to want people to stop buying my baby son clothes because I love dressing him myself

[flipendo1993]

I know I’ll be called shallow, but I get so much joy from dressing DS. I have a style I love for him and spend ages on Vinted bargain hunting brands I love but don’t want to spend on new, and I love looking at baby/toddler fashion sites on Instagram for inspiration. I’m very aware he’ll have his own opinions soon which is why I’m enjoying it for now. But my mum and MIL also buy him lots of clothes, and I honestly don’t like any of them. I did a count when sorting what fits today and over half of his clothes are gifts I don’t like. I put him in their outfits when we’re together, but otherwise they’re unworn. I’ve made comments before when thanking them that his wardrobe is bursting, but they’re not taking the hint and I don’t want to be rude to them. My mum arrived today with a bag of clothes from Sainsbury’s and I don’t like any of them and I feel frustrated that I have even more clothes to deal with that I don’t want and didn’t ask for. I know I’ll be called ungrateful but AIBU to be privately annoyed instead of grateful for these clothes.

I think how fast they grow out of things actually makes it worse, because he doesn’t get long in the clothes he has and I don’t want to waste that time with him in clothes I don’t like.

How old is your DS? Baby clothes were pretty standard - babygros and then leggings or joggers with a T-shirt and jumper?

I’m very aware of that but he has to wear clothes and I don’t see a problem with having a style I love for him now. I said in my OP that I know he’ll grow out of not caring what he wears but until then I don’t think it’s treating him as a doll to dress him in outfits which I love.

I wouldn’t put DS in them, just sell BNWT on Vinted.

My DD has VERY fixed ideas about fashion and I haven’t been able to choose clothes for her since she was about 12. She has told me she will be exactly the same if/when she has DC. I’m not to waste money buying clothes that don’t fit her brief. So I don’t/wont.

Have you tried being honest about it? Say you know it’s batshit but you don’t want them to waste their money. Books or toys or premium bonds would be a much better gift if they are feeling generous.

Just ask them to stop say he has too much and not enougn days to wear them, you might be grateful for them when he starts crawling or going to playgroups etc and gets dirty,

Don’t worry right now there’s not much else they can but him and they’re just excited. Give it a few months and instead of buying clothes you will be getting endless toys. I can understand your wanting to dress him in a style you enjoy choosing but your family are just excited and it gives them joy to see something and buy it. So I would just accept it graciously and then once he’s legitimately to big for it you can donate or sell without guilt. Babies grow so quick so you won’t need to hang on for it for long.

Just donate them on. Simple.
If they ask say he puked and poo d on them

Take a picture of your stuffed wardrobe or draws and send it to both nans, seeing there's no room is undeniable.

Most shops will take back items unworn if you don't have receipt and it's still has the tags on. I doubt you will get a cash refund but you could swap it for something you need instead or they might give you a gift card

I always graciously accepted them and the kids dressed themselves from about two, both had very definite ideas about clothes that did not necessarily align with mine. Someone gave DD a hideous blue floral coat which she loved, in the grander scheme of things it was fine. Save your cash and let them buy him things, they won't do it for long.

YANBU AT ALL

Guessing this is a first baby/ grandchild. Either say very clearly, he has more than enough clothes in his size/ next size so stop buying them. Or photo and then donate or sell on.

If he's old enough to go to nursery then use as nursery clothes and nursery spares. Or if you attend a messy play session use them then. I also used to use clothes I didn't like so much when weaning and trying something that will stain/ very messy. I also used to have an outfit I didn't really like in my nappy bag as a spare so it was rarely worn. I currently have a barely worn hideous outfit in my nappy bag that someone bought my eldest DD as a spare for my current baby DD. It has been worn twice, said member who bought it saw it at new Year's Eve (DD had a poop explosion whilst we were out with them) and commented on how well it has worn. I just nodded and smiled.

Sell them on vinted

Oh I used to have this! MIL would turn up with heaps of clothes not my style at all. If it was just one or two outfits I wouldn’t have been too precious and would have kept them just for spares or nursery etc but it was getting out of hand! One day I realised he had a wardrobe full of clothes I didn’t pick or like! Then after that, rather than having to say anything particularly hurtful, I’d just thank her politely but not be over the top about it and then donate everything I didn’t like to charity shops.
Most of the time she had no memory of the clothes again (she used to buy so much!) but if she did ask I’d say we still had it somewhere and be vague or say he’d grown out of it.
Sometimes she used to phone and ask his size and then I’d say oh no need he has loads of clothes in that size thanks.
As she had more grandchildren the piles of clothes buying calmed down to just a few bits occasionally which I could cope with!

My mum has always been much more helpful and actually asks me “what does he need” and then would send money for coats, shoes etc so I could choose the style or she would come with me and we’d choose together.

I am
the same.
i have bags full of clothes with tags still on!

If they're from somewhere like M&S, take them back and get a credit voucher rather than selling on Vinted. You can always buy wine/gifts if you don't like their clothes.

No to the 'they can be nursery clothes'. You really only need so many. We had way, way more nursery clothes than we used until I realised they just wore the same few nursery outfits on rotation.

If they are from a big chain store take them back, get a credit note.

Actually you could do this "jokingly" of course, they might put a halt to spending on him.

If they want to spend money on him, encourage them to buy books, eg a classic series such as Beatrix Potter or mr men. Even better, for them to put the money into a junior isa. Use the argument that most of these clothes will be made cheaply overseas, possibly in unethical conditions and its more responsible to seek hand me downs, vented etc, and have fewer clothes.

Can you bring them back to the store & exchange for something else - even if it’s not your type of shop, could you get some vests/pyjamas etc instead?

I can totally understand this.

Return what you can and sell the rest on Vinted. Or dress him in the stuff you don’t like on days he goes to nursery.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4970389-overwhelmed-by-unwanted-baby-clothes-help-me-chill-out

Just let him wear them at home on days your not doing much, always handy to have spare bits if the poo, get food on them etc, or as PP have said use them for nursery/park/playgroup clothes.

Do you suggest alternate things that they could buy instead? Have you set up a bank account for him? They clearly want to be involved and love your DS which is fantastic. If they know what would be really useful for you, they might be willing to switch to that instead. Although I expect that no matter what you do, you will always get some clothes

In the meantime just return 1/2 the stuff for credit, take photos in the other half and then pass them on. Over time increase the proportion of stuff you return immediately.

My view on this depends on whether the style you have for him is in any way motivated by instagram posts or similar. If it’s a style borne out of a desire to please an audience/generate likes/farm engagement the YABU.

If it’s genuinely just your preference for how he dresses then you need to speak to them as this is a terrible waste of money and adding to the clothing landfill problem.