To feel weird about Brownies because there’s a boy there?

[ElizaDolittle124]

Was invited to Brownies tonight to see my daughter do her ‘promise’. Was a bit awkward as it turns out there’s a boy in the group. Another parent turned up with a younger sibling who immediately said loudly ‘mummy why is there a boy here?’ The mum was v flustered trying to explain he wanted to join in and the child just said ‘but brownies is for girls’ until she told him to be quiet.

I just feel a bit weird that I didn’t know. The whole reason we joined brownies was for the girls only environment, which my daughter was really excited about. Feel like I should have just put her in the scouts instead now (which would have been more convenient). But my friend is one of the brownie leaders and she encouraged me by promoting the idea of a girl’s only space.

There’s a brownie camp sleepover thing next month where they sleep in dormitories. My daughter can’t go anyway as we have other plans that weekend, but it’s got me wondering how they’re going to arrange that? Surely they can’t have the boy sleeping separately in a room on his own, but equally he can’t go with the girls?

Again

Boy at brownies

If we’re talking exclusion, then let’s talk about how it’s near on impossible to get your DD on a football or rugby team at a school even if they run rings round everyone. Most schools don’t have a girls football or rugby team and they are excluded from the boys team more often than not.

Girls know all about exclusion. Then when we say, oh we will just go set up our own hobbies and interests, it’s not ok because boys/ men want their own things, and access to ours too.

If there was bullying we’d deal with it. If we didn’t it could be escalated to higher up in organisation.
There’s 3 adults to under 30 kids in one room. We only allow 1 girl to the loo at a time. An adult always has eyes on group. We also very much emphasise and model all helping each other, being respectful, not speaking over people etc. If a girl is on her own we keep a careful eye and work to get her integrated.
On trips we ensure they are in a bedroom with a least 1 friend if we aren’t all in one space.
There’s no playground, breaks, lunchtime, moving along corridor where bullying incidents can occur at school.

Clearly haven’t read the thread

You have not read the thread

No I haven't. But I've read your posts and you keep telling me it's not OK to exclude girls from girls' groups.

Which I agree with.

So unless you are pretending boys are girls, I don't know why you keep disagreeing me about something we agree on.

Interestingly no girls or parents have brought up recent press release. If they had I would have discussed in age appropriate way with the girls.
Like I said earlier on the ground where we are it was a none issue, we are in an all girls/female leader area.
We did debate should boys be allowed in guides as one of our topics and the girls wanting girl only which you would expect. Those wanting mixed will have joined the mixed sex group scouting instead, both thriving in our area.

It is impossible to be certain.

You won’t know till you ask your friend

That isnt the message single sex groups for girls gives. That would only be the case if they were compulsory, and girls were being forcibly segregated from boys.
As it is there are plenty of options for girls to join mixed sex groups, plus an option for them to have a group of their own if they wish. Whichever way you look at it, to have the choice between mixing with boys or not, is a positive for girls, and shouldn't be taken away from them.
Boys also had the option of single sex groups, cubs and scouts, but take up fell to such low levels they chose to include girls to up the numbers in order to stay running at all. Which suggests that either boys are less keen on single sex groups than girls, or less into the sort of organised activities on offer.

They're all different so I can't generalise!

One of my son's good friends - a girl - presented as very tomboyish all through childhood. Short hair, wore sports / oversized clothes, very sporty and not at all interested in "girly" things, had mixed group of friends. Even though she has a very feminine face almost without fail whenever I witnessed new people - adults and children - meeting her she was mistaken as a boy. Have had several people ask me to clarify on the DL too. Heck just had her over recently and the adults who didn't know her kept referring to her as "he". Despite her looking more like a teen girl, the skater type clothes are here to stay and apparently that's enough. It's amazing what gender stereotypes and social conditioning cause us to assume or overlook.

And no she's not trans. Happy as a girl, just not the girl society wants her to be.

I agree strongly with this post...

Re boys being on average more dominant even when young- do you think that is nature as well as nurture?

Come on get a grip on reality...girls are girls, boys are boys...fact... full stop..

Gender

Most clearly I have read the thread!

What , plz say you are kidding me

??

No girls are excluded from Brownies

why not ask your friend the brownie leader what the real life position is rather than what is in the policy

Wow

Really??????

I assume your talking about an older child / young teen. And by then the boys will be looking more masculine.

Young children upto age of about 7 have neutral faces. People take cues from clothing and hair, way more than you think.

Remember this child looks like a boy, and I'm assuming that means short hair, being the thing that makes them look like a boy in a Brownie uniform.
The child could either be a boy son of a leader who can't leave them home alone. Or its a girl with short hair, the wee soul could have been through cancer treatment for all we know.

One thing the child isn't is a boy pretending to be a girl. Or he'd have long hair and look like a girl and blend into the other young girls at that age.

People can pick out male children at that age - faces aren't just the give away