Friend ordered something from business and hasn’t paid

[SmallWorrier]

This is a really awkward situation! I recently started my own business where I sell goods that I’ve made. Im lucky it took off quickly and am managing to make it work so far. I mostly sell to strangers as I knew I’d struggle to sell and take money from friends if they ordered. These items are for children.

a couple of friends have ordered for their children and I’ve always sold them much lower than I would to strangers, not making a profit but breaking even on materials. A friend asked about ordering 3 items for her daughter for Christmas, which would usually have come to £30. I told her £10 would be ok. She took the items and her daughter got them for Christmas and has been wearing them however she didn’t pay for them. At the time I offered bank details and she said she’d pay cash. I’ve seen her a few times and last time I mentioned her daughter looked nice in what I’d made and her reply was “oh I’ll pay you at some point.” The woman is usually complaining about being skint however books nice holidays etc. I feel awkward but frustrated as I did them at a cheap price anyway and taking on her order before Christmas meant I couldn’t take on as many other ones (I only take so many a month to make sure they get done in good time and I don’t overwhelm myself). This is the reason I don’t want to take orders from friends!! I’ve asked a couple of times now with no reply. I don’t want to lose the friendship or people think ill of me by pushing it, especially in our small community. WIBU to ask again for the money or should I just let it go?

Personally at £10 I’d let it go and chalk it up to experience so you A never sell to her again and B never hand over goods to anyone without being paid first. You are legally and morally entitled to continue to chase and if it was a more significant sum I’d say carry on but the time and stress it will cause will outweigh the £10 in my view.

I'd let it go but never sell to her again. She isn't your friend. Friends don't act like that. Take pre-payment for all orders from now on from everyone else. Also, I run a business and I don't give discounts for friends.

Your friend by law needs to pay for the goods/services. If you want to stay friends, you may need to let it go. But. You may have to on next time take the money first.

Tell them to order through your website that way they have to pay upfront

I'd pursue this cheeky fucker purely out of principle.

And let this be a lesson to you, no more mates rates. Value yourself, your price is the price, any true friends will respect this. Only users won't.

This would be perfect! and exactly what she deserves

You say it is awkward asking a friend for money. But she is NOT your friend. Not anymore.
But as other have said. It's NOT about the money.
She has knowingly stolen from you by withholding the even a minimal mates rates payment. She can def afford £10 for heavens sake. She is only withholding this money from you because she thinks she can. She's doing that for the thrill of getting away with this and in a way successfully controlling you into not even bothering to ask her any more. A little pathetic victory for her. She is putting you in your place - subservient to her. She's probably jealous of the fact that you have skills and are enterprising.

The other nasty thread running through her actions is that you are starting to feel obliged to give it up because you are concerned that pursuing it could damage your reputation. She knows this as well..
So you can add blackmail to the stealing from you. You feel an underlying threat that somehow insisting on being fairly paid will make the rest of the community think ill of you at a time when you want good PR to grow your business.
Not so insignificant now is it.

Don't let this pathetic thief blackmail you. Stand up for yourself and your business and your worth. You have value and so do your products. Don't let someone like this put you down.

If people try to make you feel stupid for pursuing a small amount. Tell them frankly exactly why its not just about the money.
And dump the con artist. It's highly likely that you are not the only one she's prone to taking advantage of people in your circle, asking for favours that she never returns.
People who behave like this have nothing but contempt for the people they pressurise.
It's not petty to stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid of this grifter.

I can pretty much guarantee you that if you were to fall out or if things became awkward, pretty much everyone would be on your side.
People don't like non payers. There's no excuse for it and it's shitty behaviour.
When I owned a business, someone once wrote me a shitty review saying I "hounded" her for payment.
Before I'd even seen the review, several strangers had commented asking her why I even had to ask for payment and that she was clearly in the wrong if I had to ask at all.

" just feels so awkward to ask friends for money"

You are not asking friends for money, you are offering a service, product at a price and marketing yourself which she has benefitted from. I hope your business does well for you.

I get that you now feel awkward asking them now and she very much should have sorted that payment straight away. I would let this one go for the sake of your business.

However, As per PP do not offer mates rates or discount; offer a fair price for your service and craft and stick to it on your own terms of payment.

You really need to be strong when it comes to your business, if they are friends you socialise with then that is fine but keep the business side of of it t separate (as in no mates rates, favours etc).

I wouldn't say "wondering if you could". I'd send a final invoice in writing. If she doesn't pay up, drop her. She's no friend.
And take payment in advance by bank transfer going forward, and charge the full rate.

Send her a clear text saying she still hasn’t paid, that you gave her mates rates but still need to cover the goods and your bank details as she obviously doesn’t carry cash as you are sure she would have handed it over when you last saw her

then refuse to take any more orders from her and if she asks tell her

You are running a business's. It is not a hobby. You should as k for the money. And your idea of mates rates is ridiculous. A,10% discount would be OK but not a,33% discount. You are running a business to .ake money .

If sales are taking off it might be time to invest in setting up an online ordering platform that will take payment in advance for you. Then you can point any interested friends at that, and keep an arm's length until their order is ready to complete. But it will also streamline the process for all your other business.

It isn’t really £10 though. It should be £30, but there was already a huge discount. As it stands, the OP gave that present, but her friend is taking the credit!

You must ask. Don't apologise for reminding her. Don't offer her excuses. Don't ask if she is happy with the goods. Don't offer her options for payment. If she says she'll do it online, say you'll wait while she does it.

"Hello, Anastasia, can I have that ten pounds you owe me."

Don't say please

Don't make it a question.

Don't give her an embarrassed smile.

If you have to ask again, do it in front of mutual friends.

@SmallWorriershes only done this BECAUSE you are a friend! Would she be able to buy from anywhere else, get the goods upfront and then say “I’ll pay you at some point”. Can’t see Mothercare doing that.

Yes, this. If OP is supposedly petty for pursuing 'only £10' that she is rightfully owed (never mind the actual order value), how come the 'friend' isn't petty for repeatedly refusing to pay up the 'only £10' that she owes?

If you are too uncomfortable or it feels too awkward to ask for payment for product delivered, you really shouldn't be running a business. That's what it's about. Send your payment due notice.

And stop the Mate's rates.

Yes, this would be much easier. Sometimes, the inflexibility and stubbornness of faceless machines and automation can be irritating; but sometimes, they can be invaluable in taking any pressure or awkwardness like this off you.

Obviously it's too late for this 'friend' now, but how could somebody keep a straight face in complaining about your online ordering system not working, when it's clear as day that actually paying the required amount is all that's needed to make it work! Surely people wouldn't seriously complain about a 'glitch' that expects them to pay the agreed/advertised price in order to purchase goods?!

If you need to, tell people that your accountant/accounting software insists on it for your audit trail and to prove that everything is all above board; whereas they've warned you that any kind of 'cash in hand' dealings will be automatically looked on very unfavourably by HMRC. Also, to hammer it home, "It's such a longwinded process that would take me so long to balance things off if I had to fudge it to allow for cash payments that I'd need to charge more than the standard price to cover all of the extra work! (Hahaha-not-Hahaha)".

You can always give them a discount code if you want to (ideally one that clearly expires after a short time - something like 'Jan26-20pcoff' lest they tell everybody they know/publish it on SM/otherwise exploit your generosity).

It's a horrible abuse of somebody's good nature and exploiting a one-way friendship: not only accepting them knocking 67% off their standard rate for you, but then, instead of being grateful for such a hefty discount that leaves a very small amount payable, ignoring that too because it's now a relatively small amount.

I'd write it off but a) always charge full price and b) take money upfront going forward

If you can't bring yourself to insist on payment could you at least recoup via getting her to lay for your next few coffees? Order straight after she does and says "you can get mine, work.of your debt haha!"

And please don't forget that normal good friends will be ordering of you because they are impressed and want to support your business. Give them a chance to pay a bit more, maybe just take off 10% as a gesture.

If they want to buy something from you, they pay the money first and you send it, or give it to them in person, same as it works with any other customer, whether or not you give them a discount.

Exactly how does it affect your reputation within your small community to ask for the heavily discounted cost of the items you sold her? Who would think you were being unreasonable and why? Can’t get my head around this.

I said YABU for selling at mates rates.

Don’t do this. It’s your business. All customers should pay the same. You can’t afford to reduce prices at the moment.

I would just be brazen and ask her every single time you see her for the money. And be prepared to lose this friendship because she’s not a friend and is taking the piss.

You should know your worth and never sell your work cheap ever again. I hope your business goes from strength to strength.

If giving her the items for free has led to other orders, then it’s easier in your mind to let it go. But then tell her that you have been able to write off what she owes and why. And resolve never under-sell yourself again.

Otherwise I would certainly send another reminder. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tenner or or a hundred. You must get into the habit of chasing it. It’s nothing to her and so she needs the reminder. And, ‘I’ll pay you at some point’ is extremely demeaning to you so yes, you do need to assert yourself properly, as would any other business. Can she walk out of any other shop with their goods and say ‘oh I’ll pay you at some point.’
Dear friend, I’m finishing off my admin and am still missing the amount you owe me for materials for 3 items. I know £10 is only a small amount but I still need to balance my books. Thanks for your attention to this. My bank details are….

The more you do this sort of follow-up, the better you will feel about yourself and your business. Good luck !