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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Man knocking telling me to come outside

157 replies

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:07

At around 11pm, when all the houses were dark and quiet, an unknown man repeatedly knocked on my door. He didn’t knock loudly like it was an emergency – it was light but constant, which somehow felt worse.

I was home alone with my young child, which already made me feel vulnerable. I didn’t open the door but spoke through the glass. He told me there was an issue with “cars outside” and kept saying I should come out and look. His story was vague and didn’t really make sense. He had a dog right up at my door and he stood a few steps back. I started recording the conversation on my phone.

As it went on, he became more agitated. He then said he was going home but still told me I should come out and check for myself. I didn’t.

After he left, I looked outside properly from my kitchen window . The only car there was mine. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it – no lights on, no windows open, no damage, nothing. There were no other cars like he’d suggested either. There was literally no reason for him to knock on my door late at night.

The fact that he knocked repeatedly, tried to get me to come outside, and used a story that wasn’t true has really shaken me. Being alone at night with my child, in the dark, with someone trying to lure me outside has made me feel unsafe in my own home. I keep thinking how different it could have been if I’d opened the door.

I’ve reported it, but I just wanted to share in case it helps someone else trust their instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

OP posts:
GeorgeMichaelsCat · 11/01/2026 10:58

Daftapath · 11/01/2026 10:26

Op doesn’t need two spare batteries, just one. They can be rotated with one always fully charged ready to swap out

Just one then 🙄

Owly11 · 11/01/2026 11:00

Sounds like an attempted distraction crime. I agree about pretending there is someone in the house and making it seem like there is a whole household of people up and about out of bed. It is scary but you did well not to open the door or go out. They likely moved on to someone else.

NailTreatment · 11/01/2026 11:07

Sensible not to open the door.
I've had someone knock at night to tell me a passenger door on my car was wide open, which I couldn't see from inside, but they were very clear what the issue was and I was grateful!

Can you message around your neighbours to warn them/ see if anyone's had similar?

MabelsBeats · 11/01/2026 11:12

I had this once, so sorry this happened to you. A guy came knocking on the door saying something about the car being unlocked.

Luckily, we had a road WhatsApp and someone had sent out a message saying this guy came to our door saying something is wrong with our car, beware. I literally saw the message as I was at the door. He started into his spiel and I just said ‘that’s not my car, I don’t have a car’. Which shut him up. Very odd.

Youngeryoungsuddenly · 11/01/2026 11:13

When I was about 12 we had a man knocking at 3am asking to come in. My dad was away, so just me, my mum and sister were at home. Mum called 999 and they came pretty quickly and took him away. Mum told us it was just an old man who had got lost. I have no idea whether that was the truth.

crosstalk · 11/01/2026 11:13

I agree to not opening the door but was on the wrong end once of people not wanting to answer at all. I'd been mugged at night coming back from work, my bag/keys stolen, bleeding from a grazed knee and elbow and a bruised face. With no keys or phone, I knocked on the nearest door to ask if I could use their phone to get my mum to drop spare keys off. Unfortunately there'd been a spate of doorstep cons, and while loads of people were in, none of them came to the door. Half an hour of getting colder and tireder, someone finally answered and let me use their phone.

cardibach · 11/01/2026 11:18

@crosstalk I answered the door in the early hours once. I wasn’t alone, I had a (female) friend staying and we were up chatting. I’ll always be glad I did because it was a young woman who had escaped a would-be rapist and wanted safety and to call her parents. I didn’t bring her in due to suspicions, I said my phone was out of order (it was before mobiles were common) but we drove her to a phone box and waited with her until her parents came.
It’s important to weigh things up. OP’s instance sounds off though and I think she did the right thing.

Lilactimes · 11/01/2026 11:18

Dear @AmberHiker
I hope you're alright this morning.

awful he frightened you. I lived as a sole mother in the heart of London for 20 years.
Please try not to let this episode upset you.
My first advice would be just don't engage. Never answer the door after a certain time unless it's someone you know.
Beef up your door security - I had a thick door chain on mine and never opened the door without putting it on. And have an outdoor light outside your front door that comes on automatically when you approach the front door. This is helpful for you if you're outside coming in too.

Ring is good too as others have said but I never had one in London. I know have an alarm system with a panic button built in on the app which is very loud.

Try not to worry. You didn't open your door. You were sensible and I'm sure you will continue to be like that x

Northerngirl821 · 11/01/2026 11:19

You did the right thing not opening the door but next time call 999. He could have attempted to kick your door in on the assumption that you were there alone, or gone to someone else’s house and done something to them instead. Even if it was innocent, the police will have a word with them about knocking on doors late at night.

PoliteRaven · 11/01/2026 11:22

Very unsettling. I wonder if burglars do that to see if anyone is in (if the lights are off) and come back later if they get no answer. Could be a disturbed individual/ on drugs/ drunk.

Been lots of good advice on here - definitely agree to speak to your neighbours, to warn them if nothing else.

Conniebygaslight · 11/01/2026 11:26

Sounds an awful experience OP, you’re not silly for being unable to sleep. Well done to you for handling it so sensibly and trusting your gut. Might be worth having someone prepared that you can ring if it happens again, which I hope it doesn’t. Definitely inform your neighbours and local community too.

PoliteRaven · 11/01/2026 11:28

@Dery
"I was vaguely aware of a man walking towards me on the other side of the road. He had been walking normally. Then he saw me and suddenly leaned down on a crutch he had been carrying and asked if i would help him up the steps to his front door (some of the houses on that road have front steps). I refused and kept walking. I wasn’t particularly scared because traffic-wise this is a reasonably busy road, but i still get a chill thinking about what might have happened if i’d helped him. Nowadays, i would report this just so the police have a note of it but it happened about 20 years ago."

That is really chilling. Obviously these extreme predators are rare but it does happen - Ted Bundy would pretend he'd broken his arm to disarm his potential victims.

As for the traffic, you're right, most would not dare, but I watched a documentary about Levi Bellfield and I was shocked at the CCTV footage of the road where Milly Dowler was taken from - really busy main road in late afternoon, happened in a really short space of time.

exiledfromcornwall · 11/01/2026 11:29

How frightening for you. Last night there was an unexpected knock at our door which sent my heart racing. It turned out to be a delivery man come to the wrong address (not the first time this has happened). That was unnerving enough, and it was only 7pm. What happened to you sounds far worse. You definitely did the right thing not opening the door.

What a sad world we live in.

ruethewhirl · 11/01/2026 11:30

Glad you followed your instincts, OP. Something definitely wasn't right here. I'd report it to the police if you haven't already (not rtft) and pps' suggestion of a Ring doorbell is a good one. Hope you're OK today, that must have really shaken you up.

Isobel201 · 11/01/2026 11:39

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:27

I actually have two ring doorbells one in the front and one covering the back alley and just my luck both were on charge at this time . I’m still awake now, I feel so unsettled which is silly but had I opened the door I’m assuming the dog would have come in first. I’ve listened to the recording over and over he doesn’t say for example ‘ sorry to knocks late is that your car outside ? The window is down ‘ you know something plausible it’s all very vague . First he says you should come out and look when he sees I’m not going too he says ‘ I’m going home now but you should still come look for yourself ‘ he was like 6ft with a non local accent and had a scarf wrapped around the bottom of his face .. which he did remove . Why did he knock so gently ? First couple I ignored I assumed maybe a delivery driver wrong house , but after a gap he knocked again.. feel quite shook up

I always have a spare battery - £25 for a spare but worth the expense. I know you didn't open the door, but tbh I wouldn't have even have got out of bed or answered him at that time.

SBGM247 · 11/01/2026 11:49

Praying for your safety. Posb to get a Ring doorbell and cameras front and back?

Cadenza12 · 11/01/2026 11:50

AmberHiker · 11/01/2026 01:27

I actually have two ring doorbells one in the front and one covering the back alley and just my luck both were on charge at this time . I’m still awake now, I feel so unsettled which is silly but had I opened the door I’m assuming the dog would have come in first. I’ve listened to the recording over and over he doesn’t say for example ‘ sorry to knocks late is that your car outside ? The window is down ‘ you know something plausible it’s all very vague . First he says you should come out and look when he sees I’m not going too he says ‘ I’m going home now but you should still come look for yourself ‘ he was like 6ft with a non local accent and had a scarf wrapped around the bottom of his face .. which he did remove . Why did he knock so gently ? First couple I ignored I assumed maybe a delivery driver wrong house , but after a gap he knocked again.. feel quite shook up

Get 2 extra batteries and recharge and replace immediately. Must have been unsettling for you.

Friendlygingercat · 11/01/2026 11:52

The problem is that the police dont have the manpower to come out for these incidents and these lowlifes know it. Perhaps better to tell them you will phone your mate who lives in the next street. Then mime a phone call in a loud voice. You can always let them know that your friend and two of his housemates are on the way to investigate and will be here in minutes. So it would not be a good idea for them to find you here. The last thing these creeps want is to be confronted by two or three burly males.

My ring doorbell offers me the chance to answer in a deep male voice. Very useful when you want to put someone off.

ComedyGuns · 11/01/2026 11:56

GreenLeaf25 · 11/01/2026 01:11

Please get a ring doorbell

This! I’m sorry this happened to you - also get a motion sensor light.

ByKeenBlueHelper · 11/01/2026 11:57

What a awful experience for you op , where I live I get random knocks late at night every so often I never answer

One occasion I remember a man knocking at my door I could see him on my camera and he actually knocked and knocked and stood outside for about 30 mins looking at the house and continued to know about every 5 mins or so I wasn't home alone but we didn't answer it was so bizzare

bignewprinz · 11/01/2026 12:02

So sorry this happened, it absolutely sounds terrifying and you handled it well.

You've already got Ring doorbells, but I would consider getting a spark round and swapping for their mains powered versions. They also do mains powered cameras with security lights (may not be suitable if your door opens onto the street) which you may want to consider in addition.

He almost certainly had malicious intentions, but if he didn't, what was he thinking?!

Shorten · 11/01/2026 12:09

To be honest I think it’s noticeable when Ring cameras aren’t working - he probably knew yours were off.

If you ring a doorbell or knock on a door with a Ring camera, the blue light around the Ring turn on which is a dead giveaway that indicates it is recording, awaiting a response, relaying a response etc. However it doesn’t turn the light on, if someone hasn’t knocked on the door or rung the bell ie when it’s just recording background motion.

It could be that initially the guy probably was trying not to trigger the Ring response, hence the light knocking on your door. But he likely realised at some point that your camera wasn’t recording anyway. He probably would have expected you to speak to him via the camera for example, and not speaking to him through the glass, if the Ring was working. Hence why he felt more comfortable being weird because he knows it wasn’t working and that he wasn’t being recorded.

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 11/01/2026 12:23

@AmberHiker Do you live alone? Any way he could have known you would have been alone at home?

Might be worth checking with the Neighbours in case he knocked on their doors & if the have doorbell or cctv.

You really need to get your Ring hardwired and get a motion sensor front & back.

Also keep handy a bottle of the Deep Freeze Muscle Spray very effective in stopping an intruder.

diamondsonasunday · 11/01/2026 12:29

Thehandinthecookiejar · 11/01/2026 09:38

Why would you go and “have a look” at a broken down car? Are you a mechanic? Very weird. Good for you for not opening the door though

Exactly - for people saying it may have been innocent - nope.

No genuine emergency requires a woman alone with a child to step outside at 11pm to “have a look.” In a real emergency, he would have asked you to ring 999 on his behalf or been crystal clear about what kind of help he required.

Also, the fact he was knocking softly to me is also a red flag - he likely didnt want to arouse the suspicion of your neighbours or for anyone else to notice him or hear him.

In genuine emergencies, people dont knock softly, they panic and knock loudly to raise attention.

BinNightTonight · 11/01/2026 12:32

It does sound unsettling. I live alone with a young child too, and its rubbish not feeling completely safe.

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