How would you feel if your partner wanted a career that you didn’t want him to have

[Daisychain67]

I’ve been with my partner since we were teenagers (now 29) and his ultimate dream has always been to be a famous rapper, I’ve known this since I first met him but was obviously really young back then and thought it was ‘cool’.

We’ve got an 8yo daughter together and the older I have got the more mature I have got and the more I just want a quiet life with my family, no fame, no dramas, just me and my family. We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

I heard him earlier today in the shower and some of his lyrics were about women and how they basically want him and how attractive they are, I’ve told him before that I’m not comfortable with things like that but it’s always brushed off and I’m told if I don’t like it leave him. I haven’t said anything to him yet as I’m not sure whether to or not.

I’m just not sure if this is what I want but I love him and want him to do what he loves. Am I being unreasonable as I’ve known this is what he’s always wanted for a long time?

Respectfully, I really don’t think you have to worry about him getting a career you don’t want him to have. Sounds like he’s never grown up… unless you’re about to tell us that he has an agent and a tour booked.

he’s cheated - that’s reason enough to leave. Does he pay bills or is he a struggling artist too?

you deserve more

Let me guess - he’s a great dad right? 🙄

Is there any chance of him ‘making it’? Is he starting to earn money with his music, or at least gaining momentum?

While he’s dreaming of being a rapper, does he have an actual job? Is he contributing to the household or are you supporting his dream?

He has told you to leave if you don’t like his path, so why does it matter if you want him to have the career or not?
Your question surely is whether you should stay with a man who doesn’t respect you?

This.

I know of a woman who is trying to make it as a pop star at the age of 32, out of nowhere. She has a 1 year-old baby that she’s the primary carer of and no history of singing, although she did go to dance school. I wish her the best of luck and admire her for trying, but I can’t imagine thinking I can become successful in an obscenely competitive industry in my 30s with no history/background. How great it must be to be that delusional….!

29 and wants to be a rapper..... LOL.

I agree with others, it doesn't sound like the rapping is the issue.

Whizz him out the window.

I know it's not laughing matter but I did laugh at how ridiculous he is.

Let him rap off down the road.

He sounds like the male version of Honey G.

He sounds like a turd, frankly.

Also if he was going to have a ‘career’ as a ‘rapper’ 🤣 he’d have it by 29. That ship has sailed.

They always are aren't they, these deadbeats?

Please send the rap!! to him and tell us the response.

Be sure to print that verse out and pop it in his lunchbox/strategically drop on bathroom floor, or somesuch

Indeed.

This in spades.

You’ve been with him since you were very young, so you’re a blind to what a crap man he is (or sounds like) through lack of experience.

He cheats, is mean to you and tells you to leave him if you share an opinion he doesn’t like - none of this is good,

There is also something deeply tragic about an almost 30-year old man believing he is going to be a famous rapper. Incredibly unlikely, innit?

Please tell me this man child has a day job?

If he did , by some miracle, make it big as a rapper, do you think for one minute he’d stay with you?

I feel like I've heard this before.

Reminds me that f that old meme…

Whenever I’m having a bad day I just remember that somewhere, someone I went to school with is still trying to make it as a rapper.

Is he contributing to the family finances - or are you supporting his pipe dream all these years?
Wanting to be a famous rapper - is not a career choice. It's a dream. If he hasn't made much progress toward realising that dream by 29 - it's not hugely likely to happen, as you probably know.
So - in your case - I'd not get hang up on the lyrics he raps in the shower. I'd be looking at your family budget and cutting off supporting the aspiring raper.

LOL

He sounds like an immature twat. Unless he's actively making money now he hasn't got a hope in hell of doing it now.

Given his less than stellar behaviour to date I'd be seriously giving the relationship serious consideration. How much does he contribute, both financially, practically and emotionally to your lives?

We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

When you say you love him do you really? Or are you just used to saying that? If we’re not careful we do tend to believe our own shit. I only ask because you don’t seem to like him (and I don’t blame you, he sounds awful). You’d be doing your DD a huge favour by ditching him and getting her out of this ridiculous environment.

Poor child with a misogynistic twit as a father.
He sounds like a deluded narc.
Cut your losses.
Your daughter deserves better and so do you.

Yep this is key honestly - I wouldn’t care about singing in the shower (I often sing along to inappropriate songs, doesn’t mean anything).

I would care deeply about the cheating, and would also care if DH was basically a deluded cocklodger refusing to get a job in case he made it big one day. Both of those are worthy of slinging him out.