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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man knocking telling me to come outside

157 replies

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:07

At around 11pm, when all the houses were dark and quiet, an unknown man repeatedly knocked on my door. He didn’t knock loudly like it was an emergency – it was light but constant, which somehow felt worse.

I was home alone with my young child, which already made me feel vulnerable. I didn’t open the door but spoke through the glass. He told me there was an issue with “cars outside” and kept saying I should come out and look. His story was vague and didn’t really make sense. He had a dog right up at my door and he stood a few steps back. I started recording the conversation on my phone.

As it went on, he became more agitated. He then said he was going home but still told me I should come out and check for myself. I didn’t.

After he left, I looked outside properly from my kitchen window . The only car there was mine. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it – no lights on, no windows open, no damage, nothing. There were no other cars like he’d suggested either. There was literally no reason for him to knock on my door late at night.

The fact that he knocked repeatedly, tried to get me to come outside, and used a story that wasn’t true has really shaken me. Being alone at night with my child, in the dark, with someone trying to lure me outside has made me feel unsafe in my own home. I keep thinking how different it could have been if I’d opened the door.

I’ve reported it, but I just wanted to share in case it helps someone else trust their instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

OP posts:
moto748e · 11/01/2026 12:32

Haven't RTFT, and agree that the OP was quite right to not go outside, but nevertheless I'd have a really close look over your car this morning to make certain it hasn't been scraped or anything like that, on the off-chance that the guy was genuine, but maladroit. But that is not the most likely explanation.

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 12:38

Owly11 · 11/01/2026 11:00

Sounds like an attempted distraction crime. I agree about pretending there is someone in the house and making it seem like there is a whole household of people up and about out of bed. It is scary but you did well not to open the door or go out. They likely moved on to someone else.

Imo there are many more likely things than that at 11pm - there was some issue with the car, the man had the wrong house, he was drunk/drugged or has MH problems

I really dont think opportunist distraction thieves operate when most people are fast asleep

I'd don't suppose the OP will ever find out why he was knocking

Coffeeandbooks88 · 11/01/2026 12:41

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 12:38

Imo there are many more likely things than that at 11pm - there was some issue with the car, the man had the wrong house, he was drunk/drugged or has MH problems

I really dont think opportunist distraction thieves operate when most people are fast asleep

I'd don't suppose the OP will ever find out why he was knocking

Or he wanted to rape OP.

Finallysawthelight · 11/01/2026 12:41

If it's any consolation, because he now knows you're onto him, and because whatever he was trying to do didn't work, it's very likely he won't come back. He's probably moved on to the next possible victim, sadly, and if he is upto no good hopefully he'll be caught soon. In the meantime, ask a family member or friend to come and stay with you for a few days until you're feeling safer.

OllieKayden · 11/01/2026 12:42

I totally sympathise OP. This would freak me out now - I’d find it unpleasant and really wouldn’t like it.

30 years ago when I was young, fearless and mouthy, a man did this to me so I went back upstairs, opened my bedroom window and shouted

“are you felling me to ‘ come outside?’ Do you want me to sing the part of Mike Sarne or Wendy Richard?’ “

I then slammed the window shut.

He never bothered me again

BuckChuckets · 11/01/2026 12:44

Get yourself a couple of spare doorbell batteries, I have a spare so when one's on charge, I can put the other in.

lifeonmars100 · 11/01/2026 12:49

You must have been really shaken up OP, what an unerving experience. I live in a rough area and have had a fair few worrying incidents. The most recent one was a man just staring in through my front room window, I banged on the glass and got a "fuck off bitch" for my toubles but he did leg it. Bloody men we don't even seem to be safe from the weird one when we are at home

allthingsinmoderation · 11/01/2026 12:57

i can understand why you feel unnerved by that and im glad you didnt open the door or comply in any way.
Charge your ring doorbell in the daytime only.
I think i would have said "its OK my husband is a police officer and on his way home now....

ElizabethsTailor · 11/01/2026 12:57

diamondsonasunday · 11/01/2026 12:29

Exactly - for people saying it may have been innocent - nope.

No genuine emergency requires a woman alone with a child to step outside at 11pm to “have a look.” In a real emergency, he would have asked you to ring 999 on his behalf or been crystal clear about what kind of help he required.

Also, the fact he was knocking softly to me is also a red flag - he likely didnt want to arouse the suspicion of your neighbours or for anyone else to notice him or hear him.

In genuine emergencies, people dont knock softly, they panic and knock loudly to raise attention.

But he didn’t say it was an emergency, did he?

While I think OP was sensible to not go out, examples of what it could have been include flat tire, slashed tyre, rock through the window, hand break was off and car has rolled into something, he saw someone bump the car and drive off … any number of things.

If I was walking a dog at 11pm (which isn’t that unusual as a quick round the block before bed), and I saw any of those things, I would have knocked on the door. And I would have done it quietly in case children were sleeping. The only difference is that I would have been more articulate about the issue than this person seemingly was.

Im not saying that’s what it was, and I am certainly not saying OP should have done anything differently, but IMO it is more likely that it was something benign rather than a door to door rapist (as some are suggesting).

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 12:59

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 12:38

Imo there are many more likely things than that at 11pm - there was some issue with the car, the man had the wrong house, he was drunk/drugged or has MH problems

I really dont think opportunist distraction thieves operate when most people are fast asleep

I'd don't suppose the OP will ever find out why he was knocking

There are many people in this very thread relaying examples of opportunistic criminals doing the exact same thing as this man so it’s not rare at all.

lacquershimmer · 11/01/2026 13:01

We once had a knock in the door at about 2am. I opened an upstairs window to see who it was, I wouldn’t even have gone to the door at night.

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 13:02

ElizabethsTailor · 11/01/2026 12:57

But he didn’t say it was an emergency, did he?

While I think OP was sensible to not go out, examples of what it could have been include flat tire, slashed tyre, rock through the window, hand break was off and car has rolled into something, he saw someone bump the car and drive off … any number of things.

If I was walking a dog at 11pm (which isn’t that unusual as a quick round the block before bed), and I saw any of those things, I would have knocked on the door. And I would have done it quietly in case children were sleeping. The only difference is that I would have been more articulate about the issue than this person seemingly was.

Im not saying that’s what it was, and I am certainly not saying OP should have done anything differently, but IMO it is more likely that it was something benign rather than a door to door rapist (as some are suggesting).

The fact he refused to say why he wanted her to come outside is EXACTLY the point.

if someone’s tyre had been slashed why didn’t he say that? If someone’s lights were left on why didn’t he say that?

Then he even got agitated when she refused and STILL refused to tell her.

Thats not normal behaviour from someone either in an emergency or someone simply trying to be a decent person.

Also did you miss the part where op looked outside and there was nothing to see?

ElizabethsTailor · 11/01/2026 13:05

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 12:59

There are many people in this very thread relaying examples of opportunistic criminals doing the exact same thing as this man so it’s not rare at all.

It is (fortunately) rare.

Yes, there are many examples given on the thread - ranging over a 30 year period and by a self selecting group (people who see the thread title and think “oh something similar happened to me once”).

Its important to stay safe but it’s also important not to become overly anxious and disappear down a rabbit hole thinking that every knock of the door is malicious.

ElizabethsTailor · 11/01/2026 13:07

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 13:02

The fact he refused to say why he wanted her to come outside is EXACTLY the point.

if someone’s tyre had been slashed why didn’t he say that? If someone’s lights were left on why didn’t he say that?

Then he even got agitated when she refused and STILL refused to tell her.

Thats not normal behaviour from someone either in an emergency or someone simply trying to be a decent person.

Also did you miss the part where op looked outside and there was nothing to see?

Edited

I think you are agreeing with me that he wasn’t very articulate.

She said she didn’t go outside to look. Any of those things could be missed by just checking from one angle.

Gliblet · 11/01/2026 13:13

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 13:02

The fact he refused to say why he wanted her to come outside is EXACTLY the point.

if someone’s tyre had been slashed why didn’t he say that? If someone’s lights were left on why didn’t he say that?

Then he even got agitated when she refused and STILL refused to tell her.

Thats not normal behaviour from someone either in an emergency or someone simply trying to be a decent person.

Also did you miss the part where op looked outside and there was nothing to see?

Edited

This. I've knocked on people's doors before, after dark, to tell them they've left their car open or I've found a bunch of keys on their drive - you don't start by asking them to come outside. That's horror film 101 stuff. You start with the issue - "Sorry to disturb you but if that's your blue Astra that's parked outside you've left the boot open". "Sorry to knock so late but I found some keys on your drive, are they yours?". Whether the guy was confused, drunk, weird or deeply dodgy in some way I don't think the OP is being unreasonable by considering the possibility of a non-benevolent motive. However rare these incidents are, they do happen. I'm not one of the 'lock your door and never answer it' MNers, I probably err more towards 'whoever's out there isn't going to be more bad tempered than me', but I certainly wouldn't obediently trot out into the street if I was in the same situation as the OP of this thread.

TennisLady · 11/01/2026 13:19

On MN you get laughed at for living alone and saying you don’t answer the door to any unexpected callers!

How terrifying OP. Get in touch with the police and have your Ring doorbells charged, you can get spare batteries for them but maybe try to charge during the day if you feel safer in daytime.

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 13:21

Coffeeandbooks88 · 11/01/2026 12:41

Or he wanted to rape OP.

Well clearly when we don't know the actual reason anything is theoretically possible but that doesn't make all those things equally likely.

Im not going to change my view that a distraction burglary at 11pm when a house is in darkness is the top of the list of possibilities.

The OP didnt open the door, nothing bad happened, she's had good advice about charging the doorbell cameras, what is helpful about suggesting all the worst case scenarios?

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 13:28

darkmatterspacemystery · 11/01/2026 12:59

There are many people in this very thread relaying examples of opportunistic criminals doing the exact same thing as this man so it’s not rare at all.

There are posters telling stories of when they had late night knocks at the door and they didn't answer but I haven't seen the many posts where there are actual crimes that did occur. Im not sure I've seen one but I accept I may have missed yhem

CluelessAboutBiology · 11/01/2026 13:33

CanNotBeArsedAtAll · 11/01/2026 03:55

It doesmt reslly help, especially not now
But please make sure ring doorbells are charged in the day time or better still, they are hard wired so dont need to be charged

I know it’s no help to OP now, but if anyone has battery powered Ring doorbells, it’s worth buying a second battery. When I get a notification that my battery is low/30%, I charge up my spare one. When that is fully charged, I swap it with the one in the doorbell so that it’s always working.

OneWildBiscuit · 11/01/2026 13:43

You can get your Ring doorbell hardwired into the mains electricity, which means it doesn't require charging and risk being unavailable when needed. You'd need a competent electrician to do this, but worth the cost for the peace of mind it'd bring.

Sorry this happened to you. I'd be very unsettled in your shoes too

OllieKayden · 11/01/2026 13:53

SoapyDrama · 11/01/2026 13:28

There are posters telling stories of when they had late night knocks at the door and they didn't answer but I haven't seen the many posts where there are actual crimes that did occur. Im not sure I've seen one but I accept I may have missed yhem

I’ve been watching loads of old episodes of Crimewatch UK and loads of crimes start like this. This is why people are right not to open the door.

nOlives · 11/01/2026 13:59

I really hope OP is just catching up on sleep.

CremeCarmel · 11/01/2026 14:25

heartbroken26 · 11/01/2026 04:00

I would have said 'ok, I'll just get my husband out of bed to check' make out there is a man in the house.
I've even seen before someone say get some men's shoes like work boots etc and leave them outside the door, any creeps like this will then think there is a man living there.
I would speak to your neighbour's in the morning to see if anyone else had any knocks xx

My guess is that he knew there was no man in the house. I don’t want to alarm anyone but something happened to me to make me realise that people around us know more about our living arrangements, our habits and rhythms than we may realise.

l

WhitePudding · 11/01/2026 14:31

My late mother had a brain tumour, in the lead up before we knew, she started doing some really random odd things. Accusing neighbours of making lots of noise, ranting at them. Saying people over the back were leaving a bright light on all night. It was nonsense but took a while before she was diagnosed for us to join the dots. You just don’t know what someone could potentially be going through but that said, I’d call the police so they are aware.

dynamiccactus · 11/01/2026 14:33

canuckup · 11/01/2026 04:07

Honestly I'd have probably just said 'right, ok' shut the window and called the police. I have zero time for random men knocking on doors at 11pm.

And if you're in a house, you can open an upstairs window and ask them what they want. That's what i do with the cold callers. I know MNers think it's weird that people don't open their doors to all and sundry but why would you unless you are expecting a visitor or a parcel?