to want people to stop buying my baby son clothes because I love dressing him myself

[flipendo1993]

I know I’ll be called shallow, but I get so much joy from dressing DS. I have a style I love for him and spend ages on Vinted bargain hunting brands I love but don’t want to spend on new, and I love looking at baby/toddler fashion sites on Instagram for inspiration. I’m very aware he’ll have his own opinions soon which is why I’m enjoying it for now. But my mum and MIL also buy him lots of clothes, and I honestly don’t like any of them. I did a count when sorting what fits today and over half of his clothes are gifts I don’t like. I put him in their outfits when we’re together, but otherwise they’re unworn. I’ve made comments before when thanking them that his wardrobe is bursting, but they’re not taking the hint and I don’t want to be rude to them. My mum arrived today with a bag of clothes from Sainsbury’s and I don’t like any of them and I feel frustrated that I have even more clothes to deal with that I don’t want and didn’t ask for. I know I’ll be called ungrateful but AIBU to be privately annoyed instead of grateful for these clothes.

I have a style I love for him and spend ages on Vinted bargain hunting brands I love but don’t want to spend on new, and I love looking at baby/toddler fashion sites on Instagram for inspiration.

Ffs. Its a baby, they are supposed to wear babygros (which they then puke, dribble, piss & shit all over) where does "style" come into it?

Honest to god people are probably doing it on purpose because it gets irritating when someone treats a baby like a fashion accessory. I say this with love op as i did it with my first... you won't do it with baby number 2 😂

People enjoy different things. Some people enjoy buying and dressing their baby in nice outfits. It's not a crime. Not everyone keeps their babies in sleepsuits all day or just shoves any old clothes on them. Also, things don't automatically change after baby number one. I dress my 4th baby just as nicely as the first. Can't say I've had a lot of their clothes ruined by bodily fluids nor had to do multiple outfit changes in a day very often either.

Just tell them you have enough clothes! That’s what I’ve done. If they bring them, just refuse and ask them to take them back.

From an environmental perspective alone tell them to stop. The world is drowning in barely worn, good-as-new, baby clothes and it’s great you already use second hand via vinted. Maybe come at it from that angle.

I totally get this. I've had very similar issues with grandparents and buying my kids mounds of clothing that 9 times out of 10 I don't like. Or bloody soft toys. Stop buying f-ing soft toys. My 4 kids have about 30 each and I think we as their parents have bought about 6 of those. I especially hate it when they buy things like shoes and jackets that I don't like so I'm stuck with using them and don't feel I can go buy what I do like as I then don't have space to store all this stuff. I know people will say "Oh you're so ungrateful! I wish grandparents would buy those things for my kids!" But it does become irritating and overwhelming and also feels like my toes are getting stepped all over really as if they feel they are the parents or something and just disregard my wishes or tastes. And another problem is my own mother in particular will absolutely remember every item she's bought and regularly asks if they've been wearing them or says she hasn't seen them in it etc 🙄 I've just kept repeating do not buy them clothes or when she shows me stuff she's bought and I don't like or need it I ask questions like "Oh is that for your house when they visit?" Or I say that will be good for nursery 😂

There are parents who would love to be in your position. Many find it hard to feed their family far less keep them in clothes. You are fortunate to have more baby clothes than you can handle. Accept them with grace and allow your babies grandparents to take pleasure in gifting the grandchild they love with clothes or anything else they care to give him.

where does "style" come into it?

With what’s printed on the fabric. I assume you’re aware that baby clothes aren’t all pain white, and because of that some prints are to my taste and some aren’t. In ten months he’s only stained one vest with poop, all his other clothes are pretty much good as new. I’m sure that will change in the toddler years but as a baby all the promises that it doesn’t matter what he’s in and to have a million backups because they’ll all be trashed haven’t materialised.

Babies aren’t ‘supposed to’ wear baby grows either, and most babies his age don’t wear them exclusively. They’re supposed to wear clean comfortable clothes which let them move around and explore freely. I’m also not using him as a fashion accessory. He has to wear clothes, and I have a preference on what clothes he wears so dress him in them. He has a mix of sleepsuits, vests, leggings, trousers, dungarees, jumpers and cardigans which are practical and comfortable for him, and look nice for me.

And for many reasons there won’t be a baby number two. Not everyone wants to or is able to.

I don’t post him (or anything) on social media at all. I’m just a lurker who follows a couple of other people’s children’s fashion accounts for inspiration on good brands, what’s new. I feel the landfill issue to, because I buy most of his clothes second hand, partly based on price and partly because there are so many great quality clothes out there.

But wearing them at home is the same problem that I don’t like the clothes and still don’t want to see him dressed in tractors all day there. I dress him in cute clothes because it makes me happy, not to impress people out of the house. I’ve used one thing I don’t like much in the changing bag like someone else says, but again that’s only been used twice since he went into that size two months ago. He really doesn’t have many nappy accidents. We have enough spares of the clothes I like not to need so many extras, and it’s pretty rare he needs an outfit change in the day anyway. He’s not in nursery yet but maybe these next clothes will last until he is, but if they keep on he’ll have enough nursery clothes for me to do a month without washing.

I get you OP. Dressing my children is one of my pleasures! I hate people buying clothes for us

Can you donate to a baby bank instead ? I did that

I did it with all my three boys.

Op do your family think there is a cash issue you buying secondhand and never new stuff?

But I think I'd stop telling them where you buy his clothes from. And I quietly return what they buy that you don't like.

You don’t have to accept the clothes. I know it’s easier said than done, but hold firm! A polite “That’s very kind of you, but this isn’t something we will use. If you would like to buy something or contribute, we could use X or go and do X together.”
There are other ways for grandparents to show love and care than through material objects such as clothes.
This is your child, not your mother’s/MIL’s. They’ve had their ‘turns’ of choosing clothes for small people, now it’s your turn.

Asking new grandparents to refrain from buying gifts for their grandchildren when it's a visceral love & desire to do so is quite frankly cruel. It's has nothing to do with whose turn it is. Your child's child means just as much to you as your own children, sometimes even more so. It's a natural instinct that until you have your own grandchild you can't possibly understand how it feels. I have young grandchildren and it's only now I understand how my parents & in-laws felt about my children. I never once resented their relationship with my children although I sometimes found it difficult to watch the love my children had for them, even more so for my mil & fil as they weren't my blood relatives but they were theirs & I accepted it.

I did face this situation to a point so I found it was better to direct my mum to buy specific things to help me eg for years she bought shoes (when I was with her too) as she lives near Clarks village, bigger ticket item helping me out. She also bought puddle suits for example but I bought day to day clothes

ha this drove me mad too. soooo many clothes that I didn’t like so generously gifted but not my style.

No, it isn’t. He’s their grandchild,

What a spoiled brat privileged attitude. Take the photo of your son in the clothes, donate the outfits to people who will be grateful, and simply tell DM and MIL he outgrew them. He is, as a PP said not a doll.

I remember people saying there would come a day I'd miss the constant clothes gifts. We were totally overwhelmed when eldest was a baby, mainly due to mil going completely mental with everything. Now he's 8 and grows at a crazy rate and needs shoes every 4-6 weeks and I see what people meant 😂

You've literally written - people who love my son buy him clothes and this annoys me. You are being ungrateful and precious. Just imagine for one second if your son had nothing bought for him because no one else loved him?