Did you ever regret formula feeding from birth?

[Needsomeguidance103]

I say from birth but I’m considering ff as soon as we get home from the hospital after giving baby colostrum in the hospital.

With DS I tried, and tried, and tried to get him to latch but due to a rough start in nicu and latching issues we stopped at 9 weeks and I went onto formula. I think I have a bit of trauma from it all… I’m thinking will it be easier, especially with a toddler at home to do bottles/formula from day one?

Did you ever regret not trying breast feeding or are you happy with your choice?

please no arguments or nastiness in the comments, happy for discussions and opinions though

So sorry you had to go through that. The constant guilt trips if you don't breastfeed are so dangerous because women will actually let their child get so ill because they think formula feeding is some kind of failure. Even if breast is best, I think they all need to stop treating FF women so poorly. Not everyone can bf and not everyone wants to. The mothers decision is valid whichever way they choose. Hope your little one is ok now😊

The more thats being learnt about gut health would make me want to BF, but the start is the hardest part so it'd be tough to commit to that for a short period for me. I'd definitely try and get as much colostrum pre birth to supplement as long as possible.

I tried BF. Couldn't believe how painful it was. After a few days, a kind midwife took pity on me in the middle of the night and said "I'm not supposed to say this but remember there's more than one way to feed a baby". I was so grateful to her. Looking back, im quite annoyed there was so much pressure to BF

I BF mine, but I very much went into it with the attitude that I'd just take it one feed at a time and wasn't really wedded to doing it long term! I was pretty committed to them getting colostrum but beyond that didn't have any strong feelings.

As it happened I ended up BFing for ages but if it hadn't worked out I'd have switched to FF without a second thought. It just happened to feel easier to carry on so I did.

So my advice is, BF while in hospital (if you can) because it's frankly easier than dicking about packing formula etc. But once you're home, do whatever works for you.

Whatever happens, it will be a different experience. That I can guarantee! I also had terrible PND with my first and it completely disappeared when my second was born.

Really would like a third now!

I find this conversation really interesting, as I work in BF but mostly see mums who are struggling to BF and all that comes with that.

As a caveat, before I get jumped on, I don’t care how a baby is fed - I care about supporting mum in the right way for her, if that’s wanting to stop BF or how to be pain free/help baby get enough. I support people to make a choice that works for them.

As someone else has already said (or alluded to), having difficulty with BF your first doesn’t necessarily mean you will with your second. Often milk comes in quicker with a second baby, and hopefully you’ll have an easier start with this one. You never know, this one might be easy!

Good luck with your new baby 🥰

This happened to a friend's little boy too and he was admitted into hospital because he was literally starving. She felt so guilty over giving him formula despite it literally saving his life. The pressure and guilt she faced was ridiculous and completely ruined her introduction into motherhood.

Never, happy mum = happy baby. You do what’s best for you.

Couldnt establish bf’ing in hospital and it was the only thing stopping me from being discharged so i went straight to formula as i was desperate to go home!🤣 I suffered with PPD/PPA and i think formula feeding was a saving grace - allowed me to share the night feeds with my husband and hand baby over to relatives for a few hours to give myself a break for the sake of my own mental health.

I BF for a bit, as long as they get colostrum I don’t see any issues except it’s more costly and faffy. My best friend literally wasn’t prepared to do any bf at all, and didn’t listen to any comments from anyone
honestly, it’s up to you and you alone

Not at all, it was a brilliant decision. Having had godawful births, it was great being able to entirely opt out of night feeding for a bit. A luxury to be able to focus on my own rest and recovery for that time.

That being said, everyone's different.

Can honestly say I never thought about how i fed DS1 (ff from a few weeks) until I got some nasty comments from MWs about it.

then didnt think about it again until i was pg with DS2 and experienced terrible pressure to BF and then had shitty comments again from MWs about FFing when I did manage to BF DS2 (2 years!)

Then didn't think about it again until I joined MN and saw how common nasty comments towards FF was on here.

Dont regret it at all though. Seems weird to regret feeding your baby 🤣

Nope. Wanted to breastfeed but no strong feelings either way. Born on a Friday evening, couldn't latch but persisted and used syringes for colostrum. No access to infant feeding team until the Monday, by Sunday night he was on bottles and formula with some expressed milk (1-2 feeds a day) for about 4-6 weeks. It's a bit of a blur!

I breastfed my DD for 10 days and hated it. Latching on wasn't a problem, in fact she was like a bloody limpet and she sucked like an industrial strength vacuum cleaner! My nipples ended up bleeding at every feed and it was so painful. It got so that I dreaded feed times and instead of the relaxing, bonding experience it should have been I was so tense, wanted to push her away and was in tears with the pain.

The relief when I switched to formula was immense and feeding became a lovely time for me. It was probably far better for DD too because her mum was finally relaxed; she certainly didn't care where her food was coming from.

My only regret is not switching sooner.

What other people felt is irrelevant.

You talk about stress and trauma and not enjoying your baby - it sounds like (apologies if I’m wrong) you maybe slightly regret trying for so long to breastfeed your first. You don’t need to go through that again.

On the other hand, you know more now. So if you are thinking that maybe it will be different this time and are already worrying you might regret it, you might feel better saying “well I’ll try it for literally a day or two, but I’m not putting up with all the hell I went through last time so I’ll switch to formula the second I get even a hint of feeling like it’s not working”.

No regrets at all xx

Yes I felt bad that I didn't try harder so with my 4th I threw everything I could at it and my milk still dried up by week three. As much as breastfeeding experts would have you believe that this can be avoided I genuinely think it just happens naturally to some people. I didn't feel as bad after that because I realised it probably never would have worked anyway.

Nope, I loved formula feeding. It made my relationship with my husband far more equal, too. 100% the best parenting decision I made. I love FF, and I wish that my friends who BF could have been as happy, relaxed, and free as I was. Parenthood doesn't have to be that difficult!

I have older children now and I breast fed them. I absolutely never think about the fact that I breast fed them. It was all consuming at the time and literally the last thing I think about now.

Similarly with my friends who formula fed. Some of them did so after breast feeding didn't work out and had misplaced feelings of guilt at the time. Now our massive healthy children run round and what we fed them for the first few months of their life is the last thing on our mind.

For me it was the opposite I never considered ff, it was just an assumption that I would bf. All my family did so it was the done thing. Yes it was hard at the start. But I loved it, I had ultimate freedom to go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted with baby at last minute with packing and prepping bottles etc . I would just feed before I left if I wanted to go out by myself. ExDh did everything else except feeding so he was involved. It’s just a different way…as long as the babies are fed and healthy it’s all good

Following with interest OP as due number 2
soon and was going to start a similar thread!

My first also never latched - definitely empathise with feeling like some people didn’t believe this to be the case! All of the advice I got assumed a painful latch, an inadequate latch, latching off too quickly etc - nope, DC just wouldn’t do it, it was like we were totally incompatible. Well-meaning friends and family kept telling me I shouldn’t feel guilty for stopping, when in reality we never even started. I feel so sad when I think of the first few weeks of DC1’s life and how much it affected me, and now feel anxious when I think of anything breastfeeding related.

Part of me hopes things will be different with DC2 as was @TabbyMcTattle’s experience, part of me doesn’t even want to try …

I did both with my first: poor latch, would fall asleep and not get full feeds, would refuse. I pumped and got very little, but persisted. Gave what milk I could, but of the 6 or so bottles a day, 5 would be formula. It was exhausting, but I didn't want to give up trying so pumped throughout the day, had some attempts at actual breast feeding and made up formula for 11 months.
With 2nd baby there was a good latch from the start. Gave formula only to use when I needed to pop out, otherwise breast feeding exclusively. Pumped a bit early on, but results weren't great and I just continued breast feeding and gave up any attempts to pump.

Had a couple instances of very painful engorgement likely due to a blockage, and one bleb, but luckily was able to clear it on my own with frequent breastfeeding on the clogged side and gentle pressure. It wasn't always a picnic. But, baby is still breastfeeding at 2 and I'm feeling like a bit of a hippie mum about it this time around. 😂

I agree, I managed about 3 weeks and was completely miserable!!

Not having another child but if I did it would be bottle fed 100%

I breast fed my first , but couldn’t do it for my second. Each baby is very different. I felt a huge amount of guilt about it at the time. But both dc are now in their 30s and are equally healthy and successful.

It's not an either/or. You can do both and enjoy the best of both worlds. Easy breastfeed when out and about with no need to pack bottles, but hand baby off to someone else with a bottle of formula when you want to. I massively regret that nobody told me combi feeding was an option!

My first wouldn't latch so it took nipple shields and lots of help for the first weeks. I wish I'd known I could sub in formula without messing up BF but the constant doom mongering about nipple confusion scared me off.

Second baby could latch and she got so much colostrum/breastmilk she slept 7 hour stretches by the end of her first week.