To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

The two birthday boys share the wonderful room, the other three non-birthday people each get one of the meh rooms, and you leave one room for Miss Manners.

You haven’t said why you think you deserve the best room?

I think the organiser should get first choice.

Agree with most that it should be the organiser. We did a similar thing a while back and as the organiser on that one we had no qualms about nabbing the room with the balcony.

I wouldn't either but, equally, I would not expect my mother to think she is automatically entitled to it. Just not the way we work as a family.

When we book a big house for holiday we always get the best room. Hours of planning always falls to us... Best room is our reward!!

In my opinion if you are paying the same I would think the organiser has a call in choosing for their efforts. Specially if organising it was a pain. Once said that a family like mine will give the better roon to the parents out of respect. The other two can be choose by tossing a coin or something like that. However is not for you to claim a room, if you have to claim the bigger room something makes your family different than mine.

In our family I think I would give my parents the best bedroom as a gesture of love and repect. 30 is pretty young to be bagging the senior room .
However my parents would also insist on paying for something like the cost of a celebratory meal out of everyone and are always hugely generous.
I don’t think there is any SHOULD about this arrangement .

If everyone is paying the same then I'd give the best room to the person who organised it.

Yeah this. I have to say as the girlfriend if I had organised and paid a good chunk towards a weekend away with my boyfriend parents and then they started insisting on having the best room I’d be pretty annoyed and it would make me think twice about going on a trip with them again.

OP be mindful how you treat this woman, who’s already clearly making the effort for your family. Don’t be that MIL who’s on here in a few year’s time moaning you hardly see the grandkids because your behaviour is alienating the gf.

Older son and girlfriend as they have the double whammy of having organised it and having a big birthday.

Parents need to get their heads out of being top of the hierarchy imo.

If everyone pays an equal share, the person doing the work of organising should get the best room.

The organiser.

Personally I would leave the best room for my parents/PIL simply because they're older. Just like I always let Mil in the front seat because it's comfortable. It's about respect. If it would have been friends going I would say organiser as well.

But if I was the OP I wouldn't expect it. And certainly not say something entitled about it. What gives me such pleasure to let Mil have the best of everything is that she absolutely does not expect it- on the contrary she has a tendancy to put everyone else's desires first.

I would offer the room to the parents in this scenario if it were me and my parents/ILs. The OP is being really entitled in assuming that she and her husband should automatically get the best room just because they're the oldest though.

Fair point. I personally was brought up to offer the truly old the best of everything, as a sign of respect. However, that's actually something I'm trying to unlearn a bit, so you are correct. There is no reason why the eldest couple should expect to be entitled to the best, and it's pretty cheeky for them to assume they should.

Youngest son should be paying 1/5 not 1/3, ridiculous to have it otherwise.

Always room for discussion about "best rooms" ime. Last time this came up for me, one room had the fancy bed and grand view, but the "second" room had a more secluded balcony and weirdly more plug sockets. Didn't hesitate to choose the latter. I've also chosen "second-best" bedrooms that are smaller but quieter at the back of the house. I'm not remotely bothered about having a view in my bedroom because I'm hopefully not going to spend the majority of my waking hours in it.

Having said that if you want the best room your best option is to offer to pay extra for it. If you're not paying extra and didn't organise it there's no reason you should be entitled to it.

I'd give it to the older couple.

I think you've put your finger on it.

Nails it

In my experience if someone's old enough that it's an important factor at all, they'll choose the most practical option for them rather than the "best" per se - the downstairs room if there is one, or the closest to the toilet.

Why can't you move rooms so everyone gets dibs on it during the holiday?

Do people really think that? Of course it goes to the parents. If everyone was the same age (or friends of different ages). But I wouldn't dream of giving the second best room to ILs. It would be demeaning.

Ah missed that!

Fair enough if you would give it. It doesn't mean that the older couple should expect it, that's cheeky. And it isn't the organisers here asking for advice, it's the one half of the 'older' couple. Personally, I barely consider 60 to be older. It is middle aged, most 60 year olds still work. There is no way that the OP can ask for this room without coming off like a diva.

In my family we would all of course expect dad to have the best room- just as a sign of respect, but that’s just they way we are I guess.