To think we should get the best room in a villa?

[hwange]

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

• One room for me and my husband
• One room for our older son and his girlfriend
• One room for our younger son
• Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

But what seems to be happening here is the younger son is paying £833, same as everyone else, so should have the same potential claim to the best room as everyone else. If he's paying the same it's irrelevant that the others are "sharing" a room - they're couples so of course they are!

I think the birthday boys should get 1st choice but ur son and his girlfriend 1st then u and hubbie.

I was brought up to respect my elders so even if I organised it I would give the parents the best room.
Without question.

Yep, but MN is phenomenally ageist and resentful of older people.

So, excluding the single person who is ok with a less desirable room there are two couples attending, and one half of each couple will be celebrating a significant birthday?
I would say they both have equal entitlement to the best room.
Why would you think that you should have it?
In the circumstances you describe I feel it would be reasonable for the person organising to have it as they have done more to facilitate it.
If that is not acceptable then the only fair way is by some form of chance. Draw lots, random numbers, etc.
I am a similar age to you and I would never expect the best room just because I have been living longer.

They chose to have children. Our children don’t have to be grateful that we had them and brought them up. It’s what parents should do. You sound like my in laws and they’re hugely entitled. I find that people that think like them weren’t the best parents, they just think being older and being at the top of their hierarchy in their head means they get respect regardless. It’s not something I buy into.

Let husband and son share the lovely room as its their birthdays 😂😂 then rest of yous can have a room each..5 rooms there you said..honestly though it's ridiculous if you're only 60 youre not old so can have any room and as for the Son that has the pay the same as the couples god help him..I'd say this will be a fun trip for him..

I think many of us would instinctively do this... but the big issue is them just expecting this as their right, without any gratitude at all.

I don't get gifts for those days, no. Birthday gifts, yes. My parents don't like commercial holidays, though.

Me either.

Fair enough 🤷 I'd never automatically expect it, but I'd always give it.

What is 'ageist' about saying 60 year olds are not automatically entitled to the best of everything?

30 isn't really a significant birthday is it? 18, 21, 40, 60 are significant but not 30.

How is it ageist and resentful to treat older people as equals and not be subservient to them, just for being older?

In this case, they aren't even elderly - they're both (I'm assuming) around 60!

Also am I missing something here. What is all this “legwork” and great effort in organising a Villa. I mean really- book it and take receipt of everyone’s contributions. Don’t see the big deal.

Where does the OP suggest SHE should have the best room, I must've missed that???

That's what you sign up for as a parent

It’s not subservience. It’s basic respect for elders. Used to be universal - sadly lacking now with the “me first” approach which seems to be taking over

Of course it is. Any birthday ending in a zero - with the exception of 20, which for historic reasons tends to get shifted to 21 - is a landmark and a significant birthday.

Are you really saying that 19 years of your life should pass by without any significant birthdays?

If it’s so easy OP should have done it and then they would be deserving of the best room. 😉

Finding the villa with the facilities to suit everyone can be a pain.

It's in the title of the thread!

In the title!!!

So the logic of who gets to pick is:
Organiser
You
Other son because he’s likely less bothered.

Why doesn't that apply to the OP, though. Why should she be allowed to be 'everyone for themselves'.

But how does that actively translate to ageism and resentfulness?

If I buy the last/best of something in a shop, does that make me ageist and resentful, as there may have been people who are older than me who would have wanted it if they'd got there first?!