Friend ordered something from business and hasn’t paid

[SmallWorrier]

This is a really awkward situation! I recently started my own business where I sell goods that I’ve made. Im lucky it took off quickly and am managing to make it work so far. I mostly sell to strangers as I knew I’d struggle to sell and take money from friends if they ordered. These items are for children.

a couple of friends have ordered for their children and I’ve always sold them much lower than I would to strangers, not making a profit but breaking even on materials. A friend asked about ordering 3 items for her daughter for Christmas, which would usually have come to £30. I told her £10 would be ok. She took the items and her daughter got them for Christmas and has been wearing them however she didn’t pay for them. At the time I offered bank details and she said she’d pay cash. I’ve seen her a few times and last time I mentioned her daughter looked nice in what I’d made and her reply was “oh I’ll pay you at some point.” The woman is usually complaining about being skint however books nice holidays etc. I feel awkward but frustrated as I did them at a cheap price anyway and taking on her order before Christmas meant I couldn’t take on as many other ones (I only take so many a month to make sure they get done in good time and I don’t overwhelm myself). This is the reason I don’t want to take orders from friends!! I’ve asked a couple of times now with no reply. I don’t want to lose the friendship or people think ill of me by pushing it, especially in our small community. WIBU to ask again for the money or should I just let it go?

Ask her for the money. And do t sell to her again.

If you're worried about your small community, I would maybe let it go. Try to take payment upfront.

If you don't want to let it go, go into detail like you have here about how it's cost you money. She doesn't sound like a friend though, sorry op.

Do you have her address? Send her an official looking invoice on headed paper with 'overdue' stamped on.

Don't be silly! People will not think I'll of you for charging for your services. "Pay you at some point" isn't good enough and I would absolutely pull her up on that. I am a small business owner myself. I sell to fiends in exactly the same way I sell to everyone else. Charge first (full price!) and then deliver the order. If I want to do something nice for a friend, I give them the item as a gift.
Don't blur the lines between friendship and business.

I wouldn't let it go.
Youve already sold yourself short and witb her saying she will pay you at some point is definitely taking the piss. Seriously.

Why would people think I'll of you for wanting to be paid what you are owed?

I would send a text saying something like 'hey, would you send me the money for ( whatever it was) Here's my bank details if you need them! Transfer suits me best. Thanks!!!

This is a learning curve. Payment secures the order.

I would be very wary of this person in future! Friends don't do that.

A lesson going forwards. No more mates rates for anyone and icon e/payment to happen before they get the item.

I would not cause a scene for ten pounds. BUT I would be fuming and this is not a friend. Never give her anything else until she has paid.

I'm sorry but your business isn't going to last very long unless you toughen up.

Stop the silly mates rates for a start. They are ridiculously low and if they were real mates, they wouldn't want to pay a lot less because they'd rather support you in your new venture.

And obviously TELL this woman that she owes your money, you gave her a stupidly big discount and you want paying now, with no more excuses.

But ultimately if you want to succeed here, you need to stop the discount nonsense.

This is how I I feel really! It’s only a tenner. But it’s my time too and the fact I lost out on doing another before Christmas order. Ahhhh ill prob just let it go

This is correct. I’ve changed a couple of
friends cost and they’ve always ignored it and given me more. It just feels so awkward to ask friends for money but you are right! It does well enough with strangers buying and I actually dread when people I know message my page.

For £10 pounds I would let it go, however in future ask for the cash up front and don't ever make anything for her again.

'Friend' is massively taking the piss.

Going forward, please don't undersell yourself. Your work is worth what you charge. If your standard rate is £30, a 15–20% friends’ discount is fair and reasonable. £10 is over 60% off and, as you've unfortunately found out with CF friend, only encourages people to take advantage.

Remember if they know you, what you're offering them (without a discount) is the security/trust they wouldn't get from a seller who they don't know.

Sometimes (especially when it's a gift for your child) that's worth more than any discount.

what a fxxking tight arsed ungrateful xxxx
who are you mother Christmas? I would feel insulted and used . This is not how you treat anyone . drop her . she doesn’t value you . nor should you her .

But it's not a tenner! A tenner is what it costs you in materials (I assume) so you are already losing money because you are not paying yourself for your time. I don't know what you make but unless it takes you less than 20 minutes, I'd say even £30 is probably not covering your costs.
But it is also the principle. She ordered something, she should pay. If you are planning to let the tenner go, I suggest you also let the friend go at the same time.

She shouldn't get away with it but it seems she has when you she's had a huge discount and repeated requests for payments.

I would send one last mail/SMS invoice and then leave it. Write it off if only to stop it bothering you but learn from the experience. Be prepared for her to ask again, CF's like her are not shy. Prepare your response. 'Sure, but I will need payment up front as you didn't pay for the last items, despite the reminders'

On a side note, don't undersell your items. Offer a standard discount, 10% or 20% to friends and family. True people who want to support you and your business will not take advantage or expect freebies.

I get it as it’s not just a tenner. I don’t like people like your “friend” its such a tramp thing to do, hate those people who cry poverty and don’t pay their bills.

I'm sorry your friend is being like this - it's really rubbish behaviour!

I agree that £10 is a small price for your reputation, but just do things differently in future. If you usually take orders online, direct friends there and given them a discount code for 20% off or something similar. That lets them feel like they've got a deal, while you still make money. Congratulations on your business doing well!

But it's not a tenner. It's £30 of sales to anyone else.

There is no way I'd let this slide when the CF has made an even greater gain than the sum she owes

Keep bringing it up until you get it. People like her rely on people like you being too embarrassed or awkward to ask for your own money.

I think mates’ rates should only come into play if the person has a long standing successful business with a huge profit margin meaning offering a discount to a friend will not affect them financially.

Any small business person, especially a startup, should be asking why their friends expect them to work for less than the going rate or at worst nothing at all. Real friends would want to support the business not take advantage of it. They shouldn’t be using the friendship for their own financial gain.

Working as you do, making the product, you haven’t only lost income on that sale you’ve lost time and profit on a sale to a genuine customer because you now have to work to replace the product your friend has effectively stolen.

Think of it as the cost of a quick but valuable lesson. But I would not want anything more to do with someone as money grabbing, disrespectful and lacking in integrity as that woman.

You need to value yourself. A small friends and family discount is not unusual. Something like 10 or 20%, but you don’t have to give any discount at all. Your time is valuable.

You can also accept barter from people you know and trust.

however, you should never exchange items without getting the money first, from anyone.

Even the concept of “mates rates” is annoying, clearly thought up by a CF who never owned a business or tried to create anything

It’s just rude - you wouldn’t ask for money out of someone else’s bank account or say someone shouldn’t get paid their wage but here you are under the premise they have to give you “mates rates”

It’s not about the money. The fact that your friend didn’t pay you even though the items were only £10 shows that she could have afforded to pay, but just didn’t give it enough thought (or doesn’t have strong ethics).
I would send her a message explaining just that, that it’s not about the money as it’s a small amount, but the fact that you spent your precious time making the items which she didn’t bother to pay you makes you feel hurt and under appreciated. Perhaps you could start the conversation with asking her if her daughter is unhappy with the items, tell her that she needs to give you honest feedback blah blah as it’s been on your mind and you don’t want to disappoint your customers, and when she responds that she does like the items that’s when you can tell her that the reason this has been on your mind was because she hasn’t paid…