Friend ordered something from business and hasn’t paid

[SmallWorrier]

This is a really awkward situation! I recently started my own business where I sell goods that I’ve made. Im lucky it took off quickly and am managing to make it work so far. I mostly sell to strangers as I knew I’d struggle to sell and take money from friends if they ordered. These items are for children.

a couple of friends have ordered for their children and I’ve always sold them much lower than I would to strangers, not making a profit but breaking even on materials. A friend asked about ordering 3 items for her daughter for Christmas, which would usually have come to £30. I told her £10 would be ok. She took the items and her daughter got them for Christmas and has been wearing them however she didn’t pay for them. At the time I offered bank details and she said she’d pay cash. I’ve seen her a few times and last time I mentioned her daughter looked nice in what I’d made and her reply was “oh I’ll pay you at some point.” The woman is usually complaining about being skint however books nice holidays etc. I feel awkward but frustrated as I did them at a cheap price anyway and taking on her order before Christmas meant I couldn’t take on as many other ones (I only take so many a month to make sure they get done in good time and I don’t overwhelm myself). This is the reason I don’t want to take orders from friends!! I’ve asked a couple of times now with no reply. I don’t want to lose the friendship or people think ill of me by pushing it, especially in our small community. WIBU to ask again for the money or should I just let it go?

Do you mean you spent time making something for a friend, at a heavily discounted rate, instead of making items you could sell at full price? You have also not been paid and would rather let it go that demand the token amount you intended to charge?

Your business will not survive your people pleasing. You need to decide if you are trying to make a living or donating the fruits of a hobby to charity. If you wouldn't empty your bank account to give to a friend to stop them thinking badly if you why would you spend time and money on materials to achieve the same end.

I don't mean this unkindly but toughen up. People who will take your work for free are cheeky fuckers. This woman is not your friend. Stop offering mates rates.

Similar happened to me. I had to
let it go, but completely understand why you might not want to.
I would say in future do not deliver the item to them (friends or otherwise) until they have paid you.

Two of my friends are artists and sell art. I have asked both to do a painting for me years ago. I asked how much and paid, I did not ask for a discount. Surely friends should want to support their friends business? Not hinder it by getting them to work for less?

This is great.

Please do this today.

And remember you are running a business and it is no longer a hobby with a bit of Christmas bonus money. She doesn't get to pop to the supermarket and decide when she will pay them.

Also a small discount is 10-20% as pp have said, 60+% is huge and doesn't value YOU. My approach is 'if I offer you a discount please take it, but please don't ask me for one'.

Naww, what are you doing practically giving stuff away to "friends"? Try turning it around - you have a living fo make, like everyone. If someone is your friend, would they rather
a) give their money to some anonymous company making a massive profit and with a CEO who needs another yacht
Or
b) give their money to a friend, helping them get their business off the ground?

People who choose option b, without you giving them a discount, are your friends.

You have to get smart. My friend did a job for me. Correct price was £50. She asked for £40. She clearly wanted whatever I'd pay and felt awkward. I said I'd pay proper price and said I'd pay £50. She quickly accepted. I'd rather she had just said fifty in the first place tbh.

Message this thief. Say I did a job for you that should have been charged at £x. I only asked for ten as I thought we were friends. Please send it now to bank account number xx. Then never make anything for her again. If you're too soft and agree to then she pays upfront and you add on stress VAT.

She’s not a friend. She’s just someone you happen to know.

For the sake of a tenner I would leave it now, but would look on it as a good lesson in what not to do in future.

No mates rates. Your running a business

She clearly isn’t a friend but if you don’t want to lose the friendship, I’d bide my time and wait for her to request another product and say you would love to but you haven’t been paid for the last one.

hate people like this. Ultimately, you can’t trust her for anything so she’s not worth having in your life.

Message with something like "Just sorting out my accounts, and see you still owe me £10, do you want to do a bank transfer or pay me when I see you on Tuesday (specific day, not sometime)". She sounds like a CF.

In future, no "mate's rates" and payment before delivery. Explain this by saying it makes your book keeping much simpler.

See, I disagree with the posters saying they’d leave it as it’s only a tenner, don’t rock the boat, small community etc, including you, Op! My take is that this woman is perfectly prepared to screw you over for £10, when the ‘mates rates’ had already cost you the extra £20 you could have had from another customer. She clearly doesn’t care about looking unreasonable to the community by effectively stealing from you!

Agree.

This woman is a grifter. She is not your friend

Yep- I also would not just leave it. This "friend" is willing to screw you over for a tenner. Just think about that for a moment - how disgusting is that? her own friend.

I'd be emailing her my bank details pronto and asking her to pay what she owed. No apologising, no excuses or made up stories about accounts etc, - just the bald truth -she owes you the money, she should pay it.

Dont start worrying about seeming rude, she was a rude arsehole first.

She’s obvs being a CF. I’d stop doing mates rates - say your business is doing so well you don’t have time (congratulations btw!). And when you see this ‘friend’, make a point of saying how pleased you are that things are going well for your business and that strangers really like your products. Reiterate how nice her daughter looks. Say you’re happy to wait for the tenner whenever she can afford it?

YANBU, but I think you’ll have to write off the £10. Never sell to her again, and rethink your policy of selling cut price to friends. Give them a 10% discount if you feel you need to do something on ‘mate’s rates’.

And I’d be distancing myself from this so-called friend.

This. Never, ever let the item out of your sight until you have been paid. Once the person has the item payment disappears into the ether. They have what they wanted, paying for it is never going to happen.

I'd casually give her an invoice " Oh, this is for the goods - sorry it took a while for me to get it to you"
On the invoice detail the goods at full retail price and then subtract the heavy discount, 60% or whatever!

Well that was a bit of a learning curve for you! I think it’s ridiculous that you only charged £10 instead of £30 in the first place. You’re running a business not a charity!
I’d be telling her you need the money. Absolutely do not let her get away with it and stop with the mates rates!

I mean this kindly OP, but you're going to have to toughen up if you want your business to succeed.

I run a side business doing tutoring, and I often have to follow up parents for unpaid invoices, charge them for cancelling with less than 24 hours' notice without a medical certificate etc. It's awkward, and I'm someone who hates confrontation, but I've had to just learn to suck it up. I've also had friends asking for mates rates, and I've said 'no' from the outset. My time and expertise is too precious, and I have young children that I would prefer to spend my time with.

I also stop working with some families if they cause repeated issues with things like unpaid invoices and late cancellations etc.

Let it go, you learned a lesson, friends pay up front like everyone else, that applies to family too, give as a gift if you want, otherwise strictly cash.

A decent friend would want to support your new business and not just try to get things for cheap/free.

Dont run a business by being a charity to friends. Full price in future.

Pretty sure she owes money to more people in that community

No more mates rates for anyone. People order and pay the same way no matter their relationship to you. Value your own labour. If you want to make things for friends or family as gifts then do that of your own bat without expecting any payment.

For this friend I'd drop it and her.

I woukd ask her one more time for the money.
Then in future, off a friends and family discount of say 20% only if you must. Standard across everyone. Or no discount would be better.
It sounds like the items are not overly expensive at 10 quid and I would and have happily paid the full rate for items from a friends business that I want to support. I purchased a lovely painting from a friend for 130 quid at full rate as I love it so much and also growing a small business is hard. She could have sold it to someone else at full rate but I am so pleased it is mine and it means more to me as I know the artist!