Called an ugly cow by a child

[Happilyobtuse]

Dd is 9, a boy in her class insulted me and told her I was an ugly cow. She cried as she was so upset at him saying hurtful things about me. She told me in the evening and I had a laugh because he is a very very ugly looking child! And I am a good looking fit woman who has modelled previously. I am asian though so I think he was singling me out as I am obviously different from others. His own mother is very fat and much much bigger than me. I have told Dd to tell him with a face like yours I wouldn’t go around insulting others! And if he continues, to tell her class teacher. Is there anything else I should be doing?

Oh give over.

We can all bring our children up to be lovely, polite kids but now and again, they still do and say not very nice things because they're CHILDREN.

Don't pretend every single child who says something horrible or silly has bad parents.

It's all part of growing up.

But you should have grown up by now, so you have no excuse to be slagging off the mum for her weight.

Especially considering you've been struggling with your own for quite some time, haven't you?

I would be telling the class teacher what's happened myself and ask them to keep an eye on it and keep them seperate as much as possible. However encouraging DD to swoop to this boys level is never going to end well 1. Because she'll end up in trouble herself and 2. She's going to grow up thinking that behaviour is alright as Mum told her to do it.

Did you really just say "He started it"?

Jesus, are you sure you're the mother of this girl?

It sounds more likely that your 9 year old daughter is using your account.

By the way, what do turkey teeth look like?I am genuinely interested because I have never seen them.🤷‍♀️

Your DD has 2 options. Ignore him, or tell the teacher. Throwing back insults is not a great example to set, and your daughter is likely to end up in trouble.

The irony is you have told her to insult him too. I’d say a better approach might be to teach your child that confidence comes from within, not because you might be better looking than another person (which is subjective anyway) and that it is unimportant what others say about you.

Arguably, those that seek many treatments as you disdainfully describe the boys mother as having sought, might be considered to be amongst the most insecure about their natural looks, something which your own daughter might well grow up feeling if you focus so heavily on looks? Surely it’s better to teach her that cruel comments from others are irrelevant to one’s happiness.

I like to teach my children not to pass comment on people’s bodies, or anything else that cannot be changed in less than a minute - you might point out kindly for example that someone has something stuck in their hair but you don’t need to point out that they are fat. Rising above a comment by giving the bully no response or laughing it off, will have much more of an effect than trying to point score by getting a cruel remark in in retaliation. Teach your child to be the bigger person, no pun intended.

I didn't even know turkeys had teeth - pretty sure they don't.

Same here!I might search it up and see what they look like.

Ew. What a vile woman you are. I feel sorry for your daughter if she’s being brought up to be so nasty and judgemental about another woman’s looks .. all because a 9 year old boy insulted you

OP you sound like you can serve up a perfect roast and a few trimmings too without any input from anyone else

This is vile. The way you are speaking about this woman is digusting. The only thing you are teaching your child is that looks are everything and kindness counts for nothing. You have allowed a kid to unnerve you but what you said is 100 times worse. Honestly if this is how you talk about other people, I'm afraid your personality is ugly.

Also this a 9 year old silly boy, you are an adult. Rise above this. Show your daughter that you can be mature, explain what he said was unkind and then move on

The OP struggles with her weight.

That's why this child hit a nerve with her and why she unleashed such a vile diatribe on his mum, who for all we know could be lovely and bringing her DC up to be polite and respectful.

Just because kids can be not very nice during an argument, obviously doesn't mean they aren't being brought up correctly.

This doesn't excuse the OP obviously, but I think that's where it's coming from and why she's still up and fretting about the throwaway words of a 9 year old child.

While one might privately think that both the boy and the mother are unfortunate looking, I don't think encouraging your child to tell the boy that he's ugly is really the way to go. You're almost certainly not ugly on the outside so I'd just let it go. You could tell the teacher I suppose but really, is it important?

You've seriously jumped the shark there!

Not you getting your ego so badly bruised by a nine year old that you need to point out how ugly he is and how hot and fit you are in comparison lmao that's not screaming insecure at all.

Like maybe next time don't stoop to the level of a nine year old.

He’s nine, what are you planing on doing, beat him up, steal his lunch money, tell him your dad is bigger than his?

He started it?!!! He's fucking 9 you absolutely dingbat. Are you actually listening to yourself??

You have literally just told your child to do the exact same? I suppose telling them to just insult the child is better though ay

Your DD has plenty to work with there 😅
The other kid needs to learn that if hes gojng to go round throwing insults at other kids mums, hes going to get it back in spades.
Might make him think before he opens his big gob 😅

OK.
You handle it by telling your DD that what the boy said was unkind but that she shouldn't believe nasty remarks like that. And to tell the boy he's wrong. Also mention it to the teacher if he doesn't stop.

You Don't tell her to behave the same way and insult his parents in retaliation, or where will it end? The fact that you are talking about his parents in the same vein, is a poor attitude to display to your child.

Explain to her that Insulting people because of how they look is one step away from discrimination.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder isn't it?

Kids usually repeat what they’ve heard.

How’s your relationship with the boy’s ’turkey teeth, lip filled, tanned, obese’ mother?

Hope you didn’t say any of this description to your child as kids have a tendency to repeat? 😬

My DD had similar in primary school. Eee your Mum’s a goth. Eee your Mum’s an emo. I looked at the child, I looked at the Mum, and thought wow you taught them well didn’t you? I would never comment negatively on someone else’s appearance, though mine seems to be open to judgement by silly minded people. I taught DD that it’s a problem with the person who spouts such nonsense, not any reflection on her or me. I’m a big girl, water off a ducks back. If things get directed at my child herself though I pull it up immediately with school and nip it in the bud.

Ive been called a lot worse than an ugly cow op, by adults.
Called alot worse than that on mumsnet.
Let it go, if your offended by a 9 year old kid wait for the teen years.

well hello there

Never mind it's there.