Aibu to feel humiliated by this

[Ionbroo]

So my DH had a peloton ride today. When he finished he went upstairs (very sweaty) and sat on the ensuite toilet seat to "cool down a bit", had a shower then came downstairs and sat and had his lunch. While he was eating I took some clean clothes upstairs to put away. Part way through I needed the loo so went to use the toilet. I sat down and the seat was wet. I very quickly realised I was sitting in DH's sweat! 🤮

I feel pretty disgusted by this and we ended up having a big row over it. I feel justified in being upset but not sure if I'm making a bigger thing out of it than is necessary. Not sure what I'm asking, I think I just needed to vent. I'd appreciate some perspective.

…of all the things to have “a big row about”

I said you are unreasonable to feel humiliated by it.

You would not be unreasonable to be grossed out, disgusted, annoyed etc. It shows a total lack of respect to you that he didn't clean up after himself.

Erm……..

It's a bit skanky of him not to clean up after himself, and even skankier if he was unaware that he'd left his sweat on the seat. (From a bloke who rides indoor bike too, and doesn't leave sweat everywhere)

I thought you meant he sat on the closed lid!

Sitting in his sweat is indeed rank but I don’t know why you’re saying ‘humiliated’. That would imply he sweat-wet the seat on purpose knowing that you’d sit in it.

Have you got something nice planned to do this week-end?

That's pretty grim, my fiance would sit on the bed after a workout or worse, lay down on it... after I moaned about it he stopped, no need for an argument really.

It's gross, but why would you feel humiliated?

And why the big argument? I've told my husband to make sure he cleans up the bathroom when he's done because it was unpleasant to use. He apologised and that was it.

You are very easily disgusted!

When you ditch this chap, make sure you find one who does not sweat.

Couldn’t you just have said ‘ugh mate, if you’re going to sweat all over the loo seat, at least clean it afterwards so I don’t have to sit in it? Ta’ I can’t see it would be worth raising my blood pressure to start an argument over. Tell him it’s grim and move on.

Complete overreaction. Humiliated? Really?

Humiliated? Weird

Bit pissed off? Not weird.

Big row? Bonkers.

Bit gross of him not to wipe it after and I would mention it. Not sure why humiliated though or having an argument!

This is a bit gross but I don’t understand why you feel humiliated by it?

Maybe saying humiliated was a bit ott but in that moment when I realised why it was wet it felt pretty humiliating!

You're humiliated? Why?

a man who doesn’t sweat you say? That’s not the win you might think…

Good grief.

You're getting worked up over nothing.

If this is how you manage your marriage it's a wonder you're both still in it.

How do you cope with sex? you know, some people even get sweaty together and exchange bodily fluids as well.

It's gross yes, humiliating? No. Bit strange that's how you felt tbh. Definitely not worth a big row though. I'm assuming he does other shitty things and this is the final straw?

Humiliated?? I'd have told him to wipe his sweat off next time but can't imagine it descending into a row

You’re definitely overreacting!

He should have wiped his sweat off out of courtesy but it’s really no big deal, just ask him to make sure he does it next time. As bodily fluids go it’s not the worst one, and I assume you’re regularly sharing others with him.

At least we all know it wasn't Andrew Windsor Mountbatten

I'd tell my DH it was gross, he'd laugh and apologise, that would be the end of it. Not really worth a huge roe.

He must have been literally dripping sweat? It’s a bit odd not to strip off his lycra downstairs by the washing machine or the front door.

Humiliated, no. Fucked off, yep.

You - Urgh grim, I just sat in a puddle of your sweat.
Him - Christ, I'm an animal. I meant to clean up. Sorry.
You - Please don't do that again, it brought my bile up.
Him - Of course. D'you wanna cuppa?

Marriage continues in cheery fashion.