for it)

Get a gel saddle & then build up your resilience slowly. I've got a skinny bony old arse & get a bit saddle sore if I haven't ridden for a while.
The gel saddle was a game changer.

Agree with others that January is not the best time to declare that you hate it. Put it away & try again over the summer as you'll prob enjoy it.

How did she know you were even interested in an electric bike if she doesn't speak to you?

You should try riding it a few more times and if you still don’t like it see if you can trade it in for another.

I'd give it more time to get used to it. I think it was a thoughtful gift and obviously an olive branch, so it would be churlish to get rid of it.

I know a lot of people have said get a new saddle - yes, that's a great start. But also, padded cycle shorts (you can wear longer trousers on top) really do help, too.

Plus, your bum will get used to it the more you ride.

It sounds like your sister was incredibly generous. You DID tell her that you wanted a bike. She thought she was doing a good thing.

This isn't about the bike at all, your reasons don't make sense. This is about your anger at your sister, and a feeling that she's trying to buy you off. You need to address those feelings directly and decide what boundaries you want in the relationship.

Op just sell it and buy something else but try other ways before selling to the dealer as someone who can’t afford the full price who really wants one would be willing to pay more than a dealer.

You can buy a padded cover for the saddle.

Any bottom takes a while to get used to a saddle 😊! It doesn't take as long as you think. Don't give up cycling before your time.

Could you not just wait to the warmer months and try it a bit then? What were your plans for the second-hand bike? Are there any routes near you without traffic (I hate cycling near traffic too). Do you have a bike rack for the car? Are you near a train station? Honestly, take it for a few jaunts first before you make a decision. All you need is a rucksack, picnic, water, maybe a good book for your destination. You could have such lovely adventures, it could open your world a bit if you research options & chat to others. So much of our own country (UK and Ireland) we let go unexplored and it is gorgeous.

Take this olive branch as it was intended, viewed in the most positive light. At least get the summer out of it would be my advice and if you really think you will never use it after that, then discretely sell it on so someone else can love it.

Arsses always hurt loads at first but give it a while and it won’t

The temporary sore bum was what kept me off my 3 bikes last summer, and now I need to lose weight before I can get back on any of the em. Everyone’s arse hurts for the first few rides. But it will stop with regular use. Padded shorts and a good seat help too.

You can't be that experienced a cyclist if you've said you can't get on with the bike, or presumably any bike, on the basis of a single component that can easily and cheaply be upgraded.

e) sell it and pretend it was stolen.

I ride a lot. Ladies specific saddle and padded shorts/longs make all the difference. Also, if I have had a long-ish break from riding, it still kills my undercarriage. Little and often is the key, that and ensuring that the bike is set up properly for you. That bit is very important. Saddle height is vital for comfort.

I ride in regular clothes as often as cycling clothes.

If you do sell, have a look at the ladies e-bike groups on FB. They will advise you of a better price that the dealer looking for a cheapie to make a big profit on.

Christmas was just over 3 weeks ago - how many times have you ridden it? You're not even giving it a chance! For whatever reason, you've decided you can't possibly have this gift. I'd change the seat, obviously, to a more comfortable one, and I'd give it 'til summer at least!

Not a bad idea, but only if she ever asks after it OP, you can always say the money you got for the sale was insurance pay out after excess. Also sell it privately, don't accept a third for a bike you've barely ridden. Surely a private sale will get you closer to 2/3s?

I agree that this is about your relationship with your sister and not the bike.
Donate the bike to charity, they can raffle it off and raise money.
Or persevere with a different saddle and join a cycling club, and enjoy the bike.