Irritated by my sister in law since she started Wegovy?

[YourRealTurtle]

Since going on it she has become utterly smug!!

Every meal is a lecture about portions, willpower and how easy it is if you just decide to be disciplined. She brings it up constantly and watches everyone else eat with a tiny smile. She posts mirror selfies and captions about finally respecting her body. If anyone mentions side effects or cost she waves it away and says excuses are a mindset.

The thing is I am genuinely pleased she feels healthier. I really am. I just cannot cope with the sanctimony. Family dinners are exhausting and I dread comments about my plate. When I gently asked her to stop she said I should be inspired not threatened. I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

AIBU to think this is insufferable and want some boundaries or should I just swallow it and nod along? I really want to tell her this can't continue and she needs to calm down and stop with the horrid attitude.

I’d be telling her that it’s pretty easy to lose weight when you’re using medication to suppress your appetite. Does she really think anyone is impressed by that? She isn’t hungry, it’s zero to do with willpower. No way i’d sit there quiet when she’s talking bull crap.

This is exactly what I was going to say. The medication hasn’t sorted the eating disorder because it can’t. You experience her as insufferable Op because dealing with a person who has a mental health challenge like this one is very difficult - to say the least.

She sounds like a pain in the arse. Just tell her.

yeah that jumped out at me as well! Quite cringey under the circumstances

Ok. This thread is descending into absolute bitching and assumptions. I get hungry on Mounjaro. I have to do all the things I've done on every other diet. It just helps the hunger and noise from taking over. It's amazing how much people who've never used these medications seem to think they know about every single person's response. It still takes willpower which I have in spades when my hormones and metabolism isn't going crazy.

"Yeah, willpower is amazing! That's what the rest of us have been using all these years to maintain a healthy weight, while you were eating like a half-starved Labrador. I'm so glad that there is now this miracle drug for people who don't have the discipline to eat healthily"

Smile sweetly.

I hear you....that's a good example of 'food noise'. I'm on mounjaro and I'm now the annoying fucker who forgets to eat and doesn't really look forward to food....maybe once a week as the jab has worn off. It's a bit shit really.

This is the approach you need to take with her.

Stop being nice. She gets one warning that it’s enough, then I would go in all guns blazing

its wasn’t will power that got her to this position was it? She was so overweight she now needs to inject a hormone to help her brain to think she’s full. One she will have to be on for the rest of her life in some format if she doesn’t want the weight to go back on, and something that has numerous side effects. Both known and currently unknown as it’s so new as a weight loss method, so actually she needs help with her will power to stop her eating

I would then say I am not having any further discussion on weight loss, you are well within recommended guidelines for healthy weight and don’t need someone who needs help making comments

then every time she mentions it I would simply say did you not understand what I said before, tinkly laugh, head tilt, and let the silence rumble

Haven't RTFT and don't know if anyone's asked this but you as its your SIL how are you having so many meals with her that this would bother you? Apologies if you are very close and live just down the road etc

Tell her to stop with the food policing, you’ve been looking forward to a roast all week and you are trying to enjoy it.
Then if she continues then refer back to food police, oh it’s the food police again and again and don’t let it drop.
I visited some friend’s last year and the DH is like this.The DW had put up with it for years so I suggested the food police strategy and it’s worked a treat.

Anyone with food issues that they try to inflict on others is unbearable. My sibling did this for most of my childhood, when they got into sports and fitness. It made mealtimes miserable and stressful for all concerned (and resulted in me stabbing them in the hand with a fork for trying to remove something off my plate. I should not recommend this, but it was very effective, and nothing was ever removed from my plate after that!). Thankfully, I no longer have to eat with my sibling on a regular basis, and if we are on family meals out, I sit at the other end of the table from them.

You need to make very pointed, public statements as suggested upthread. While people might not give you a standing ovation in public, some will probably say, "Well done!" in private! Either that, or suggest that her willpower and discipline could go into something more beneficial, like keeping her mouth shut about what others are eating.

Mum is on it and has been similar although not as bad. I went for tea and she dished us all up the same size portions - me, my mum and dad, and my two primary school aged children. Then because I asked if I could have a bigger portion the next time I went for tea, I now get comments about how I have a 'big appetite' and how 'of course' I'll have seconds/desert. Infuriating!

Smug and boring. She sounds such fun. I’d probably start yawning (if you’re not already) and change the subject to literally anything else. Or tell her to stfu and grow a personality.

I was correcting the person I quoted who said stating facts was "mean". You sound triggered.

I can't imagine not having food to cheer me up, or look forward too.

I guess it's just a different mindset to get used to.

Just wait until.she stops taking it and it all piles on again.

Is triggered the latest insult to shut people up? Pointing out you are citing information that's bloody obvious and is something most people have considered from the start of taking injections as they've already failed at numerous diets is hardly triggered. More bored of people asking about it as if it's a revelation.

And yes, 'fat shaming' people you disapprove of is mean.

Why do you have to be sensitive to her feelings and you have to tip your around and say things gently?!

don’t be such a doormat, gosh I would literally challenge or mock any family member or friend (gently or maybe not gently 😁) if they were being a sanctimonious twat

are you scared of her? how do others react? can you not just laugh at her? she is being silly after all

Definitely do not go on it if you feel like this.

Its meant to reduce the guilt associated with food.

Yes you still have to be conscious about what you’re putting in your body but you’re supposed to enjoy eating good food.

That sounds like an ED waiting to happen.

You need to stop being so gentle with anyone who has the manners of a pig and the intelligence of a gnat.

"Eyes on your own plate SIL. I'm sick to death of your boring food/diet talk".

Incidentally, I hope there are no kids present while she's enlightening you all with her talk of disordered eating?

Can you not go down a dose?

I’d hate this, food is meant to be enjoyed and you’re meant to look forward to your meals.

Long term, I’m not sure how this would help with weight loss/maintenance.
If you follow any health or fitness people you will see that what they eat it is a big part of their day and that’s completely normal (and healthy), they would never skip meals or not enjoy eating.

If she had will power she could have lost weight without fat jabs. If she knows about portion control and discipline why did she go down the fat jab route? She's a sanctimonious twat.

She isn't using self discipline, she's taking a drug that stops you wanting to eat. If she wasn't on it she'd stay fat .

I’d be tempted to say let’s change the subject, it’s boring talking about food all the time. Any holiday plans this year, SIL?

Deliberately change the subject and I bet everyone else will be relieved and start talking about anything but food.