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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would i be unreasonable to report this person faking a life using old colleagues photos?

122 replies

Shamper · 17/01/2026 11:59

I've name changed because every single detail in this is identifying and I tried to change details but then it didnt make sense

I used to work as an usher in London theatres, I left a few years ago but have lots of links still in that world. I then joined in an unrelated local group where I met Sally who is currently an Usher in london. We became facebook friends (and i cant see she has any theatre friends on there), and she wouldn't know I know a lot about theatre .

Sally's facebook is full of her pretending to be very good friends with low level actors which is absolutely not true.

For example today she's posted a thing about a present they've given her, her talking about days out with them etc, their nicknames for her. She's taking photos off their socials eg of the actor and friends on a night out, or of a group of drinks they've posted and saying "such a great night" or "the blue drink was mine" or a video and saying "we all nearly died of laughing when this happened". Some of it is just random eg she will share their videos of a spider they saw and say its a spider she saw but its a daily occurrence.

She seems particularly fixed on one person, luke. She has photos of her with luke at stage door, and has worked on some shows with him but her feed is full of odd things about their days out together, eg he will post a picture at a park, she will take a photo in her garden and then share them together as "best day out with my lukey". This includes pictures of one of his baby nephews and pretending she's been babysitting (again using photos from their social media)

These aren't high level actors or leads its mostly ensemble members so most people commenting on her posts don't seem to have recognised them, and are commenting normal stuff like this is really happening but mostly it seems just ignoring it. I cant see anyone that's obviously linked to productions that would be seeing it so I feel uneasy.

If I was an actor working most days in the same building as someone that had this whole pretend life with me, I would feel uncomfortable and probably not be taking selfies etc at stage door. I would want to know.

I would be less worried if she was a randomer doing it with someone really obviously famous like pretending to lunch with Tom Holland, but its inexperienced actors who might not have the same sense of stranger danger, dont have any special protection or training and that she actually works in the same building ocassionally.

I obviously suspect Sally has some sort of neurodiversity or possibly low level learning needs, she lives alone, holds down a job etc but does seem a bit vulnerable.

Would you go to the theatre company employers (ushers work for a group usually) or directly alert the actor (s)? I'm linked enough i can pm him on social media. Her family are on her social media but maybe they are just playing along?

I feel really mean because she's obviously really enjoying her job but equally wtf?

OP posts:
Naws · 17/01/2026 14:22

Good lord OP

I think it's you who has the obsession here!

Find a hobby and spend less time checking other people's social media.

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 14:25

If she is actually using photos of Luke then I would say something to him. That’s just not right. If it’s more an insinuation then I’d leave it.

lowboneslife · 17/01/2026 14:33

If there is nothing to suggest she is acting inappropriately at work/ with the actors, I would leave it. She’s created a fantasy life on Facebook. It’s not that different to a fantasy life many might create in their heads. A bit embarrassing she’s done it online where others can see, but if she has LD she might not have the same awareness of what is and is not appropriate to share.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:45

Naws · 17/01/2026 14:22

Good lord OP

I think it's you who has the obsession here!

Find a hobby and spend less time checking other people's social media.

You genuinely wouldn't raise an eyebrow if you made a new friend who was posting lots of stuff about her being out with someone who's vaguely on your radar?

There's lots of niche famous people that people would recognise eg. A judo star if you are in to judo, reoccuring actor on a soap, singer in a niche band.

OP posts:
Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 17/01/2026 14:45

I think maybe the best thing to do would be to tell her you've noticed and say how it comes across. End of friendship obviously but going to her employer/Luke just means they have to confront her.

I used to work as an usher whilst I was at drama school and it is indeed a strange world. I used to work with someone who went on and on about being in a TV dance troupe in the 1970's! There were quite a few obsessive people who had no particular love of theatre but loved the 'family' atmosphere. You do get to know ow people really well really quickly because there's do much time to talk whike the show is on. The theatre lovers like to talk about the cast and make out they know them.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:45

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 14:25

If she is actually using photos of Luke then I would say something to him. That’s just not right. If it’s more an insinuation then I’d leave it.

Actual photos and videos of him

OP posts:
Glitterella · 17/01/2026 14:46

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:45

Actual photos and videos of him

Then I would tell Luke for sure. It is stalkerish. The information may not be news to him, it may just as evidence to strange things already happening to him.

Naws · 17/01/2026 14:52

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:45

You genuinely wouldn't raise an eyebrow if you made a new friend who was posting lots of stuff about her being out with someone who's vaguely on your radar?

There's lots of niche famous people that people would recognise eg. A judo star if you are in to judo, reoccuring actor on a soap, singer in a niche band.

Seriously, find a hobby.

HideousKinky · 17/01/2026 14:52

Unless Luke is a personal friend of yours, do nothing

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:53

Okiedokie123 · 17/01/2026 14:18

I would have a chat with Luke about this. If someone was doing this to me/my life I would want to know.
Im surprised people on this thread are saying leave it/dont say anything - would they feel differently I wonder if Sally was a Steve and Luke was a Laura?

I wonder this.
I feel the reaction would be different If it was a male at someone's work, who was pulling photos of a female acquaintances' social media talking about their nicknames for each other, sharing fake messages and pictures of her family.

I also wonder whether the theatre bit masks it, because this type of thing must happen all the time if you are super famous but theres a level of separation.

These people aren't super famous though, they are jobbing actors /rising stars who are living job to job, mingling with everyone, and going home to a flat share. There's zero form of training, or security, she'd have access to them and their belongings etc fairly easily

It feels more similar to me to someone doing it with a colleague from another team at their office photos rather than a famous star.

I think that's probably what's unnerved me about it

OP posts:
MunterJobHunter · 17/01/2026 14:57

OP if he’s vaguely on your radar perhaps let her know you’re aware of him. Without calling her out make it more difficult for her to appropriate his images for her own profile. Question her nights asking did she meet your friend Jimbo there or something.

if it isn’t harming anyone I’d probably just leave it though. People probably know it’s lies and just let her do it because maybe it brightens up an otherwise sad day to pretend. If she seems to be crossing the line from fantasy into trying to make it a reality that’s very different.

NewUserName2244 · 17/01/2026 15:03

Do you have any friends in common? I think (assuming he’s not famous enough that he’s tricky to contact) I’d ask for a number and call him. And explain that you aren’t sure if it’s harmless or worrying, but that you felt it was his call to make.

Endofyear · 17/01/2026 15:03

I think it's a bit sad and she's a fantasist but what she's doing isn't dangerous or hurting anyone. Presumably his profile is public if she's able to share his photos? I'd just stay out of it, it's not something I'd be reporting her and possibly causing her to lose her job over!

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 15:40

So all these posters who say do nothing are ok with a complete stranger snapping photos off their social media (assume it’s Luke face) and using it on theirs and claiming to be their friend? Ok then.

Does the fact that Luke is low key a public figure change things?

Shamper · 17/01/2026 15:58

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 15:40

So all these posters who say do nothing are ok with a complete stranger snapping photos off their social media (assume it’s Luke face) and using it on theirs and claiming to be their friend? Ok then.

Does the fact that Luke is low key a public figure change things?

I think it must do. I think people are reading it a bit more like a friend is pretending to be in a relationship with Robbie Williams rather than....

Paul from sales has a got a whole history of posting pictures of pretending to be with Rachel from accounts, taking photos of the accounts work night out and saying what a great time he had with them.

OP posts:
Glitterella · 17/01/2026 16:04

Shamper · 17/01/2026 15:58

I think it must do. I think people are reading it a bit more like a friend is pretending to be in a relationship with Robbie Williams rather than....

Paul from sales has a got a whole history of posting pictures of pretending to be with Rachel from accounts, taking photos of the accounts work night out and saying what a great time he had with them.

I still think it’s up to Luke to decide if he is happy with this. Even major celebrities have stalkers.

OriginalUsername2 · 17/01/2026 16:19

This reminds me of the woman from a documentary who pretended to be in one of the twin towers on 9/11 and pretended one of the real victims in the other tower was her husband by taking as much info as she could about him from the media.

She was never charged with anything as she didn’t extort any money or put anyone in danger, but a lot of people were very hurt.

She’s most likely very sad and lonely looking to make her life sound interesting.

Hopefully she’s not popping up in his real life and is just living a fantasy but it does happen. If you know the guy well enough you could send him screenshots saying it might be nothing but just in case..

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 16:25

OriginalUsername2 · 17/01/2026 16:19

This reminds me of the woman from a documentary who pretended to be in one of the twin towers on 9/11 and pretended one of the real victims in the other tower was her husband by taking as much info as she could about him from the media.

She was never charged with anything as she didn’t extort any money or put anyone in danger, but a lot of people were very hurt.

She’s most likely very sad and lonely looking to make her life sound interesting.

Hopefully she’s not popping up in his real life and is just living a fantasy but it does happen. If you know the guy well enough you could send him screenshots saying it might be nothing but just in case..

Exactly. What if she is popping up in his real life?

WonderfulSmith · 17/01/2026 16:35

I worked as an usher for a long time. You never really meet the cast of shows that much. I also worked back stage and friendships you do make tend to be rather transient because you are all together for a short time while the show is on. But this was a long time ago before social media.

Eaglemom · 17/01/2026 16:36

Naws · 17/01/2026 14:22

Good lord OP

I think it's you who has the obsession here!

Find a hobby and spend less time checking other people's social media.

I hate when people do this to dismiss and belittle what the person has seen presented infront of them.
OP has every reason to wonder what to do about the strange behaviour she is being witness to.
Nothing at all points to OP having the obsession.

Boomer55 · 17/01/2026 16:38

She’s a harmless fantasist, who takes nothing from your life. Let her be.

wellington77 · 17/01/2026 16:43

This sounds like future stalker territory what she’s doing especially if she’s zoning in on Luke this much

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/01/2026 16:54

Boomer55 · 17/01/2026 16:38

She’s a harmless fantasist, who takes nothing from your life. Let her be.

How do you know it's harmless? Or if it is, that it won't escalate?

I do tonk if the sexes were reversed, the answers would be very different.

OP - Luke deserves to know. If it's harmless, he will probably laugh it off. If there's more to it and she is infiltrating his real, rather than just his virtual life, he will need the evidence.

I really think you should discuss with your mutual friend. You don't have to make a big deal of it.

santasbaubles · 17/01/2026 16:58

Is Luke on Facebook? If so I’d comment and tag him on one of her posts.

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 17:03

Eaglemom · 17/01/2026 16:36

I hate when people do this to dismiss and belittle what the person has seen presented infront of them.
OP has every reason to wonder what to do about the strange behaviour she is being witness to.
Nothing at all points to OP having the obsession.

I agree. This is an anonymous Internet forum
and is exactly the kind of place to ask for advice on what to do.