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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would i be unreasonable to report this person faking a life using old colleagues photos?

122 replies

Shamper · 17/01/2026 11:59

I've name changed because every single detail in this is identifying and I tried to change details but then it didnt make sense

I used to work as an usher in London theatres, I left a few years ago but have lots of links still in that world. I then joined in an unrelated local group where I met Sally who is currently an Usher in london. We became facebook friends (and i cant see she has any theatre friends on there), and she wouldn't know I know a lot about theatre .

Sally's facebook is full of her pretending to be very good friends with low level actors which is absolutely not true.

For example today she's posted a thing about a present they've given her, her talking about days out with them etc, their nicknames for her. She's taking photos off their socials eg of the actor and friends on a night out, or of a group of drinks they've posted and saying "such a great night" or "the blue drink was mine" or a video and saying "we all nearly died of laughing when this happened". Some of it is just random eg she will share their videos of a spider they saw and say its a spider she saw but its a daily occurrence.

She seems particularly fixed on one person, luke. She has photos of her with luke at stage door, and has worked on some shows with him but her feed is full of odd things about their days out together, eg he will post a picture at a park, she will take a photo in her garden and then share them together as "best day out with my lukey". This includes pictures of one of his baby nephews and pretending she's been babysitting (again using photos from their social media)

These aren't high level actors or leads its mostly ensemble members so most people commenting on her posts don't seem to have recognised them, and are commenting normal stuff like this is really happening but mostly it seems just ignoring it. I cant see anyone that's obviously linked to productions that would be seeing it so I feel uneasy.

If I was an actor working most days in the same building as someone that had this whole pretend life with me, I would feel uncomfortable and probably not be taking selfies etc at stage door. I would want to know.

I would be less worried if she was a randomer doing it with someone really obviously famous like pretending to lunch with Tom Holland, but its inexperienced actors who might not have the same sense of stranger danger, dont have any special protection or training and that she actually works in the same building ocassionally.

I obviously suspect Sally has some sort of neurodiversity or possibly low level learning needs, she lives alone, holds down a job etc but does seem a bit vulnerable.

Would you go to the theatre company employers (ushers work for a group usually) or directly alert the actor (s)? I'm linked enough i can pm him on social media. Her family are on her social media but maybe they are just playing along?

I feel really mean because she's obviously really enjoying her job but equally wtf?

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 17/01/2026 12:44

This is only what you can see she’s been up to!! I’d be VERY concerned to what she’s up to that you can’t see! I’d report it to the theatre and to Luke and advice him to contact the police and also make his social media private especially if there is information about his nephew and family on there!!

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:44

TheLadyWithoutTheLamp · 17/01/2026 12:31

If you think she's a stalker, report. If not butt out

I genuinely dont know though.

Is it stalking to do this? As previous posters have said that its harmless, it publicly available images..

If i thought that she was outright following him home, or plotting something sinister then obviously id do something but this feels not that.

It feels like a gray area

OP posts:
Sassylovesbooks · 17/01/2026 12:45

Do you know Luke personally? Has Sally come across Luke, as part of being an usher in the theatre she works for? Taking pictures from his SM and using them in such a way, to suggest to others, that they have a close relationship, is not normal behaviour. Telling lies isn't a crime, but her behaviour is bordering on stalking.

If you know Luke, then I don't see any harm in drawing his attention to Sally's behaviour. It's probably highly unlikely Sally is dangerous, and is sitting outside his home spying on him. However, you don't know that, and surely it's better for him to know, so he can make his own judgement?

I agree that Sally sounds possibly lonely, and has invented a whole different life for herself on SM, because she's deeply unhappy with the one she has.

My worry would be, if Sally did ramp up her behaviour, or is indeed sending romantic letters to his home or following him in her car (something you aren't going to know), and she did do something to harm Luke, how would you feel knowing you possibly could have prevented it?? Yes, it's unlikely, but not impossible.

Iloveeverycat · 17/01/2026 12:45

If she is taking pics off other peoples socials she isn't in any of the photos so why would people believe she was there. Are people that gullible.

TheLadyWithoutTheLamp · 17/01/2026 12:49

Shamper · 17/01/2026 12:44

I genuinely dont know though.

Is it stalking to do this? As previous posters have said that its harmless, it publicly available images..

If i thought that she was outright following him home, or plotting something sinister then obviously id do something but this feels not that.

It feels like a gray area

Yes. I can see your problem. Could you ask Luke (as an example) what he thinks about it?

Flannelfeet · 17/01/2026 12:54

Baby reindeer.

333FionaG · 17/01/2026 12:56

Are you absolutely, 100% sure, that this lady isn't a friend of Luke's? Tbh, her social media activity sounds harmless, and unless she is actively stalking Luke, and/or threatening his real life friends and family, then I would leave her to it. Don't jeopardise her job, and don't contact Luke himself. He will think that YOU are the crazy one if you do that. You seem to be over invested in the life of a casual acquaintance.

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 12:59

Sounds a bit Baby Reindeer-ish

Shamper · 17/01/2026 13:01

In some ways I feel validated that the comments aren't a clear split one way

Part of me does think its a harmless daydreaming of a lonely lady with some kind of learning needs.
The other half of me thinks its a massive red flag

Equally I didnt want to go to her employer when she's technically not breaking any rules I dont think, and I no longer work there.

Equally it seems a bit unhinged of me to contact someone who I dont know(he's a friend of a friend), to say hey did you know about this?

I probably wouldn't be as alarmed if it was someone more famous

OP posts:
Shamper · 17/01/2026 13:02

TheWickerWoman · 17/01/2026 12:35

I have a friend on FB who does things like this
posts pictures of meals he’s taken from restaurant website pretending he’s about to eat it. Pictures of women he’s lifted from websites and pretends he’s out with them. Picture of a hand holding a gun saying he’s got people after him so has armed himself (I reverse search these photos so know it’s not him. A picture of a boxer who was recently in the news pretending he’s knew him before he was professional.

What I have written here is the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more and it’s bizarre.. no one on his FB list interacts with these posts. I believe he’s got low self esteem and that’s why he does it but it’s relentless. Sometimes he will delete them the next day but sometimes he keeps them. I think he’s a drinker too.

I know exactly what you mean. It just really makes me feel uneasy for him, but also worried for her

OP posts:
Shedmistress · 17/01/2026 13:07

I'd probably post on her next one 'OMG I used to work with Lukey, how is he? Ive not seen him in years.' And see how quickly she blocks you.

ACIGC · 17/01/2026 13:08

I actually would tell Luke. I'd want to know if some nut job was making up a whole fake life using my photos. Her behaviour is unhinged though I suspect if she's somehow prevented from using Luke's stuff (ie if he blocks her) she'll just go onto someone else.

Glitterella · 17/01/2026 13:10

I’d tell Luke and leave her employer out of it.

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 17/01/2026 13:10

Even if she’s not a stalker she’s a bloody weirdo and I would be distancing myself pretty sharpish.

Dollymylove · 17/01/2026 13:16

Has Luke seen her posts? Does he even know?
It seems she has an obsession with this man, if this is the case (and he doesnt know) I would be tempted to tell him

JLou08 · 17/01/2026 13:18

I wouldn't report it. You could completely blow up her life. Loss of job, further social exclusion when already lonely, shame and embarrassment. She seems very vulnerable so I'd be worried about what could happen. I would have a chat with her about it though because even if you don't report it some else might do in the future.

SoImAHorseThenTed · 17/01/2026 14:00

I had a young woman helping me with my horses once. I’m not famous, but I am high profile in a very niche sport. I found out she had been pretending on social media to own my main competition horse, and had been posting photos of me on the horse with my head cropped off the photo saying it was her on the horse. It was quite obvious they were professional photos not of her, and the horse was very recognisably mine in them. It was downright freaky and weird, and I really didn’t feel comfortable at all any more having her around the yard while I wasn’t there. I told her I knew she was using my photos, and it absolutely blew up. Her mother contacted me to tell me she was considering killing herself because I’d shamed her. So I would be careful, but if you think Luke would be bothered by being part of this weird fantasy then I would somehow try to get her to stop.

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:01

JLou08 · 17/01/2026 13:18

I wouldn't report it. You could completely blow up her life. Loss of job, further social exclusion when already lonely, shame and embarrassment. She seems very vulnerable so I'd be worried about what could happen. I would have a chat with her about it though because even if you don't report it some else might do in the future.

I have considered speaking to her, or doing what a pp suggested of saying "oh wow are you friends with luke and the rest"

My worry is that if she is really lonely I dont wat to make the craft group an uncomfortable place for her.

Equally I'm enjoying the craft group, and dont want to cause some massive rift where if she acts unpredictably I cant relax.

I also feel like I wouldn't be able to out right say "this is creepy and might threaten your job", "this isn't true" ive got no idea how she might react to that, and frankly I'm warey given she's obviously able to become quite fixated on stuff.

It would probably only be a casual, oh how did you become friends and if she styled it out I would have nowhere to go with it

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 17/01/2026 14:08

Can you comment on one of her posts “ahh I’ve met Luke a few times, do you follow his socials?”
It might give her the nod that you know what she’s up to.

Weird behaviour from her though!

MadisonMontgomery · 17/01/2026 14:11

It’s a tough one, she sounds a very lonely woman who is using this as an escape perhaps. I think I would maybe just make a little comment to her next time you see her, like oh, I didn’t know you knew Luke, I saw your post you’d been for a meal with him (or whatever she posted) how fun! Don’t make a big thing of it, but see what happens after that. Of course, if you think she is actually stalking him you need to escalate this, but it sounds like it’s currently more of a fantasy life atm.

Okiedokie123 · 17/01/2026 14:18

I would have a chat with Luke about this. If someone was doing this to me/my life I would want to know.
Im surprised people on this thread are saying leave it/dont say anything - would they feel differently I wonder if Sally was a Steve and Luke was a Laura?

Tengreenuggs · 17/01/2026 14:19

Baby Reindeer vibes

OchonAgusOchonOh · 17/01/2026 14:21

If Luke is a friend of a friend, then the obvious thing to do is mention it to the friend. If she's referring to him as "my Lukey, she's obviously pretending to be in a relationship with him.

You just say to your friend that you've joined a craft group and looks like one of the members is a very close friend of Luke's and you're wondering does your friend know her too.

It's seriously odd behaviour and may be harmless but it also may not.

Terrine · 17/01/2026 14:21

Shamper · 17/01/2026 14:01

I have considered speaking to her, or doing what a pp suggested of saying "oh wow are you friends with luke and the rest"

My worry is that if she is really lonely I dont wat to make the craft group an uncomfortable place for her.

Equally I'm enjoying the craft group, and dont want to cause some massive rift where if she acts unpredictably I cant relax.

I also feel like I wouldn't be able to out right say "this is creepy and might threaten your job", "this isn't true" ive got no idea how she might react to that, and frankly I'm warey given she's obviously able to become quite fixated on stuff.

It would probably only be a casual, oh how did you become friends and if she styled it out I would have nowhere to go with it

Yes OP this is exactly why I wouldn’t say anything to her, Luke or anyone else. Let it burn itself out.

Terrine · 17/01/2026 14:22

333FionaG · 17/01/2026 12:56

Are you absolutely, 100% sure, that this lady isn't a friend of Luke's? Tbh, her social media activity sounds harmless, and unless she is actively stalking Luke, and/or threatening his real life friends and family, then I would leave her to it. Don't jeopardise her job, and don't contact Luke himself. He will think that YOU are the crazy one if you do that. You seem to be over invested in the life of a casual acquaintance.

I TOTALLY agree with everything said in this post OP.