To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

I think a draw would be fair, but if I were the son and girlfriend I'd offer it to the parents. I'm of a generation that had an age hierarchy though, that seems to be gone, maybe for the best, who knows.

Exactly - I would offer it whether they were 60 or 80, but the sense of entitlement from the OP is awful. These are adult children, not teenagers!

I cannot for the life of me think why you would think you should get the best room if you are all paying equally

Is this a reverse and you are the organising gf and his parents are being entitled?! 🤣

Organiser gets first choice
or you decide to split payment differently by room niceness

How big a difference is there in the rooms?

Why do you think you should get the best room?

Usually it’d be whoever is paying the biggest share but as you’re all contributing equally then it should be the person who has put in the effort to organise it because that is a non-financial payment, ie your son’s partner.

Can’t believe you are making your son pay the same as couples because he is single. It’s just mean and money grabbey. This is a family holiday not a posh hotel trip.

I'm reading this as 'theres conflict because sons gf wants this room as do i'

I'd be careful OP. Personally, I'd be delighted that my sons and their partners choose to spend their money doing this with me. Further that the gf is organizing. Very worst case scenario - you cause such a stink over a room, the gf clocks and says never again. It could be - in years to come - you regret your behaviour here.

This is hilarious. Why should you get the best room???

The organiser should. Nuts.

Why? I'm serious. I was brought up to believe that, but I'm unlearning it. I'm not talking about accommodation for infirmity, to be clear. But just having the biggest room with the best view? Why are people who happen to be born earlier entitled to it just because? It's one of those 'facts' that we are just conditioned to accept but it's silly. It's not as if OP and her husband were paying for the whole thing.

I would offer my parents the best room in this scenario. If I was the oldest person though I wouldn’t assume that I’d get the best room.

As long as all the rooms are adequate and none are unsuitable, just go with the flow. Organising these things is hard enough without treating who gets which room like an offshoot of the order of precedence under Louis XIV.

I don’t think it’s been made clear whether ‘per person’ actually means per person or means per household though.

Based on op’s second post “If we were staying in a hotel, his room would cost more because you’d split the cost per room not per person.” I’m guessing that they’re paying cost per person, so he’d be paying 1/5 while the two couples are paying 2/5 per couple.

Why should you get it over the organiser?

Organiser, though I’d have thought your DS may suggest you have the best room? Depends on your relationship I guess. We are going away in a villa with adult DCs, DGCs and partners this year and my DD has organised it. She has given the best room to DH and I as she said we deserve it. It’s a thank you for all we do for them. I’m not arguing with her!

if everyone is paying the same then organiser gets the best room as they’ve put in the extra effort.

Exactly. Don't be 'that MIL.

Organiser gets the best room.
is this a reverse?

I agree that the organiser gets the best room if you are all paying equal shares.

Fascinating that someone has organised a whole holiday for you and you think you deserve the best room.

Organizer gets the best room if all other things are equal.
However, I might give it up for a 60th bitthday boy in the party, but then there is also the 30th birthday boy. But then 60 trumps 30.

I would offer to pay extra as well if I had a far superior room. Maybe pay for the first food shop or cover a meal out?

From the sound of the OP, she probably doesn't do that much for everyone, yet thinks she is entitled just because. The words of Tywin Lannister come to mind 'he who says "I am the King" is no true king'.

What's your reason for thinking you and your DH should get the best room though?

Why do you feel you should get the best room? Because you are older? You sound like my 90 year old entitled mother and airing this view will put a dampener on the whole thing from the get go.

The GF organising so she gets first dibs, the original OP does make it sound as if the OP is herself organising/paying, whose idea was it? I do think the person with a small room should pay less, fact is you are not in a hotel so you can control the costs, although tricky as she has organised.

I agree that son and gf should get it but the chances are they’ll be shagging like rabbits and probably won’t care about the view.

I’d have a convo and say ‘if you don’t want the room with the view can we have it?’ and if they they say no then suck it up. You’ll be able to still see the view from the patio etc. I would rather be generous and give them the good memories of their holiday with you than be grabby about it.

If they were all friends of different ages, it would be different. But they are the parents! I think there's some hierarchy in that. As I said, it would feel disrespectful to get the best room and leave my ILs in a lesser room. Or my parents.

Correct