Child protection plan - Devastated

[SENSummer]

Posting for traffic as SEN board is quiet.

We have a high needs AUADHD non verbal DS. Specialist school, learning disabilities and challenging behaviour. Lovely but hard work and disregulates in school holidays. His home carer recently quit due to his violence and not feeling safe which they put in writing and I shared with SS.

I gave up work (both professionals) and became DS carer (also has a younger sibling) and have absolutely advocated for him every step of the way.
We kept asking for additional support and being denied at panel. DS is almost 6 but huge, 9-10 clothes. We reached breaking point this Christmas. We felt we couldn’t keep him or ourselves safe in the home and were really at the end of our tether. I rang social services and recounted how uncomfortable we were with the events of Christmas, said we wanted to consider section 20 or residential school if they wouldn’t help us further. They had a meeting this week and put both kids on child protection plans. Said DS is staying with us as we are what’s best for him.

Im just completely devastated. Barely stopped crying for 24 hours.

There were quite a few inaccuracies told in the meeting that compiled made us look really negative. There’s also things like DS having a safety gate over his room which everyone (including SS and OT) has known about all along and never raised issue with but now it’s a massive issue.
I can evidence most of these things but I’m terrified to even try. They have all clearly decided we are now the problem. Apparently the police who were in the meeting (never had police involvement in our lives) heard all of this and were very unhappy.

No one has ever had an issue with our parenting if anything I’ve always been commended for my perseverance with DS. I honestly wish I’d never said anything, we just really needed help.

Hi @SENSummer I've only just seen your thread and really have no useful advice to offer, certainly nothing better than anyone else on here could. But as the parent of an Autistic now 18 year old DS who also had to give up a professional career & ended up divorced as a result (huge percentage of family breakdowns in this situation as I'm sure you know) and who has gone through some hellish times (though not as hellish as yours) I couldn't scroll on by. Whenever I read posts like yours I think there but for the grace of god go I. I hope this recent development brings you some relief and wish you all the very best for the future 💐

But crucially op are you getting any extra help? It sounds like you cannot hope (through no fault of your own.) I know what it’s like to have permanent scars from violence from your own dc, and in my case she was tiny for age and even fully grown very slight and calmed down about age 20

This whole thing was triggered because OP asked for more support.

Bet she will think twice before doing that again.

Can’t help but think that was the aim.

What's the score with your son's EHCP, OP? Is his school able to meet his needs? It strikes me they are likely to increase as he gets older.

When was the social care plan last revised?

Have no real advice here, just so sorry you're going through it. Hugs.

I read several of your posts but didn’t have anything helpful to add, so didn’t post. I am so relieved. I hope you can now pivot all this mess from SS to getting the support you need.

That's a relief. Do you know who it was who misrepresented the facts at the meeting?

This is absolutely ridiculous on a massive level . So many children needing protection that don’t get this and one that is clearly loved is . Worse so they won’t even help . I find this absolutely shocking and I’m truly sorry for you .

I completely agree. Happens all the time esp with children with high needs as LAs have no money.

Any inaccuracies make sure you highlight them write down why its wrong and have evidence once those are wrote down its nearly impossible to have it removed believe me I dealt with a social worker who made shit up as he went along and what he said was taken as fact I couldn't get it removed from the minutes despite proving he had lied ( which they refused to document !) I showed him right up and he was all of a sudden moving area 🙄 but I'm still stuck with what he said on file so do not let them steam roll you , good luck if heavily advise getting a solicitor .

Why is everyone laying the blame on SS for them holding the strategy meeting? The OP has said that in this instance SS were given wrong information, that the OP could see how it that information had been true it would have been a really worrying situation, and that the social worker was clear with the professionals that the information had been misrepresented.
I know SS don't always get it right but it sounds like in this instance they had to act on information they were given, investigated it and were clear that they hadn't found any safeguarding concerns and that the professionals who shared the concern had got it wrong.

May I ask - who do you think gave incorrect information l?

The OP hasn't specified which professional but it's not the social worker. The social worker was acting on information shared by other professionals. She has mentioned the police were very negative and pushing for a neglect case but I don't know if that was the trigger for the strat or just how the police responded.

Relieved to hear they dropped it, and sorry you were put through this.

Agree with this. You might be relieved that you are not under scrutiny but you need help! What you are living through is not family life, through no fault of your own.

This is absolutely no way your fault. You asked for help and advice and got neither. You've been fobbed off. By a totally inadequate social services. Go back and ask for further explanation of what they are going to do next. Its simply not good enough.

Well clearly that they would receive some help in keeping themselves and their other child safe, not for both children to be put on a CP plan. SS have deemed DS is staying in the home, but that conditions in that home warrant a CP plan. In what world does that make any sense.

It is not misinformation, it is blatant lying. Social work reports are often the work of fiction. made up an hour before a meeting and all dependent on the SW mood at the time.

What was the documentary please, if you don’t mind me asking? I’d like to watch it.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0023db6

Thanks very much @Lalgarh.

Makes no sense at all! It's pretty much always 'we want you to keep your child at home but you're obviously the problem especially as you are the primary caregiver'. There's no money to support so it's a way of putting the risk onto the parents. When things inevitably go wrong it's then child protection. It's how underfunded systems protect themselves.

Yup, this. Lots of ‘no smoke without fire’ going on in this thread. Also, lots of misplaced trust in children’s social care systems.

Ask SW for a safegsurder to be put in place.
They are independent and will write and record a history and speak with all relevant people in child's life.
Their evidence is paramount at child protection conferences.
They cannot and do not make recommendations, however their reports are weighted very much in favour of what's fair and definitely what's best for the child.

What's a safeguarder/safegsurder?