Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Op ignore the haters
I worked, went full time uni (drove into the city 3 days a week), child went nursery (and school). I cried most days when i dropped off because i felt fucking awful and guilty. I graduated, got a good job and now have a good career and my children have more than they could before - and asking the youngest do you remember nursery? nope. they absolutely do not!

If nursery had made me feel like this id have gone nuclear. Hard enough as is. Have a word an clarify with them the hours

keep going OP,

I should have ignored them. I hope you’ve noted and listened to those backing you. Through a terrible sequence of events for me (multiple late miscarriages and being the carer for my Dad through his lung cancer treatment), I didn’t study the degree I wanted to when my children were small and my post was to let you know you are doing a great thing incase those crappy replies hit the mark they were intending to hit. xxx best wishes xxx

People could be “a bit pissed off” all they want, I would not send my child into nursery with a cold. Colds make most of us feel miserable and I would also WFH whenever I had a cold myself. I prioritise my children’s wellbeing and wouldn’t subject them to the discomfort of not being in their own home/bed with a cold. Not to mention how selfish it is to send them in to spread it to everyone else. If my work hadn’t been happy about that then I would have quit and found somewhere else. There was a time I had a career and a child in childcare and I can honestly say I never sent them in unless they were 100%.

Good for you. I prioritise a roof over my children’s heads.

They’ve been commenting the last couple of days so I think they’re just loving the drama! I understood what you were saying, you clearly weren’t saying SAHM were uneducated, you were talking about uneducated comments some SAHM were making. I’m so sorry to hear about all you went through, I can’t imagine how difficult that was with children. Thank you so much ❤️

I hate this for you and your child , it’s absolutely foul behaviour on their behalf I’d definitely speak to the owner/manager . They are absolutely taking the piss and making a thing out of something that isn’t even a thing . I’m really sorry this happened to you both ☹️

Let’s just start ignoring this person. They have been following this thread since yesterday and it’s like they’re getting off on being a terrible person and judging other people. Can’t imagine that a personality trait of a perfect parent, like this person seems to believe they are, would include being so awful and judgy. I think someone is projecting! Let’s no longer give them the satisfaction 😂

9 times out of 10 when mine get a cold, they aren't interested in laying around in bed because they feel absolutely fine other than the sniffles. If they just want to lay around in bed then they are clearly unwell and wouldn't go to nursery.

Quitting on a whim and finding somewhere else isn't that simple if you are the breadwinner and working is the reason why your child has a roof over their head and food in their mouths.

It sounds like that poster and her children get hit harder by colds than many others. Maybe she should feed them some foods high in vitamin C.

And let’s also appreciate that TJk tore mothers to shreds for using childcare for a career, yet just admitted to using it themselves. They are either feeling insecure about their own decisions or they are just trying to hurt people.

“ tore mothers to shreds for using childcare for a career”- bit dramatic

You questioned why mothers choose to have children when they put their kids in childcare, yet you did it yourself 😂 bizarre behaviour

I thought you were going to start ignoring me? You can’t help yourself, can you. You also keep going on about that point I made specifically to the poster who said that her children and most children she knows were in childcare 11-12 hours a day every day.

I work in a nursery and i’m actually baffled by this!!! 6:20 is a perfectly reasonable time to collect your child who is booked in till 6:30 and you should absolutely not be made to feel otherwise!!

I personally don’t agree with the hats and coats situation either- that to me is rude. Staff are paid till 6:30 and can get their hats and coats then! I Get that staff want to go home, I really do, i’m the same 😂 but that does not mean that parents should be made to feel any type of negative way for leaving their child in for their booked session. they are offering childcare until 6:30, you’ve come before that time; with time for a hand over enough time for staff to still get out promptly.

i am a teacher and if I took time off every time my kids weren’t 100% I would have lost my job . There’s a threshold of absence that you can’t go over without triggering dismissal procedures
sometimes you just dose them up on calpol and send them in , yep you feel shitty but losing your home is shittier

I thought it was me she was ignoring 🤣

Thank you!!! It’s always nice especially in this thread to get an opinion from someone on the other side of things!❤️

No, sorry I don’t think there’s ever an excuse to dose your kid up on medicine in order to send them in. Terrible for the child and unfair on everyone else who will now have the same problem as you. As a society we should oppose that and if everyone did, the culture would soon change. There are certain countries where there is a high societal shame for showing up for school/ work with anything contagious. It’s the opposite in the UK sadly.

Sorry to disappoint but I think I won the prize for the nastiest poster on this thread 😆

I imagine someone else was paying your bills then.

🤣

The fact that most nurseries still charge for shorter days around Christmas, and holidays and you still have to pay when they're not in, because of illnesses they've caught from nursery, is a joke in itself, but having the audacity to make you feel bad for being 10 minutes early, when you're paying for their time and the emotional manipulation card of her waiting by the window!?

What the hell, tell them you want thursday and you'll be picking her up at the exact time you need to pick her up within their working hours. It's a business at the end of the day, if they have an issue they need to take it up with their managers about the length of their working day.

I had a nursery nurse who would guilt trip me, because I'd take her in later some mornings if we'd barely slept the night before, when I had a chronic illness and my daughter wasn't sleeping properly. She'd say "aww has mummy been taking you out in the morning again" and just snidey comments when in reality, she wasn't even 1 at the time and I was struggling with parting with her because she was so young.

You're paying for a service and that service runs until half 6. I'd put a complaint in and say if it happens again I'll be moving her. I promise you they won't say a word again, I'd speak to someone in there you really trust, they've broken trust by making you feel like that and you need to speak to someone you feel comfortable with so you can explain how you feel and will feel listened to.

They're out of order, stop doubting yourself you're doing your best studying, being a mum and working! Most of them don't even have kids and don't understand what it's actually like trying to balance everything. Walk in there, be strong, be confident and tell them how it is x

It would be terrible if the child became homeless too or didn't have any food to eat because their mum lost their job. Unfortunately sometimes it has to be the lesser of two evils to ensure the bills are paid and your child has the basics because you have no choice.

Society doesn't change overnight and people would absolutely have to make a stand enough to lose their jobs which they aren't going to do because of said bills that need to be paid.

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