Called an ugly cow by a child

[Happilyobtuse]

Dd is 9, a boy in her class insulted me and told her I was an ugly cow. She cried as she was so upset at him saying hurtful things about me. She told me in the evening and I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously. I am asian though so I think he was singling me out as I am obviously different from others. His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me. I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others! And if he continues, to tell her class teacher. Is there anything else I should be doing?

You should speak to your child's teacher and explain how it affected your DD and you...they will speak to the child and hopefully his parents too. Please don't tell your Dd to be rude back as it will only get her into trouble with teachers.

looked at the child, I looked at the Mum, and thought wow you taught them well didn’t you?

Did you really think that about a primary school child saying those things?

From the sound of it, you're teaching your child well so are you going to take it like a knife to your parenting heart if/when your child says something you didn't teach them?

Part of growing up is saying stupid hurtful things and (hopefully) learning the consequences.

It can have absolutely nothing to do with how brilliantly their parents are raising them.

In the area I live in, yes, I did think that. As it’s a common issue that I’ve encountered in public to date since the age of 13, by adults and kids alike. Again, thought, not said. And again, water off a ducks back, not a “knife to my parenting heart” that’s ridiculous! I think most parents try to instill a level of common decency in their kids and if they found out they’d been making horrible comments then they’d have a chat with them about their behaviour. Is that wrong?
As for “(hopefully) learning the consequences” - how would you suggest the kids I’m mentioning might have learned any consequences? It didn’t bother the parents.
DD has been out of primary school for 4 years and to my knowledge hasn’t made a point of making a horrible judgemental comment to anyone. If she did and I was told, she’d be rightly pulled up by the bootstraps too.

I don't suppose you could stop by the classroom and slap him?

I wouldn’t worry about what he said. He probably wasn’t referring to your looks at all, but your character.

He's a nine year old. They say dumb stuff all the time. Move on.

It's a cosmetic dental procedure carried out in Turkey.
They're generally dazzling white.

Is there anything else I should be doing?

Yes - acting like an adult.

Children can be horrible, but two wrongs don't make a right and criticising someone else's weight with your daughter is horrific, what kind of message are you sending her regarding body image?

You can make her resilient by ignoring the childish comments, not retaliating...

I voted YABU because while the boy was obviously wrong and rude you're actually more immature than he is with your post. Calling a 9 year old ugly and his mother fat etc is a weird reaction and OTT.

And frankly I have no idea what you are looking for from mumsnet, to validate that yes he is ugly and you're beautiful because you're an ex model???

Wow you're doubling down and missing the point.

Can't you see how childish and ridiculous you are? Arguing "he started it" with a 9 year old.....

Looks like healthy teeth to me 😂

Tbh OP you sound quite a nasty person with how you’ve described the child and his mother.

The boy is 9 and is wrong but you are a grown adult and have said much worse.

You’re as bad as the child. You’re a grown adult throwing around playground insults about both him and his mother. The child has clearly touched a nerve for you to be hurling retaliatory insults and writing a thread on here. You sound very insecure and it looks worse on you if anything.

I would pay no mind to it and tell your DS to ignore or tell the child firmly to stop. If it carries on, report to the teacher. Nothing else needs doing at this stage.

Some of these replies are a bit uncalled for but yeh, your response was juvenile and weird. He’s a kid. You don’t teach children to insult others.

Errr this is bizarre? He's a 9 year old boy, they can generally be rude little shits. What he and his mother look like have no bearing on this situation and it's bizarre that you have those made comments on their appearance - makes you no better than a 9 year old boy yourself.

I get your DD was upset. But I think your "advice" was crap. She could tell the teacher that this boy is insulting her mother (though I appreciate no one likes a grass) or even just say "I don't care what you think, you mean nothing to me" and leave it at that. If you really do think its a problem with racism that this kid has then escalate it with the school, but as I say, 9 year old boys are horrible and he would probably call you and ugly cow if you looked like Cindy Crawford.

This can’t be for real. OP sounds unhinged 😂

This is very childish. You don't seem to have left the school playground yet yourself.

You teach your child resilience, and to rise above this sort of childish twattery rather than engage with it by stupid name-calling.

You have made some very personal comments about the appearance of this child's mother and people are rightly pulling you up on it because it sets such an appalling example to children.

You are supposed to be an adult. Act like one.

sounds like a Troll post

I mean to you you are pretty ok looking but to others you might be ugly . Doesn’t give him any right to say it to your children but you can’t go around saying you’re beautiful and calling other mums .

How are you any better when you're response is to tell your dd to insult a child?

Just let it go, he's 9 and doesn't know any better.

But you're an adult and being intentionally nasty about both a child and another adult.

You don't sound particularly pleasant yourself and telling your daughter to insult him is dreadful parenting.

It is possible the lad has magical powers that only allow him to see the beauty inside.

Sounds like you both have a lot in common!