Wasn't allowed to use disabled toilet despite the fact no other toilet was available. AIBU?

[fakenamefornow]

Seaside town with beach that stretches about 1.5 miles away from town centre with just flats and houses facing beach, ie no pubs or cafés that might let me use the toilet. It's about 10am rainy January morning, nobody else about apart from about two/three people and dogs on the beach.
Half way along on seafront is a public toilet block. Both mens and womens shuttered up and locked. Disabled toilet, locked, had a phone number to call for remote access so they could let people in. Called number and despite me pleading that I was desperate for the loo (I was) and pointing out no others available, I was refused absolutely point blank access because I wasn't disabled.
I don't think this is fair at all, but what do others think?
YANBU - she should have let you in.
YABU - no way should she have let you in regardless of how much you needed the loo.

Of course it's a public toilet. The opposite of public is private and that would need a register.

Unless there is a register with names, addresses, and photo ID then it's for the public with special needs.

If the beach only offers normal loos and a changing places loo where are people who don't need the full kit in a changing places loo supposed to go?

eg someone with a stoma bag or in a wheelchair but who doesn't need a hoist and table?

Thank you, I am not sure where the Sunday came from, must have been a Freudian slip! Nevertheless, I think that the right decision was made, in this instance.

The basic issue is that councils are not happy to fund public toilets.
They cut back on facilities in winter or close them altogether.

I know a town that used to have 3 lots of clean toilets on the sea front and now there is only one, at least a mile away from the far end of the beach.
People now use Morrisons which is nearby.

It's dehumanising to ask people to phone up and justify why they need to use that loo, and besides, what if someone ran out of battery, had poor phone reception, wasn't confident using a mobile phone, etc? The whole system needs looking at.

Call me a bad person, but in these particular circumstances I would have just said I have a disability that means I need access. It sounds like you have continence issues and weren't going to inconvenience anyone by using that loo quickly.

Well that is a problem, but it's not Changing Places' problem to solve by changing their specific remit.

My DH bought a radar key from Amazon because he has had incurable but treatable cancer for 8 years and the drugs he had to be on for the rest of his life cause diarrhoea and sickness, often at very short notice, and usually almost every day. But he's not eligible for disability benefits nor a blue badge. So in your World, would you "deem" him worthy of using a disabled loo??

Well, of course, someone going on a 20 mile hike across the Moors wouldn't expect to find a public loo. But that's completely different to someone having a walk on the promenade of a major seaside resort where it's a reasonable expectation to find public toilets!

The radar keys are free you can get them for a number of organisations supply them, i know he has bought it now but he didn't need to buy it iyswim, has he applied for a BB he doesn't need to be on any benefit to get one just supply evidence, it is a faff but it might be worth applying again.

I already said in my next reply that personally I'd be fine with people like your DH getting them. Go back and read it before you start frothing about 'my World'.

"Now security let people in when they need it & only people who specifically need the hoist & changing table are given access. "

There are other reasons for requiring a changing place. Multiple carers for example. Standard accessible toilets don't have the space.
Also all the changing places we have used with ds, have a toilet in them.

'The dictatorial posts here make Iran look like a nice place to live'

What an appalling thing to say, do you watch the news have you seen they are executing people there?

We don't get to use specific facilities designed for those with disabilities when we are caught short. Use other public toilets like everyone else and if they were locked as they indeed all all in in winter then plan better. Do better.

I think from 1 human being to another i could not deny someone the use of a toilet in this situation. I know someone who has no disability or diagnosed bowel issues but was in the middle of town. I really don't want to and won't give more details but let's just say it was humiliating and distressing for that person. How can another human being not empathise with needing to use a toilet if suddenly taken ill or you may have already hung on for a few hours as it is.

Because if they let everyone access specialised facilities for the disabled it means when disabled people need them they are in use.

We can all empathise with anyone caught short but there is a Tesco, M&S or Costa on every high street or retail park. Toilets are readily available.

More fool you for being honest.

Sorry, didn't mean to quote you. Was referring to the OP who didn't need to be honest about not having a disability. Needs must.

But this wasn't a high street or retail park, it was a beach front, with no open toilets. I've frequently encountered places where all were locked except the accessible toilet, usually with a radar key lock, so as a wheelchair user I can use it. And as I've said before in this thread, if someone turned up at the same time, disabled or not, I'd let them in after me, because before an accident left me in a wheelchair, I was - still am - a post menopausal mother of three, who's known what it's like to be desperate for the loo - and no, there isn''t always another toilet open five minutes away (spot the city and large town dwellers on this thread). Able- bodied or otherwise, answering the call of nature with dignity is a human right that everybody should be afforded. I'm not about policing other people's bladders or bowels.

A sea front is not on a retail park.

How you you post comments like this?

I have actually stopped going to a seafront because there are no toilets, although there is a cafe which says the loo is not for public use - so yes, happy to buy something WHEN IT IS OPEN, but it's down to councils to be more thoughtful and spend money.

I have reason to use a disabled toilet and would hate to have to tell a stranger my private medical information like that! I also have a 9 year old autistic child who occasionally soils himself if he heard me saying he’s disabled and I need to clean him up on the phone he would have a mother of all meltdowns from the shame.

i find this a lot I get questioned about son’s disability if I use a carer ticket for attractions etc the DLA letter isn’t enough they feel it’s acceptable to question a person’s disability often when there is a line of people behind to hear the answers. It’s like the disabiled don’t have the same rights to privacy and dignity everyone else has

YANBU

There is no law and Nothing in building regs that states a disabled, or more accurately, an accessible toilet is just for disabled people

I would complain that the local council are discriminating against people but more importantly
if
they are going to provide public toilets and
if they are going to put numbers up for some people then they need to do it for all!

@LadyTangerine
accessible toilets are designed so that people who need them have the extra add ons that they need
They are not for exclusive use however…just available if needed
There is no law against using an accessible toilet
Its not the same as a car parking space

Great post

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/changing-places-toilets-for-severely-disabled-people-to-be-compulsory-in-new-public-buildings

It does make a difference that it's a Changing Places toilet.

The fault lies with the decision to close all the other toilets, not the one to protect these very expensive specialist facilities for the people they're intended for.

We've just done the fundraising for one. £100k plus. It would be nice to think you can let everyone use it an everything would be fine, but we know differently.

There is still a lot of people assuming that a Changing Places facility is an accessible toilet. It isn’t. It is specifically kitted out for people with special need for extra equipment like hoists. They need to be checked and cleaned after each user to ensure they are ok for people with those special needs to use. Please read up on them. They are not ‘toilets’. And they most definitely are not for people who are caught short.

Agree
The fault does lie in the other toilets being closed

as
a changing places facility relies on exclusion because those that don’t ‘need’ it can use other facilities
If there aren’t any then by its own definition the council are falling foul of the requirements

A CP facility is supplementary to other facilities and that is very clear in building regs
not instead of
and not only
Failure to provide for all is discriminatory

This. We have a changing places near us, we have a radar key to access. My child is disabled wheelchair user and uses the facilities. It has a hoist, changing bed, shower etc. my non disabled friend bought herself a radar key so her and the kids could use the toilet while at a nearby park. It is minging in there, the regular toilet is never flushed, there's piss on the floor, and the hoist has been vandalised. So now people who genuinely can't use any other toilet because of their disability, have to deal with that shit, because plenty of non disabled people buy radar keys off of Amazon.

In OPs case it was the only toilet available

If however there are other facilities including disabled available then I agree people shouldn’t use it