Did you ever regret formula feeding from birth?

[Needsomeguidance103]

I say from birth but I’m considering ff as soon as we get home from the hospital after giving baby colostrum in the hospital.

With DS I tried, and tried, and tried to get him to latch but due to a rough start in nicu and latching issues we stopped at 9 weeks and I went onto formula. I think I have a bit of trauma from it all… I’m thinking will it be easier, especially with a toddler at home to do bottles/formula from day one?

Did you ever regret not trying breast feeding or are you happy with your choice?

please no arguments or nastiness in the comments, happy for discussions and opinions though

I BFd my kids and the second one wouldn’t take a bottle for the combi feeding I’d done with my first.

I basically did everything - every feed, burp, sorting out spit up blah blah

I regret not going straight to bottle feeding.

Guilt yes but no regrets, not now. I found it such an incredibly painful experience and it was making me so depressed. I felt so pressurised by my midwife to push through the pain and not give up and I started to dread the whole thing then one day the midwife came with another midwife, this wonderful woman took me in another room and said that she could see how miserable I looked and although she wasn't supposed to say it she recommended that I turn to formula, that day felt like a weight had been lifted off my post natal depressed shoulders. I became a happy mum and was really able to enjoy my baby.

Two years later I had my DD and tried again but it was too uncomfortable so I gave up and had no regrets.

They are 20 and 17 now and very happy.

Not for a second. Tried for about 10 days, midwife instructed DH to go to Boots there and then for formula. Wish I’d changed earlier. Every intention for subsequent DCs to be straight on bottles. Don’t beat yourself up.

Simple and effective!

Two kids both bottle fed, no attachment issues, unless I got blessed by two amazing easy going kids - maybe the fact they weren't attached to me 24/7 meant they thrived?
I was also major relaxed, kids fed by various family members.

They're almost 11 and 9 - not once have I thought about the fact I bottle fed, definitely not something that crosses my mind ever. Very independent, happy, minimal if any behaviour issues.

I find everyone I know that bf had issues be it the mums with stress and that or the kids with attachment/behaviour. This is just my personal experience, I'm almost sure there's some bf unicorn mum here to tell me that they've bf 8 kids and have perfect life 😂

Bottle feed if you want to op and live your best life! Do what you want to do.

Nope, never!
I never wanted to breast feed either if my kids. In fact the very thought of it made me cringe! They were both bottle fed right from the start, nobody ever put me down about it or tried to persuade me to do otherwise. Babies fed well, and slept through the night from 6 and 10 weeks respectively. They're now 27 and 22, healthy and happy!

Trying to breastfeed spoiled my early days with DD1. Dd2 and 3 were bottle fed from the start. Although interestingly both their discharge forms were marked as breastfeeding.

You know you can advocate for formula feeding without making huge, frankly rude, generalisations about breastfeeding mothers and babies. I found breastfeeding a really positive experience as did the vast majority of my friends. I don't go around slagging off women who formula feed and claiming there is something wrong with their children's attachment.

Sorry to derail your thread OP and good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I just get fed up of the crap people say about breastfeeding on these things.

I loved formula feeding. I did it from birth.

So easy, my big baby was never hungry and my husband and I shared feeding and night shifts from day one of being at home.

Such a lovely easy experience, baby slept like a dream, we were all so chilled and happy.

I never tried for no reason other than I didn't want to and I reasoned that given noone would be able to tell at preschool if he was breastfed or not, it wasn't important enough to me to try.

No regrets.
I beat myself up badly at the time but with the benefit of hindsight it simply does not matter.

Nope never once have I regretted bottle feeding from birth. I tried to breastfeeding dc1 and he wouldn't latch on. Dc2 was a SCBU baby, he was tube fed initially and I tried everything to latch on. Eventually a lovely scbu nurse who tried to help pointed out he wasnt able to home till he was feeding properly so I put him on the bottle and he took to it immediately. Dc3 got put on a bottle straight after birth. He loved his birth and drank double the average of a newborn and was so much more content.

Boobs never worked despite being massive, didn’t have any milk come in. I think it was shock due to very long labour/emergency c section and then she was in SCBU that caused it.

I did feel awful about it for a little while but tbh was just grateful neither of us was dead and I was just try to survive afterwards. I don’t think I could have dealt with something else going to spectacularly wrong. She’s 22 now has always been disgustingly healthy and absolutely fine so no regrets.

Only managed a couple of weeks breast feeding / pumping with DD16 and that was supplementing with formula from day 2.

She’s now a straight A student, we’re super close and she’s only had a few days ill in her life. Beat myself up about it at the time with all the pressure of not doing the best thing for my baby but looking back that was needless. No regrets at all now.

Agree. I don't see the need to speak for and about other women's experiences in an otherwise positive thread.

No. Loved the ease of bottle feeding and people could help feed them - win win!

I think you missed the part where I said everyone I KNOW. Family members, my close female friends, like actual loved ones. They've all had struggles, sorry that bothers you.

Instead of being bothered that you and friends have had positive experiences and taking it personally, I'm very happy for you and your friends. Congratulations! Wish it was the same for my loved ones and not an ongoing shitshow it has been for some. My formula feeding loved ones have all had positive experiences except for one actually (but their child had milk allergy and an autoimmune disease found later on in life ) but it settled once Dr's figured stuff out.

What you do, or do not, is frankly of no interest to me. Slag off what you want or who you want too, again, not my problem, I dont know you (and don't want to know you). I'd like to be left out of it though! Thanks.

I'm very happy for you and your friends having a positive breast feeding experience, maybe op would like to know if you think about the positive breast feeding experience on a regular basis.
Then she can weigh up what's best for her. Maybe ask OP if she'd like to hear your and your friends positive breast feeding experiences.

No.
The thought of my nipple in someone else's mouth makes me cringe.

I had a terrible time with DS1 and switched to ff after a few days. I believed that I wasn’t cut out for bf. When I gave birth to DS2, he was deliver onto me, turned his head and latched on immediately! The midwife said she’d never seen anything like it. He was an absolute dream to feed, no problems at all, and always slept brilliantly. I fed him until he was 15 months. Then DD came along and she was a nightmare! I managed 6 weeks before I gave up, I was on my knees.

My point is that we are made to feel like successful breastfeeding is down to mothers. I strongly believe it’s down to babies. My first wouldn’t latch on. My third would feed for 3 minutes, fall asleep and wake up for another feed 20-30 minutes later. It was completely unsustainable. (She’s actually 21 now and still a grazer, and only ever eats 20% of a meal). Yet I had the same breasts with all of them.

You may have a completely different experience this time around. It might be worth considering trying it for at least a day or two and see how it goes. You can always go onto formula if it’s not working out.

I absolutely get the trauma, we had latch issues, blood sugar issues and ended up blue lighted back to NICU at 3 days old with eldest. It was really horrific. That said due to a very supportive NICU nurse and a wonderful health visitor I did end up breastfeeding him into toddler hood with initial formula supplements.

Second I was more open to seeing how the land lay, she latched immediately, fed strongly and bottle refused from day 1 despite a tongue tie. Theres no right or wrong answer but I found it quite healing when some things that had been catastrophic first time round were easy second time round.

Priorities your mental health! For me that meant having a bash at breastfeeding and thankfully it went well. If for you it means not even going down that route do that! Breastfeeding is a particular type of hard work even when it goes well, or it was for me anyway, very physically demanding. But formula feeding is hard work in a different way, organisation, planning for hot water access, extra washing and sterilizing. Ultimately breastfeeding suited us better.

Not for a single second. I honestly don’t think it makes any difference on an individual level, in fact I’m pretty sure research suggests this. For me, the minimal health benefits weren’t worth DH not being able to feed the baby, my boobs being ruined, all the pressure on me at nighttime etc.

Nope; I have two sons age 7 and nearly 2. Bottle fed both from day 1. Both healthy, clever, chatty and thriving. Eldest is at the underweight end of healthy but that’s genetic (my husband is also long and skinny with not an ounce of fat on him), not how he was fed.

Yes & no.
I'm a ftm to a 5month old boy. Was considering give breastfeeding a go and wanted to give baby colostrum when born. When he was born he got a tiny amount but there was v little there. I then formula fed from the off and honestly I don't think my mental health would have coped with breastfeeding.
My husband can help when needed (or someone else) I was in hospital after baby was born and was so glad I had chosen formula as I don't know what I would have done.
On the other hand I also feel I've let my child down by not breastfeeding, as all I seem to see is these militant people, often women, on social media dismissing anyone who hasn't breastfed regardless of circumstance as not caring about their child. Personally I don't care how anyone chooses to feed their baby, it's none of my business. If I have anymore children I will formula feed again.

Only regret I had was trying to persevere with breastfeeding for so long. Had the most awful midwife in hospital who made me feel like shit and pretty much accused me of not trying hard enough. Funny how every time I called for help (as I had been instructed to do) he showed zero interest and ignored me. Put on my notes that I wasn’t trying so when the night shift feeding specialist saw this she wiped the floor with him as she spent almost her whole shift with us trying everything. I will never forget how he made me feel.

DD was stuck on me post CS while I was high as a kite / out of it and was dry nursing as my milk didn’t come in. She was then FF due to screaming blue murder much to the disgust of the MW and assistants who kept making loaded comments