Called an ugly cow by a child

[Happilyobtuse]

Dd is 9, a boy in her class insulted me and told her I was an ugly cow. She cried as she was so upset at him saying hurtful things about me. She told me in the evening and I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously. I am asian though so I think he was singling me out as I am obviously different from others. His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me. I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others! And if he continues, to tell her class teacher. Is there anything else I should be doing?

This sort of thing is often a good opportunity to teach our daughters not to care or be interested when a man comments on our appearance. This boy called the OP an ugly cow because he wanted a reaction - and he got it (the daughter cried, the OP is really quite annoyed). If the OP had genuinely not given a shit about what this child said then perhaps that would have been a bit healthier.

Those random men who make comments to women didn’t pop out of nowhere - they learnt to do this much earlier. Women who are genuinely indifferent to whether a strange man thinks they are attractive don’t feed their need for attention.

You all need to learn some lessons here.

Boy was rude but he's a kid so should eventually learn some manners. Go to the teacher if you want to deal with this.

Your daughter will hopefully realise as she matures that it's not really tactful to share insults with the 'insultee'. Would have been better if she'd shared with her other parent, if there is one.

You are probably too old to learn that it's nasty describing people as very very fat, with turkey teeth, fake tan, etc (whether it's true or not), and a child as very very ugly. Sigh.

He is a child. You are an adult.
Please, grow up and stop teaching your child to retaliate with even more nastiness.

You may be good looking on the outside ( so you say) but the inside needs some work.
why is what you said any better than what a 9 year old has said to your daughter? A child? Who may or may not be a bit of a rougue at school but he’s 9 he has the capacity to grow and learn that calling people names is not acceptable or he might not. Blaming his mother is hardly fair he’s said one wrong thing (not at all condoning that behaviour) and you’ve physically annihilated him and his mum. She might be a lovely mum struggling with him at the moment or just hasn’t realised he’s being rude at school.

What is going after her looks achieving? Did it make you feel better? Do you not feel like you’ve sunk to the same level as a @ year old and done the same thing to the mother. Speak to the teacher, your daughter was upset the teacher cannot help if they don’t know what is being said. Perhaps rise above it a bit and don’t get so personal. It certainly wouldn’t be the lesson I taught my children.

'well, he started it' 😂well, I'm finishing it, OP, you are nob!

You sound just as bad, if not worse. Making remarks about a child's looks and his mum's (who hasnt done anything to you) looks and figure. Maybe the 'ugly' he was referring to was your personality.

I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously.

His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me.

I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others!

Wow.

Well aren't you a delight?

You would be far better off teaching your daughter to have some resilience. Why on earth did she cry!
Instead of giving your daughter words to fight back, give her words to take out the insult - for example “Yes, but she is my ugly cow!”

Best be dismissive of the boy and the comment or deal with it via school, so your DD can learn to be the same

I think you are overthinking this massively. Its not about you. The kid is just a little shit looking for attention.

Why are you dragging his mum in to it calling her fat? I'd imagine that as she's probably a normal person she'd not be happy her son calling anyone names, doesnt need you piling in on her weight.

You dont come across well here.

Whilst not taking it to heart, the kid should be taken to task

OP I have read all your posts and it seems that this child is a bully and a racist and that explains your anger at the child and maybe indirectly the parents. I am appalled at the number of people who think this is acceptable language for a 9year old. If it was my child and they dared to speak about an adult using that language they would be grounded for a long time. Parents need to realise that if they just say “kids will be mean”, “cheeky git” etc and minimise the nasty comment the child made he will go on to later call his partner such choice words. This should and must be nipped in the bud.

I suggest asking for a meeting with the teacher and recording it all on email too. In case of further occurrences you will have proof to take the school to task. Kids like these rarely stop quickly as they are inherently bullies. Also encourage your daughter in the first instance to ignore, if they continue complain to the teacher and if it goes on to tell you so you can escalate the matter to the head teacher.

This is excellent advice. OP, when you see the teacher, make sure you explain at the outset that the child is very ugly and that his mother is fat and has turkey teeth.

Is this racism OP ? If you suspect racism I would definitely let the school know.
I feel people have unnecessarily come for you in this post also.