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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Irritated by my sister in law since she started Wegovy?

191 replies

YourRealTurtle · 11/01/2026 18:00

Since going on it she has become utterly smug!!

Every meal is a lecture about portions, willpower and how easy it is if you just decide to be disciplined. She brings it up constantly and watches everyone else eat with a tiny smile. She posts mirror selfies and captions about finally respecting her body. If anyone mentions side effects or cost she waves it away and says excuses are a mindset.

The thing is I am genuinely pleased she feels healthier. I really am. I just cannot cope with the sanctimony. Family dinners are exhausting and I dread comments about my plate. When I gently asked her to stop she said I should be inspired not threatened. I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

AIBU to think this is insufferable and want some boundaries or should I just swallow it and nod along? I really want to tell her this can't continue and she needs to calm down and stop with the horrid attitude.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 11/01/2026 19:20

I don’t understand, she shouldn’t be lecturing anyone. What is her point?

Did you ask her what her point was?

ThatWorthyAquaFox · 11/01/2026 19:25

Id tell her if she had any willpower she wouldn't be on wegovy. Smug cow

Frugalgal · 11/01/2026 19:25

YourRealTurtle · 11/01/2026 18:00

Since going on it she has become utterly smug!!

Every meal is a lecture about portions, willpower and how easy it is if you just decide to be disciplined. She brings it up constantly and watches everyone else eat with a tiny smile. She posts mirror selfies and captions about finally respecting her body. If anyone mentions side effects or cost she waves it away and says excuses are a mindset.

The thing is I am genuinely pleased she feels healthier. I really am. I just cannot cope with the sanctimony. Family dinners are exhausting and I dread comments about my plate. When I gently asked her to stop she said I should be inspired not threatened. I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

AIBU to think this is insufferable and want some boundaries or should I just swallow it and nod along? I really want to tell her this can't continue and she needs to calm down and stop with the horrid attitude.

Does she not understand the drug is the willpower she didn't have before? She's doing fuck all to boast about. I'm on Mounjaro so not deriding the use of the jabs, at all but the whole point is they do for you what you couldn't do for yourself.

Next time tell her 'I dont need jabs to stay thin, I don't need any lectures from you'.

PinkArt · 11/01/2026 19:25

God the sheer glee on WLI conversations about how soon the big fat fatties will become big fat fatties again when they shop taking the medication. If we don't all die of the side effects first of course.

AuntieDote · 11/01/2026 19:26

The thing about WLIs, when they work, is that they really do work for you mentally as well.

When I was taking them, I’d look at my husband going back for seconds, or raiding the cupboards in the evening or suggesting he nips to the shop for some treats for later when we’re watching the traitors or whatever it was, even having a beer at the weekend, and it would just seem like such alien behaviour to me. I’d be like ‘why would you, you’re not hungry, you had a big dinner, why would you even be thinking about it?’

I really genuinely felt like that, and I had to remind myself that prior to the jabs that was exactly what I’d have been doing, or wanting to do and struggling to stop myself. I felt so far removed from those cravings and habits. I didn’t say anything, had just enough sense left not to, but do remember the feeling of ‘I’m cured, I finally see the light’.

Im not taking them now because I’m one who couldn’t take the side effects, though I’m bloody grateful I did get to take them and was able to lose a lot of weight, most of which I have kept off up to now. But the battle is back and I absolutely remember I am a person who struggles with this stuff and always has, and without the drugs always will. I usually manage to exert some willpower now, but only because I know what it’s like to be where I want to be, and what it cost me financially and in terms of the side effects to get there so I’m not going to throw it away. I will never rule out having to use them again because I know that my food issues are life long.

So, whilst shes definitely being insufferable, I can empathise with how your SIL is feeling like she’s finally cracked it. The drugs suppressing your appetite was only one part of it. In a way it’s a bad thing how thoroughly they convince you that you’re a changed person who had made all these lifelong lifestyle changes and could never ever go back- it makes it all the harder when you stop and think ‘oh no, I’m still me, I absolutely could go back at any time!’

Of course she should have the sense to keep it to herself and realise it’s not some great new willpower she’s found, it’s the drugs working now they’re designed to. Hopefully she’ll realise.

MILLYmo0se · 11/01/2026 19:27

YourRealTurtle · 11/01/2026 18:00

Since going on it she has become utterly smug!!

Every meal is a lecture about portions, willpower and how easy it is if you just decide to be disciplined. She brings it up constantly and watches everyone else eat with a tiny smile. She posts mirror selfies and captions about finally respecting her body. If anyone mentions side effects or cost she waves it away and says excuses are a mindset.

The thing is I am genuinely pleased she feels healthier. I really am. I just cannot cope with the sanctimony. Family dinners are exhausting and I dread comments about my plate. When I gently asked her to stop she said I should be inspired not threatened. I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

AIBU to think this is insufferable and want some boundaries or should I just swallow it and nod along? I really want to tell her this can't continue and she needs to calm down and stop with the horrid attitude.

You are more patient than me, at this stage I'd be pointing out that if I've always been able to manage my weight without injecting myself who the hell is she to be lecturing ME about portion sizes and helpings?! That's no slight on people that choose to use the jabs, it's none of my business what they choose to do, but don't think you get to judge me and think it won't be served right back to you

ElegantFowl · 11/01/2026 19:27

Why do you have so many meals with your sister in law?

Icouldwriteabookonmydisastrouslife · 11/01/2026 19:30

I would be reminding her that unless she stays on the jabs forever she will be back enjoying her food and getting fat again soon so don’t throw stones coz they will come back at her when she stops doing the jabs,

JacknDiane · 11/01/2026 19:31

snowone · 11/01/2026 18:24

See how she’s feeling when she’s been off it a month, I bet her willpower is somewhat waning at that point. I’m on Mounjaro and have been since Feb 25, I’m microdosing now to try to maintain my loss as I simply can’t do it alone! Once the meds wear off the hunger returns…..it’s simple and nothing at all to do with willpower!

Its so unfair how some people simply have very little appetite and others like me could literally eat buttered white toast and cheese forever. I used to work with a girl who sometimes forgot to eat lunch....I have my lunches planned out and the issue of being hungry or not doesn't really affect it.

Its shit really.

ThePerfectWeekend · 11/01/2026 19:35

If she carries on I'd embarrass the fuck out of her.
If it's willpower, why is she still paying? Tell her to STFU, stop taking it and come back in a year having still maintained her current food/exercise regime.Then she can talk.
My niece is insufferable. What makes it worse for me is I have a life limiting condition and am severely underweight. I'd love to enjoy a family meal out. She ruins everything she attends and when she compares her tiny portions to my situation (tube fed so know exactlyhow many calories a day), honestly I feel nothing but rage.

SumUp · 11/01/2026 19:37

Next time she does this, I would smile then say to her,

SIL, the injections are clearly helping you lose your fat arse, but unfortunately they won’t fix your personality.

3luckystars · 11/01/2026 19:37

JacknDiane · 11/01/2026 19:31

Its so unfair how some people simply have very little appetite and others like me could literally eat buttered white toast and cheese forever. I used to work with a girl who sometimes forgot to eat lunch....I have my lunches planned out and the issue of being hungry or not doesn't really affect it.

Its shit really.

What do you mean? You are hungry whether or not you eat?

DarkForces · 11/01/2026 19:38

This sounds grim. I'm on Mounjaro and am now a healthy weight but I wouldn't dream of lecturing anyone about their food intake. I know I'll need to be on them for a very long time to maintain, possibly my lifetime. They have transformed my life and I give them full credit for my improved health. There's clearly something else going on for you sil and if see it more as a mh issue. Very frustrating to listen to though. Can you avoid mealtimes with her?

Jukeboxjulie69 · 11/01/2026 19:44

YourRealTurtle · 11/01/2026 18:00

Since going on it she has become utterly smug!!

Every meal is a lecture about portions, willpower and how easy it is if you just decide to be disciplined. She brings it up constantly and watches everyone else eat with a tiny smile. She posts mirror selfies and captions about finally respecting her body. If anyone mentions side effects or cost she waves it away and says excuses are a mindset.

The thing is I am genuinely pleased she feels healthier. I really am. I just cannot cope with the sanctimony. Family dinners are exhausting and I dread comments about my plate. When I gently asked her to stop she said I should be inspired not threatened. I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

AIBU to think this is insufferable and want some boundaries or should I just swallow it and nod along? I really want to tell her this can't continue and she needs to calm down and stop with the horrid attitude.

Omg she’s being sanctimonious about people’s eating habits yet couldn’t control herself with her own eating that she had to go on a slimming drug. I’m on wegovy because I’m a diet failure and so is she! Maybe ask her why she couldn’t control her diet in the traditional way..

PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 11/01/2026 19:50

You say she suffers from disordered eating - I would grit my teeth and say nothing. At some point the novelty will wear off and she'll stop talking about it.

ElegantFowl · 11/01/2026 19:52

I suspect the sil doesn’t even exist. This is just a rouse to slag off people on WLI.

CautiousLurker2 · 11/01/2026 19:52

I reply as a user of ozempic/mounjaro having lost 6st+.

I’d tell her that after her appalling and rude behaviour today you will not be inviting her to any further family meals.

JacknDiane · 11/01/2026 19:53

3luckystars · 11/01/2026 19:37

What do you mean? You are hungry whether or not you eat?

No. I eat whether im hungry or not. I like it too much.

ParmaVioletTea · 11/01/2026 19:55

I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

Presumably she is very overweight ( you need to have a high BMI to be prescribed WLI). But she needs a medication to do what you do as a matter of course?

I don’t think she has any right to lecture you. She’s a rank hypocrite and some fat- shaming might be in order.

Uhghg · 11/01/2026 19:59

I thought the whole reason these drugs work is because you genuinely don't have an appetite. The people binging are not the norm.

Many people who are overweight don’t eat purely because they’re hungry.

Binge eating is not because you get hungry.
Its way more psychological than that.

These injections help with that AT FIRST but then the binge eating returns after a few months.

These WLIs should not be given to anyone with a history of binge eating as they’re going to really struggle long term.

I had a colleague like this. It was exhausting!

She lost weight naturally but would lecture people on what they ate and portion size etc.
I do not cut food groups out and she’d lecture me on eating sugar and carbs - she was still bigger than me.
12 months later she’s obviously regained all of the weight.

The nerve of her talking about willpower and being disciplined - when she literally needs a drug to do this!
I could struggle to bite my tongue tbh.

Its one thing to share tips, it’s a completely different thing to look down your nose and judge.

IslaNotFisher · 11/01/2026 20:02

EmeraldShamrock000 · 11/01/2026 19:07

Mean.

Not mean. Just the reality according to science. No point in pretending this isn't something people need to be aware of when they go on these WLIs.

The British Medical Journal found that ""Reviewing data on 9,341 obese or overweight patients treated in 37 studies with any of 18 different weight-loss medications, researchers found they regained on average nearly one pound (0.4 kg) per month after stopping the drugs, and were projected to return to pre-treatment weight by 1.7 years.""

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/less-than-two-years-after-stopping-obesity-drugs-weight-health-issues-return-2026-01-07/

MeinKraft · 11/01/2026 20:03

I tried Mounjaro and it was a hellish month on it. I don’t know if it would have calmed down if i’d stayed on it but I was completely obsessed with what i was and wasn’t eating and felt really down. Yes my appetite left me but mentally i struggled hugely with what a mindfuck it all was. i was only at the entry dose though.

alifeonourplanet75 · 11/01/2026 20:03

I've been on WLI for a year, and even I get bored of all these willpower, finding myself etc posts. Just tell her to shut her hole!

DarkForces · 11/01/2026 20:06

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Daschy16 · 11/01/2026 20:06

ParmaVioletTea · 11/01/2026 19:55

I'm not overweight and have never struggled with my weight.

Presumably she is very overweight ( you need to have a high BMI to be prescribed WLI). But she needs a medication to do what you do as a matter of course?

I don’t think she has any right to lecture you. She’s a rank hypocrite and some fat- shaming might be in order.

Fat-shaming is never in order.