Friend ordered something from business and hasn’t paid

[SmallWorrier]

This is a really awkward situation! I recently started my own business where I sell goods that I’ve made. Im lucky it took off quickly and am managing to make it work so far. I mostly sell to strangers as I knew I’d struggle to sell and take money from friends if they ordered. These items are for children.

a couple of friends have ordered for their children and I’ve always sold them much lower than I would to strangers, not making a profit but breaking even on materials. A friend asked about ordering 3 items for her daughter for Christmas, which would usually have come to £30. I told her £10 would be ok. She took the items and her daughter got them for Christmas and has been wearing them however she didn’t pay for them. At the time I offered bank details and she said she’d pay cash. I’ve seen her a few times and last time I mentioned her daughter looked nice in what I’d made and her reply was “oh I’ll pay you at some point.” The woman is usually complaining about being skint however books nice holidays etc. I feel awkward but frustrated as I did them at a cheap price anyway and taking on her order before Christmas meant I couldn’t take on as many other ones (I only take so many a month to make sure they get done in good time and I don’t overwhelm myself). This is the reason I don’t want to take orders from friends!! I’ve asked a couple of times now with no reply. I don’t want to lose the friendship or people think ill of me by pushing it, especially in our small community. WIBU to ask again for the money or should I just let it go?

I came on to say this. Loads of pp saying it's only a tenner.

Hi friend
Can you transfer me the money please so i can pay my bill for my next lot of supplies.
Here are my details

That's all you need to do

Agree with PPs that this is not a friend - because a friend would value your skill and time in making the item (as others clearly have by declining your proffered discount).

I’m afraid I would issue a ‘full and final invoice’ with a payment due within 7 days. I wouldn’t worry about the business reputation issue because what can she say? ‘Don’t buy from this business because although my DC loves the item, the vendor got shirty when I did not pay for it?’

I’d also not give a stuff about the friendship - it isn’t one. Too many people confuse the familiarity and longitude of the child/school-based acquaintance with ‘friendship’. You will literally probably never see her again if you or she moves, if your children progress to different schools. It’s a mutually convenient relationship rooted in postcodes and children’s birth year. [Yes, I am cynical, but 20 years on I learned my lesson the hard way.]

You need to ensure that you have the money to cover costs of materials if you are to produce true and fair accounts. Don’t let her use your tenuous relationship to scam you into forgoing reimbursement.

She is not a friend. Let in go and move on. Stop doing mates rates and become tougher/ more professional.

Ask for the money and charge full price if she asks again

This entirely, business is business regardless of whether its your mate or a stranger.

She’s not a friend anymore. She won’t pay the tenner for something that should have cost her £30 😮☹️
Ask one more time for payment and then, if she doesn’t pay up, drop her.

Obviously she's blacklisted but also, you either charge full price during peak season or wait until it's quieter. Explain why and friends (proper, reasonable friends) will understand. Also don't take cash as this looks like a tax dodge and /or that your friend isn't taking your business seriously.

If you feel too awkward let it go. But don't sell or make anything for her again. When she asks, just say you are too busy with orders every time.

Think of it this way, it only costs you £10 to find out the type of person she is. If all it costs is £10, she will never ask for anything again, so you've got off cheap.

Payment in advance, always. A sad lesson but also true.

Why are you meeting for coffee with her? She owes you money.
and it’s not only £10 she owes you £30.
You need to be firmer and tougher if you want your business to work.

I have a special rate for friends - 20% but they never take it and they pay full price and beforehand! Not a single one of my friends has ever accepted the reduced rate. Ask for your money and drop her! She’s no friend.

Is it a business or a hobby that you can make some money from? If the former, then in what world does a business hand over the goods without payment?! Treat orders from friends the same as you would from strangers (even if you do want to charge them less) ie they place their order, make their payment, you hand over the goods.

You're running a business and need to act like a business woman and toughen up (in the nicest possible way).
What if you really needed that money? You would have to get it from her.
Stop the mates rates. Tell this woman to pay what she owes and dump her.
You seem too soft and she's taking advantage if you!

Payment up front in future and only a small discount that you can afford (if at all) to friends. If someone asks you again, say you've had to change your terms and conditions as you've been burned and lost out on significant money by not charging enough. Print up your terms and conditions and email them when anyone asks and make it clear you will understand if they don't want to move forward with it on those terms - no hard feelings. If you wanted to be a charity, you would be one.

The sad thing is (and I have some personal experience of this in business) if you offer things for under market value people don't appreciate it, they just expect it.

Insist on the money and definitely don't sell to her again. 3 items for £10 sounds ridiculously cheap anyway. You should put your prices up.

Yes something about closing off accounts for 2025 is a good idea.

I would never ask for mates' rates but my artist friend quietly slips a little extra in if she knows you. I've bought 5 greetings cards through her website and she's delivered 6, or I bought a print and she's added a couple of cards. It's a really nice gesture, hopefully doesn't destroy her profit and means she is only selling to friends who are not going to take the mick.

It’s not a “learning curve” (one for Pedants’ Corner”). It could be a lesson learnt though.

My friend runs a craft business. She makes things and gives them out in our friend group for free when she is:

a) trying out/learning a new medium, supplier or technique (samples)
b) has stock with a minor flaw or that she wants cleared out of her studio to make space for something she thinks will sell better
c) wants to advertise a new skill she has acquired

If we want something specific, we pay full price. It’s her business and livelihood. There are nice perks to having her as a friend, but those are on her terms. You should reconsider your mates rates, especially as £30 for 3 items seems reasonable in the first place!

I would not chase this friend, but also, she will be charged full price up front in future.

Agree with everyone else about pursuing her, but since this is something you're making at least you're covered for anything like this in future

Simply tell them you can't start work on whatever it is until you've been paid, and ignore any "Ooooo couldn't you justs ..."

I'd firmly but politely ask her for the money. Why should she get away without paying? You wouldn't order something from Argos or Amazon and not expect to pay for the item so why should this be any different? You've given your time and purchased materials!! You're entitled to the money. She's a CF to the highest order! I don't know how these sort sleep at night treating people like this.

Did you both pay for your own coffee last time you met ?
What do you make / create @SmallWorrier ?

It's horrible when friends put you in positions like this. I'd wait until you're doing something with her that costs money. When it comes to paying just say, "oh, if you get this, that'll make us even".
That's what I tend to do rather than badger someone.

Not a laughing matter.
Treat your business like a joke and others will too.

You don't need to provide justifications for being paid.