When I see a man start a thread about his wife I know it’s going to be about lack of sex

[Freepaintjob]

Pretty much every-time.

Will start with I don’t feel close anymore, she seems distant… blah blah blah. We’re not having regular sex like we did 5 years ago before we had 2 children and she had to carry everything.

They need to start a thread before it reaches that point. I feel like the woman could be on her knees with stress, hair falling out, no sleep but as long as he is getting regular sex then he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t look at the bigger picture just cares about the lack of sex.

Please go and have a look at some of the recent threads that are started by men.

Slightly off point, but something I find pretty revolting on Mumsnet are the crude references to a man ‘getting his willy wet’ as a description of sex (see posts above).

I am lucky enough to have a fulfilling and life enhancing sexual relationship. It’s about sexual pleasure, and closeness, and laughter, & jokes. The ‘getting his willy wet’ wording is so indicative of a crude, & reductive & negative approach to sex - completely at odds with the joy that it can bring- that seems increasingly pervasive on mumsnet, very unusual in real life, and very unhealthy. It’s basically reducing sex to an animal function, which I find really unpleasant.

I do think this very negative, sex hating response evidently feeds into the responses given to posters - of either sex - who complain about a lack of sex in their relationship. And I suspect a really sad & unhealthy approach to sex is being normalised for some posters.

My husband did this and turns out he does 70% of the work needed to run the home.

Wish I'd not bothered!

Because they no longer desire sex with him, because he’s become an annoyance and an extra child. It’s a safe bet to say they’ve probably still been having sex to keep the peace, not because they wanted to. Eventually even that can become too much and stop even that.

But for most, it just happens because you’re too damn tired and overwhelmed.

Why do men have to lurk on Mumsnet , I find it creepy . Can't we have anything to ourselves

In the context of a thread about men feeling short changed because their (exhausted, overwhelmed, pissed off) wife no longer lets him have sex with her, phrases like ‘dry dick’ etc are completely appropriate. These men are reducing their spouses to sex objects, they are fine with having sex with an unwilling person, as long as they are still having sex. It’s not a loving mutually fulfilling sexual connection, they just want to be allowed to fuck the person they think they are entitled to. It is crude and basic and distasteful.

Always. It’s so utterly predictable.

I was surprised to see just how many men are posting on there (the ones who are open about it.)

Creepy.

I think the point of those posts sailed over your head. (The context certainly did.)

This.

I just wish they would fuck off from Mumsnet. I'm not a man hater, far from it but this is for women. I've not felt the same about it since I've noticed them on here. If my hubby was on here I would think what the actual fuck? Fuck off with your little boy pleas and start your own site. And if you're on here wanting advice about your wife etc from other women how fucking degrading to your wife. We're not here to help you understand women, try understanding us yourselves FFS.

Thank you. I rarely look on Relationships. Not least because AIBU is swilling with stuff that should be there, so no need.

I can say the same about some of the women posters.

Yep, anytime a man comes here to post about his relationship problems, I wait for the ‘I’m not getting any sex’ statement.

So predictable.

I always wish I could hear his partner’s side of the story.

As soon as I read a post that starts ‘man here’ or similar, I read no further.

And sometimes it’s not announced first thing but becomes obvious pretty soon.

💯

Thankfully, I’m sure my DH would rather eat soggy cold cabbage, than go on mumsnet.

Every single time. Its beyond tedious the one track mind.

😂

I love this. Let's do it!

😄 Mine too! It would probably give me the ick that can't be unicked!

It’d be an LTB situation 😂

Men seem to think sex will solve all their problems. Like the incels-they hate women and don't want any female company (except sex) then cry about being lonely. Apparently a 10 minute roll in the hay would solve all their issues-who knew!

I do feel a tiny bit sorry for the men who have been needed sex-wise all the time their partner wanted kids then once their family is complete she suddenly decides she doesn't need to have it ever again because it's of no use to her anymore. Those men must feel a bit used. More fool them for falling for it though.

End of the day if men weren't so obsessed with sex the human race probably would've died out.

I also see a few posts from women who are no longer interested in intimacy with their partners. They haven't identified a specific reason that they're not interested.They just aren't interested.

I recall a recent post from a woman whose husband expressed that he wasn't happy in the relationship she somehow seemed surprised but then went on to say that they were having intimacy. Maybe twice a month or it might have just been a few times a year to be fair.

Most people who responded did say that that wasn't much and they didn't really blame him. It seemed that over the years they were mostly having sex when she wanted to have another child.

I also note that when a man isn't interested in sex, people suggest he needs to have his testosterone levels checked. Like that's the only reason he may not be interested.

I had two DDs under two and my exH complained bitterly about our lack of sex. He barely lifted a finger to help with anything. He resented all the effort I made for our DDs. None of which turned me on! I was exhausted, overwhelmed and his demands just gave me an ick I could never get over …

Pahahaha thank you for making me laugh whilst I’m half dead/awake breastfeeding my baby 🤣

I see a lot of threads from women complaining about lack of sex. So maybe it’s a people thing