How would you feel if your partner wanted a career that you didn’t want him to have

[Daisychain67]

I’ve been with my partner since we were teenagers (now 29) and his ultimate dream has always been to be a famous rapper, I’ve known this since I first met him but was obviously really young back then and thought it was ‘cool’.

We’ve got an 8yo daughter together and the older I have got the more mature I have got and the more I just want a quiet life with my family, no fame, no dramas, just me and my family. We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

I heard him earlier today in the shower and some of his lyrics were about women and how they basically want him and how attractive they are, I’ve told him before that I’m not comfortable with things like that but it’s always brushed off and I’m told if I don’t like it leave him. I haven’t said anything to him yet as I’m not sure whether to or not.

I’m just not sure if this is what I want but I love him and want him to do what he loves. Am I being unreasonable as I’ve known this is what he’s always wanted for a long time?

We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

Just dump him. He's not going to be famous and he sounds dreadful! It takes more than shouting shit about women to be a rapper. He's getting on a bit in years, too, to make it in the music industry.

Well YABVU to stay with someone who cheats and is horrible to you. I’d be less interested in his pipe dream than his past and current shitty behaviour and disrespect. Don’t you think you deserve better? If your daughter was dating someone like him in future would you be pleased for her or a bit revolted?

I think the problem is he’s been unfaithful. Songs can just be for entertainment but it does seem to say something about his state of mind from what you’re saying.

Does he have a normal job? I think it’s fine to have dreams but if you have a family you have to put them first.

Well, he's not going to have a career as a famous rapper, is he? So your dilemma is actually "How would you feel if your partner was a juvenile, sexist twat?"

Can he actually rap? Has he ever done anything to try and make a go of it?

Honestly, I would find this hilarious and ridiculous, unless he is actually the new Eminem....

He’s not going to be a famous rapper. This is not the problem. (Clue: he’s a cheating twit).

I think you’ve answered your own question there. Sorry but he’s pathetic. He is not going to be a ‘famous rapper’. Walk out.

I work in the music industry. I’ve met hundreds of men like him. Trust me, there is a greater chance of Trump declaring he was born a woman than him becoming famous. I would suggest you take his advice and leave, he sounds an utter dick.

This

We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes.

What with that and the misogynistic lyrics, why the effin' hell are you with him? 🤷
Jesus H effing Christ!

‘If you don’t like it, leave’

he is hardly fighting for you is he

In fact "if your partner was a juvenile, sexist twat who was openly unfaithful to you"?

I know that I'd tell him to get fucked and build a happier family life for myself and my DD without him. But your call.

I’m sorry to use ChatGPT in a flippant, resource-wasting way, but sometimes it comes up with the perfect answer 😌🎤

You talk big bars, but you live off lies,
Claim you on the come-up, but I don’t see the rise.
While you chase groupies, I was holding you down,
Now you just another mixtape nobody found.

You said “don’t like it? Leave!,” and you stay off beat,
Can’t stay faithful, can’t stay making rent or heat.
I’m the realest verse you’ll never get back,
I evolved - meanwhile you still blaming the track.
Mic check: I’m gone, no encore, no plea,
I’m platinum in real life, you SoundCloud-free. 🔥

If he's been unfaithful I wouldn't be particular angst ridden about his "dream". You probably had a dream, one that involved a nice bloke who didn't sleep with other women or tell you to leave. He failed to achieve that dream too. Let him practice his art in his own shower, in his own flat, completely by himself.

When I saw the title I thought we'd be talking about something potentially dangerous like police/fire or something that meant he'd be away a lot like a pilot...not a sodding 'famous rapper'! It's funny but pretty tragic with it. The advice of 'leave him' gets bandied about far too readily on here but he does sound like a total waste of space.

I wouldn't worry about it he's not going to be a famous rapper, not in this lifetime.

Ok I voted YABU because I thought the question was “AIBU to stay with this absolutely embarrassing twat”.

To be clear - I am cringing from afar, please leave this cheating, sexist, fart and no poo of a human. You and your daughter are actual people in their own rights, you both deserve a happy, secure and humiliation free life

A famous rapper 🤣

We’ve had a really up and down relationship, he’s been unfaithful to me in the past and mean and is very ‘me me me’ sometimes
Surely this is the issue. You have low self esteme and poor boundaries. You don’t feel worthy of a decent partner.

Have him leave.

I’m dead😂 this has actually cheered me up thank you 😂😂

Does he have a rapper name and is it MC Grindah?!

'I’m just not sure if this is what I want but I love him and want him to do what he loves. Am I being unreasonable as I’ve known this is what he’s always wanted for a long time?'

Well, you've given us reasons not to love him and why he doesn't love you so now tell us why you love him.....

Is this actually likely to happen? Does he actually do any sort of gigs etc.
Just saying that my 14yr old has finally conceded he's not going to be rapper after thinking it was an easy career choice at school but still wants to have music lesson etc....

Yeah, I don't think you need to worry about him making his big break and becoming famous. The cheating, poor relationship skills, and cringe-inducing lyrics are the real problems here.

I voted YABU but only cause your still with someone who has cheated, is mean to you, is selfish and has told you to leave if you don’t like what he’s saying. He has no respect for you. Is this the kind of relationship you want to model for your DC?