to want people to stop buying my baby son clothes because I love dressing him myself

[flipendo1993]

I know I’ll be called shallow, but I get so much joy from dressing DS. I have a style I love for him and spend ages on Vinted bargain hunting brands I love but don’t want to spend on new, and I love looking at baby/toddler fashion sites on Instagram for inspiration. I’m very aware he’ll have his own opinions soon which is why I’m enjoying it for now. But my mum and MIL also buy him lots of clothes, and I honestly don’t like any of them. I did a count when sorting what fits today and over half of his clothes are gifts I don’t like. I put him in their outfits when we’re together, but otherwise they’re unworn. I’ve made comments before when thanking them that his wardrobe is bursting, but they’re not taking the hint and I don’t want to be rude to them. My mum arrived today with a bag of clothes from Sainsbury’s and I don’t like any of them and I feel frustrated that I have even more clothes to deal with that I don’t want and didn’t ask for. I know I’ll be called ungrateful but AIBU to be privately annoyed instead of grateful for these clothes.

The usual thing to do in these circumstances is to put the baby in the clothes, take a photo, send photo to gifter saying thank you and then chuck/put/donate it away. No need to say anything hurtful.

I’m the same op

I like only second hand really too and all the piles of clothes I’m gifted fills me with stress tbh!

I use the clothes I don’t like as nursery clothes as i don’t care if they get wrecked

And everything else is either straight on vinted or charity shop

I don’t think there’s a nice way to say it to people

but I’m confident enough With my mam to say how I feel and she always checks now before she buys to see if it’s something we like and she knows how I feel about too much stuff and how it makes me stressed

it Does get better as the kid gets older as they are able to say what they like (daughters 4 now) and mum now takes her to the shops herself to chose and she knows exactly what she wants

Your local church might know a family in need that the clothes could go to.

I understand where you're coming from to an extent. Dd is seven now, but when she was a baby/toddler my MIL used to buy her loads of clothes and her taste was exceptionally different to mine. She'd buy her a lot of branded sportswear, e.g. matching black and pink adidas leggings and t-shirt, whereas I liked her in cute dresses and knitwear. It used to drive me up the wall, especially because you know that you'd come across as terribly ungrateful if you ask them to stop. I did find that as DD got older, MIL stopped buying as many clothes, is it's not really an issue now.

Yanbu to want to dress your baby yourself but it’s worth reconsidering that other people will enjoy baby clothes just like you do. It’s not like you’re being expected to dress your baby in clothes from randoms. These are his Grannies and they are invested in your son. If you want him to grow up with good relationships with his family, let them enjoy him too.

Do you have time to sell them on vinted on return them to the shop for a credit note? If not wear once or not at all and donate.

That works for one off gifts, but not in the volumes I’m getting the clothes from family, where it’s over half his wardrobe and hasn’t stopped yet. It feels rude to donate it, but I honestly want to give the stuff from today straight to the charity shop.

The nursery clothes is a good idea.

Its's fine just resell or get store credit.

I smile say thanks.
If its stuff from next I do the sale and buy things a few sizes up.
I now use the store credit at m&s to buy myself clothes or buy food and I dont feel guilty. At all.

I asked repeatedly that my dm and mil stop and they just crash on with no regard.

The rest of includogn tkmaxx garbage goes on vinted.

My mil buys stuff that imo is tacky (disney logo stuff with the cringey characters like goofy and minnie) or uncomfortable synthetic with sequins type stuff.

She's now progressed into buying 50 shades of sludge coord sets for my son and lil stripper crop top & hot pant type outfits for my dd3.
Just vile.
🫣🫣🫣

I don't even bother putting them in the outfit for a picture anymore.

I managed this with my DD by reminding myself of that everything is a phase. DD was given a pair of princess pyjamas by my MiL that were sugar pink and made of synthetic fibre but DD liked them (she was four) and quickly outgrew them so the problem resolved itself.

Re sell them with the labels still on on vinted

You can just pop them in a bag and take them to a charity shop. Someone else will happily use them. If you get asked where they are then simply say they're grown out, or you had to make some space as you had too many clothes.
It's wasteful but a temporary thing. They enjoy getting the clothes for their own fun really.

Just make sure if donating to charity to donate in a different town, otherwise your mother-in-law might just buy it all up as an irresistible bargain and then interrogate you about why you would put perfectly lovely unworn clothes into the charity shop.

This may have happened to me!!

How old is he, bit weird for people to be buying clothes for no reason.

Keep them for nursery clothes. I wish someone would keep topping my DDs wardrobe up with clothes I don’t like!

I only buy what I like, which means she’s got very limited suitable for nursery 😂

Just tell them "please no more clothes thanks".
Say he has far to many clothes and he doesn't need any more.
Be firm and clear (no vague hints about his wardrobe being small or something).
Tell. Them. To. Stop.

Is this your first baby OP?

I must be in a minority as my mum will always buy my kids clothes such as when they need a next size up and I'm always extremely grateful. I'm certainly not so ungrateful to be turning my nose or giving away gifts or clothes if people have taken the time to buy them and are doing them to help me out given how expensive things can get.

If your MIL or mum are anything like mine, they'll be thinking they are doing your favour by buying clothes to probably help save you money or just doing it out kindness. Given how quickly babies grow out of things, I genuinely couldn't get worked up about putting them in an outfit that wasn't my style if someone had bought it for us.

I think you can just say he has more than enough clothes in his current and next size(s) and you’ll let them know when he needs more. In the meantime what would be really useful is x or y.

Not unreasonable. Told my mother at the beginning not to buy us clothes, she did it anyway, I just said “no thanks” and refused to take them. Not my problem if she gets mad about it- I did say

He's not a doll.

I'd perhaps be reframing it as instead of being annoyed at being given clothes that aren't in your style at being thankful you have family members who take an interest in your children and want to buy them things.

Oh, and next time they turn up with another bagm just hand it back and say, ‘I’m sorry, I thought I’d told you he already has too many, Please take it back and if you’d like to get useful things for him, we always need x or y.’

Just donate it all. You’ve tried telling them and they won’t listen so don’t feel bad about it. I wouldn’t bother putting the clothes on for a picture or having him wear them around them because it sounds like the volume they’re buying makes this impractical. It doesn’t matter if they “also like buying baby clothes.” He’s your child and you are perfectly entitled to dress him how you’d like.

The handy thing about when they’re small is that clothes don’t fit for long. Carry on dressing your son how you like. If the clothes you don’t like don’t get worn/worn often then you pass them on/donate/sell as and when. My kids all got given stuff I or they hated. No biggie and I never told anyone to stop giving them things as I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.