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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would i be unreasonable to report this person faking a life using old colleagues photos?

122 replies

Shamper · 17/01/2026 11:59

I've name changed because every single detail in this is identifying and I tried to change details but then it didnt make sense

I used to work as an usher in London theatres, I left a few years ago but have lots of links still in that world. I then joined in an unrelated local group where I met Sally who is currently an Usher in london. We became facebook friends (and i cant see she has any theatre friends on there), and she wouldn't know I know a lot about theatre .

Sally's facebook is full of her pretending to be very good friends with low level actors which is absolutely not true.

For example today she's posted a thing about a present they've given her, her talking about days out with them etc, their nicknames for her. She's taking photos off their socials eg of the actor and friends on a night out, or of a group of drinks they've posted and saying "such a great night" or "the blue drink was mine" or a video and saying "we all nearly died of laughing when this happened". Some of it is just random eg she will share their videos of a spider they saw and say its a spider she saw but its a daily occurrence.

She seems particularly fixed on one person, luke. She has photos of her with luke at stage door, and has worked on some shows with him but her feed is full of odd things about their days out together, eg he will post a picture at a park, she will take a photo in her garden and then share them together as "best day out with my lukey". This includes pictures of one of his baby nephews and pretending she's been babysitting (again using photos from their social media)

These aren't high level actors or leads its mostly ensemble members so most people commenting on her posts don't seem to have recognised them, and are commenting normal stuff like this is really happening but mostly it seems just ignoring it. I cant see anyone that's obviously linked to productions that would be seeing it so I feel uneasy.

If I was an actor working most days in the same building as someone that had this whole pretend life with me, I would feel uncomfortable and probably not be taking selfies etc at stage door. I would want to know.

I would be less worried if she was a randomer doing it with someone really obviously famous like pretending to lunch with Tom Holland, but its inexperienced actors who might not have the same sense of stranger danger, dont have any special protection or training and that she actually works in the same building ocassionally.

I obviously suspect Sally has some sort of neurodiversity or possibly low level learning needs, she lives alone, holds down a job etc but does seem a bit vulnerable.

Would you go to the theatre company employers (ushers work for a group usually) or directly alert the actor (s)? I'm linked enough i can pm him on social media. Her family are on her social media but maybe they are just playing along?

I feel really mean because she's obviously really enjoying her job but equally wtf?

OP posts:
parietal · 17/01/2026 12:02

Are you 100% sure she doesn’t have a real friendship with Luke? How can you know?

Parsleyforme · 17/01/2026 12:05

I think this is obsessive behaviour and crossing a line from unprofessional to creepy. I’m surprised she doesn’t have any colleagues or anyone else in the industry on her Facebook. If you still have industry links then I think I would mention it to someone. It sounds harmless and quite sad right now but if she is truly delusional then things could escalate

SeasickSusan · 17/01/2026 12:05

If you know the actors well and she definitely does not, I would ask them if they know about her posts.

Parsleyforme · 17/01/2026 12:06

But also, as above, how would you know she definitely wasn’t there on the nights out etc.?

Unhappyitis · 17/01/2026 12:07

Please don't blame this on being neurodiverse. That is absolutely ridiculous.

We don't need further stupid generalisations.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:13

parietal · 17/01/2026 12:02

Are you 100% sure she doesn’t have a real friendship with Luke? How can you know?

100% sure.
I follow him on social media. The videos/photos she uses are other people's that he is tagged in or that hes shared. Eg he will post a funny text exchange with a named friend, she will share it as their text exchange.

She's never tagging him in anything when shes talking about him, he's never interacting on the posts or tagging her despite tagging everyone else in the group. The photos that exist of them together are clearly met a fan at stage door type ones rather than them doing all the activities she's sharing photos of. The photos videos never have her in them

Whilst its mostly centered around him theres 4 or 5 actors. It would be a weird mix of people for an usher to become friends with who are group of friends in real life.

OP posts:
Willowskyblue · 17/01/2026 12:13

This sounds rather sad behaviour, if it’s true. If Luke is publishing stuff publicly then he loses control of it. In this instance you believe it’s being used in an unusual way but who knows what other people do with public social media posts, including his. I’d leave it. She sounds lonely. Do you meet up with her and socialise?
And I’m another saying don’t pin this on neurodiversity please. It’s a lazy assumption to make.

HRTQueen · 17/01/2026 12:16

Having worked in theatres as an user myself it is quite a weird little world (was only over a summer that was enough for me)

many out of work actors still believing one day it will happen (and maybe it will) and many just out right bonkers who talk incessantly about their actor friends or their one line on The Bill in 1990

she will be one of many this appears harmless she lives in a dream world

Ponoka7 · 17/01/2026 12:18

She's a bit of a fantasist, they don't always turn dangerous. I'd not report it. I'd ask her how she is and see if she needs helps accessing/finding more groups for friendships.

TittyGajillions · 17/01/2026 12:18

I think it's weird that you're paying so much attention to her and Lukey's social media!

MyThreeWords · 17/01/2026 12:20

I'd say leave it alone, unless it seems like she might be some sort of threat to anyone. Telling lies isn't really reportable behaviour in itself.

If you were still an employee of the entity that employs her as an usher, then telling your employer might be appropriate, since she is their employee and her conduct has the potential to bring her company into disrepute. But I think you aren't.

As for telling 'Luke', if you know him then that might be appropriate, but otherwise (unless he is in some sense at risk from her), it might be seen by him as itself something creepily over-engaged.

SardinesOnButteredToast · 17/01/2026 12:20

That's a really sad and slightly disturbing story. I think I'd make him aware, if you're really really sure they're not actually friends, just from a potential risk point of view.

Terrine · 17/01/2026 12:21

This might be an unpopular opinion OP but in the circs - I wouldn’t report - I’d just leave it - I think she’ll ditch this behaviour herself in good time

Terrine · 17/01/2026 12:23

MyThreeWords · 17/01/2026 12:20

I'd say leave it alone, unless it seems like she might be some sort of threat to anyone. Telling lies isn't really reportable behaviour in itself.

If you were still an employee of the entity that employs her as an usher, then telling your employer might be appropriate, since she is their employee and her conduct has the potential to bring her company into disrepute. But I think you aren't.

As for telling 'Luke', if you know him then that might be appropriate, but otherwise (unless he is in some sense at risk from her), it might be seen by him as itself something creepily over-engaged.

Yeah I agree with this but definitely wouldn’t tell Luke

Unicornmagic568 · 17/01/2026 12:25

Wouldn't even pay attention to it anymore honestly

Whatatodo79 · 17/01/2026 12:28

I'd either l leave it or contact her and see what flushes out. 'Hey i see you are working as an usher, i used to do that what a fun job i used to do that etc'. People are weird and we don't need to police other people's sad lives

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:28

Willowskyblue · 17/01/2026 12:13

This sounds rather sad behaviour, if it’s true. If Luke is publishing stuff publicly then he loses control of it. In this instance you believe it’s being used in an unusual way but who knows what other people do with public social media posts, including his. I’d leave it. She sounds lonely. Do you meet up with her and socialise?
And I’m another saying don’t pin this on neurodiversity please. It’s a lazy assumption to make.

We are in a craft group together, and she seems to get on OK with most people there but doesnt seem to have firm friends.

She seems more lonely than anything else

OP posts:
Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:31

MyThreeWords · 17/01/2026 12:20

I'd say leave it alone, unless it seems like she might be some sort of threat to anyone. Telling lies isn't really reportable behaviour in itself.

If you were still an employee of the entity that employs her as an usher, then telling your employer might be appropriate, since she is their employee and her conduct has the potential to bring her company into disrepute. But I think you aren't.

As for telling 'Luke', if you know him then that might be appropriate, but otherwise (unless he is in some sense at risk from her), it might be seen by him as itself something creepily over-engaged.

Yeah I'm no longer an usher, I dont know him personally to chat to / he wouldn't know my nsme

I dont want to blow up her job that she seems to love but was alarmed by it all.

OP posts:
TheLadyWithoutTheLamp · 17/01/2026 12:31

If you think she's a stalker, report. If not butt out

CheeseWisely · 17/01/2026 12:32

What a bizarre situation. I would be tempted to either mention it to someone if you have the right contacts, or otherwise call Sally out on it. Next time she posts something you know for sure and can prove isn’t hers, send her a message and query it.

TheWickerWoman · 17/01/2026 12:35

I have a friend on FB who does things like this
posts pictures of meals he’s taken from restaurant website pretending he’s about to eat it. Pictures of women he’s lifted from websites and pretends he’s out with them. Picture of a hand holding a gun saying he’s got people after him so has armed himself (I reverse search these photos so know it’s not him. A picture of a boxer who was recently in the news pretending he’s knew him before he was professional.

What I have written here is the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more and it’s bizarre.. no one on his FB list interacts with these posts. I believe he’s got low self esteem and that’s why he does it but it’s relentless. Sometimes he will delete them the next day but sometimes he keeps them. I think he’s a drinker too.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:36

TittyGajillions · 17/01/2026 12:18

I think it's weird that you're paying so much attention to her and Lukey's social media!

Its just one of those things that you recognise if you are in that world. Its like being a fan of a soap or smaller show like waterloo rd or something then noticing a new acquaintance appears to be posting photos of her with members of the supporting cast.
Someone that you recognise but the average person on the street wouldn't

You'd notice if they repeatedly said they were out on nights out etc with a group of emmerdale people who were also sharing the same photos.

Once I clocked it I wanted to be sure, because sometimes its an obvious thing of he shares something, then she does and it comes up on the same day of insta stories but other times theres big gaps.

I didnt want to just assume that because she's a bit odd that they wouldn't be friends

OP posts:
ElizabethsTailor · 17/01/2026 12:38

My first instinct would be to tell “Luke” if you still know him well enough to, but I think from your update that’s not the case. So my second line of attack would be to speak to her one to one about it.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:38

HRTQueen · 17/01/2026 12:16

Having worked in theatres as an user myself it is quite a weird little world (was only over a summer that was enough for me)

many out of work actors still believing one day it will happen (and maybe it will) and many just out right bonkers who talk incessantly about their actor friends or their one line on The Bill in 1990

she will be one of many this appears harmless she lives in a dream world

This is very true. I wanted to not give the usher circumstance but its such an odd job where you co exist with actors but have little to do with them, but also where the staff are all normally heavily into the industry and full of "that person that was in the bill winked at me once" type stories

OP posts:
velvetgeranium · 17/01/2026 12:40

I think you could PM Luke, as you said, and gently warn him/alert him to her online behaviour. It is semi-stalkery.