Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Sounds like you and your partner have set up a schedule that works for you all. I, too, could not study if my toddler was home (my DD was very ill until she had surgery when she was 4) hence my ECs were always approved. I would say change your provider. My suggestion wiuld be to do 3 days of 9-3 (you get more child free time to do assignment) and that’d end up costing same as 2 x 7.30 - 6.30. This way your DD also has shorter days. They may even encourage doing 7.30 - 6.30 because they were banking on you dropping more around 8.30-9 and picking up earlier without losing their fee. Tell them if the timings/days are not working for you. Usually they do a U-turn.

Defo they were wrong. They know moms easily feel guilt (just naturally more pre-disposed to it). It won’t be the first time you feel it. But be clear about your boundaries.

Good luck with your degree.

So did I until my early 30s and believe me, it didn't do me any favours! I let people walk all over me and disrespect me for fear of confrontation.

There's a difference between being rude and being matter of fact. I don't condone being rude or aggressive while speaking to people, you can absolutely stick up for yourself without being either. The more you do it, the easier it will be - trust me!

"All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived."

Were they really all wearing hats? Sounds like the 1930s.

It's been snowing where I am, most people are wearing hats.

Find out who the nursery owners are- it would be useful to know anyway.
i personally wouldn’t let this go for another week and I would want to at least have a conversation with a member of the management team to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
You pay until 6.30, so technically you’re not late picking up until 6.31
They should be providing stimulating, high quality care for your child until that time; plonking her in a coat waiting in an entrance area for any length of time definitely falls far short of that.

My daughter attended nursery 2 days a week 8-6 and a half day 8-1 every week from when she was 2.
She absolutely thrived there, it did her confidence the world of good and she settled into school so smoothly as a result of being used to the structure.
I think it’s commendable that you are completing this degree- what a superb and inspirational role model you must be for her!

In fairness she can probably see she's the last one by the fact there's no other kids to play with for the last 30-60mins 🤷‍♀️ not sure how they'd be able to fake that like "it was the middle of the day".

I work in a Nursery until closing twice a week and at my setting we do our best to entertain the child/ children until they are collected. Sometimes we only have one child in the room for the last hour but play with them or look at books together.
We have had a lot of snow in our area over the last two days and on Thursday our nursery manager did ask that if possible, children could be collected early so staff could make it home safely before the conditions became really bad but that is very rare occurrence. The attitude of the staff that you experienced sounds very unprofessional. I'd definitely raise it with the manager.

Really? How many times did you read you it? Do you need some help with the bigger words? 🤨

Exactly this. Ignore the judgey fuckers who don't get it at all.
You're doing just fine, and they need to provide the care hours you've contracted and paid for, in full.

Bullshit. As a graduate of the Open University, there is no way you’ve actually finished a degree if you think it’s easy.

I was already going to say this, but you’ve given me the perfect opportunity -
Although we’re strangers, I’m very proud of you. Going to school on top of holding down two jobs and being a mum - it’s hard. It’s a whole lot.
And I know how you feel - you feel like you’re doing a crappy job at all four, right?
You aren’t. You’re kicking ass. Don’t let some stupid day care or strangers on the internet get you down.
I was 10 when my mum went back to university and 12 when she graduated and I don’t think there was a day that went by that she didn’t apologise for having to leave me to make dinner for my dad. Like that was some huge imposition.
Enjoy these days and these times with your daughter and with school. They’ll be over in 15 minutes. Take many photos and videos and make new friends.
You’re gonna be grand. Just breathe.
Sending love from faraway ❤️

This. Yet again posters picking apart an OP and derailing. OP isn’t looking for advice on her study time or arrangements. She needs to know how to handle the rudeness of the nursery staff.

I’d be really annoyed! Do they know your situation as I doubt they’d be ringing someone they know is in work, early! Also ignore certain posters. My son was in nursery Monday to Friday 7am to 6pm as I was studying a nursing degree as a single parent which was full time hours weekly including placements so you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t! I had him at 19 and wanted to make sure he’d have a better life growing up than I did.

When he started school he never cried once, they said it’s like he’d always been there, and he’s 10 this year and very much close to me, has always understood that mummy has worked hard for what we have and he does very well educationally so it very much benefited him. Mums have enough guilt without all the ‘wow it’s a very long day’

Why did you not pick up your phone? It was her first day. They could have been ringing about anything.
The way they handled it was out of order, but 6.30 on a Friday is a bit grim.

Rubbish. I did my masters with the Open University and it had higher demands than MAs at other universities that I saw colleagues doing. Ignore this OP, the Open University has been respected for years. Good luck with your studies, I hope you enjoy them.
And ignore the staff, they are paid to be there until the end of the session. Perhaps suggest they share a book with your child in the last part of the session so that nobody is bored or clock watching.

OP, if the nursery keep up this nonsense I’d be finding a new nursery or a childminder (they’d be more flexible). My dd is starting childcare soon and will be in 8-6 everyday, I’m a student also but one who is employed by the NHS. Ill hsve to put her in at 7am sometimes, it’s not ideal but it is what it is.

I work in a nursery and this is unacceptable. I can’t believe they called you! I would have worries about the attitude of staff overall if this is their behaviour. Professional staff will be engaging with the child and certainly not complaining.

They may be long days but she’s only doing them twice a week. 22 hours a week in childcare is still low compared to a lot of children. They were definitely rude! I think the fact that someone wasn’t sat playing with her or just reading her a story really speaks volumes for how much these people care about the children in their care- honestly OP there are some amazing child care places out there and I’d be thinking of looking elsewhere.

They could have let the staff go early and leave two staff ( without coats on and reading / playing with your child ) but they wouldn't as managers say there is always cleaning / sorting / paperwork and other jobs that can be done , manager would say to us you get paid the same at 6.20 pm as you do at 7.30am so you will be working and not standing with coat on / bag ready to go home.
Good nurseries would probably be mopping floors / taking bins out , whilst 2 staff are working until 6.30pm as they are providing a service.
Ofsted would have something to say about staff making a child feel worried / concerned that they are the only one .
Christmas eve is a classic one for all parents to pick up at 6.29 pm , but parents are paying for a service , it is a business.Shops can't close early , doctors surgeries etc , so why should a nursery?

When I was finishing my PhD I had the exact same set up - dd 2 days in nursery and with dh all Sat. I would never have finished it otherwise - I couldn't read for 15 mins with her awake. She's 20 now and I still feel bad about it - but I would do it again because I needed to finish my degree. I'm sure I never picked up early - I needed every minute of it. Proper uninterrupted study time. Agree with pps, let them know this is the regular deal or they can switch days as you had requested. Well done, keep going and ignore all the annoying **ers.

If they’re that desperate to get home one of them can use the last half hour to walk her back to your place for 6:30

Can we please stop knocking op for working two jobs and studying. That is something to be appluaded not criticized. Yes her daughter currently has a couple of long days at nursery but that is because OP is working to create a stable future for her.

Now back to the original question. The staff were completely unreasonable to be phoning up and then saying what they said at the door. I would be emailing a calm but clear email to management about what happend.

How do you propose revenge is sought?

Im in my second year of my OU degree and the pressure is a lot. I work full time but condensed so I have one day a week to study while the kids are at school and I protect that time fiercely because i really really need it. You paid til 6.30 and the nursery are beyond cheeky to be calling you to do an early pick up. Stand your ground.

✨🎶why don't you just fuck off🎶✨