Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

The haters are really out in force on this thread. OP tune all the crazy criticism and misogyny out. Good on you for getting your degree. You sound like a super mum, employee and student. Stick it to the nursery manager for sure, utterly inappropriate.

I didn’t use paid child care.

Which makes your replies all the more ridiculous TBH.

How fortunate you were.

Plus it was her first day.

Thank you. Such a charmer.

Child was there for 9hrs 50mins this day though and they were trying to make it even less. Believe me, some LAs do care about every minute.
OP needs to find out which hour is paid for if they want to keep pulling this trick.

I agree I was.

Nursery are totally unreasonable!

Next Friday I’d be saying to the staff see you at 6:25! (And then I’d turn up at 6:20 and if they weren’t still playing with my child and had already sat her by the door I’d be making a complaint.

If pickup is until 6:30 then there should be no phone calls or anything else until 6:30pm - 2 phone calls at 6:19 and 6:20 is outrageous, and the fact all the staff had their coats on before 6:30 is ridiculous - they seem pretty lazy staff - I’d be looking to change nursery tbh.

Oh I think you’ve misunderstood, I wasn’t trying to charm you.

OP - I did Open University on a part-time basis (one module at a time) when I was working full-time and already had an undergraduate and postgraduate degree. This was before I had kids and I can confirm it is HARD WORK! What you are doing is amazing. Ignore anyone here that says otherwise.

I also get the Mum-guilt you feel here. I was always the last mum to pick my kids up from nursery because I am a busy woman and made the most of every minute of childcare that I paid for/was entitled to. It didn't mean that I didn't love spending time with my little ones too. I think having your little one ready to go ten minutes before collection time was unacceptable. As others have said they should have kept her occupied with an activity that was quick to tidy up with her stuff and the remaining staff members stuff ready to pick up and go. As it was she was likely to have experienced stress because she thought you were late.

I'd complain to the nursery manager and explain your intention to regularly pick up at 6.30pm because you need the full allocation of time to cover your work commitments. If they can't accommodate that on a Friday offer to switch to a Thursday because it sounds like that was your first choice anyway. If I was you I'd also be looking around for a different nursery that does offer half days, because I suspect from this incident that there's not a great culture in this nursery. You could always ask to do some settling in sessions with them to see how your little one could handle another transition before you made any firm decisions.

and OP was. So what's the problem?

I mean it is a bit rude to ask though isn’t it? She isn’t implying she can’t handle it at all. No one would bat an eyelid if the child was with family. Nursery should be educational, rewarding, fun, nurturing etc.

I don’t think there’s a bad time to educate yourself and increase your earning potential. More pay, pays more tax, supporting businesses such as this nursery and local businesses when she has more disposable income etc. it’s a win win unless she specifically says she is struggling (maybe I missed that).

Good. You achieved your goal of not charming me. Strange way to behave but it obviously works for you 😱

Right, well it’s been explained to you now so you can start trying to think beyond your experience. She was earlier than the very end and handover is only a 2 min conversation. Nurseries call during the day if there is anything serious to report and most of apps not to share learning journeys and food/toileting. You’ll say you didn’t know that as you don’t have the experience. Maybe a sign to educate yourself before passing judgement?

Eh?

After a number of settling in sessions, as is usual. Again, you wouldn’t know so stop passing judgement.

It will be hard for the child is they are regularly the last one there and the staff don’t know how reliable you will be yet and you don’t know the nursery norms

I actually don’t have a problem with the OP, apart from her telling another woman she needs therapy and has a sad life merely for having an opinion.

However, it was her daughters first day and I think that, instead of demanding this that and the next thing that people on here are suggesting, she should put it down to teething problems and work it out amicably with the nursery.

Could be crossed wires rather than a slight on her parenting?

Are u sure it was 6.20 and not 6.40 and they wanted to leave at 6.30 their finishing time

I worked in Early Years for a large part of my career. I won’t be replying to you again, so waste your time replying to me if you like. 🤦‍♀️

You may be a slacker, most people are not. I am regularly still working at that time and later.

It frankly doesn’t matter either if the OP was polishing her nails and watching TV - she has paid for a service up until 6.30pm and was early to pick up. If the nursery staff don’t want to work at that time on a Friday then they shouldn’t take customers’ money for it.

OP: I would ask them to clarify their operating hours on Fridays as your daughter was distressed - their behaviour implying you were not where you should be was inappropriate for a small child settling into nursery. I would also point out these are your working hours, if they cannot service those hours on a Friday you are happy to move to Thursday but the hours are the hours you work.

I would also take note next Friday when I turned up at 6.20-30 to collect. If the same problem occurs then take it up with the owner, documenting the issues. The manager is plainly no better than the staff (and may be driving the culture). I would also be looking at alternatives who did not upset my daughter by implying I’d forgotten her on a Friday. Putting a child in their hat and coat and hassling parents for an early pick up so they can skive off early is not the service you are paying for.

Of course its possible if its a chain that the owner doesn’t care and that is where the culture comes from and I know its not always easy to change (in which case I’d definitely look for alternatives) but if they want to skive on a Friday they need to find you space on Thursday or reduce the fees for a shorter day (if you can even do that).

I think it would be weirder to regularly try to charm randoms on the internet TBH!

You worked in Early Years and yet you think its reasonable for parents to be expected to pick up early when they are working? Did you work in the OP’s nursery?

Contact the owner if a private nursery. The manager obviously condones it. I imagine all of the children left at 6 pm are made to sit waiting with coats on ☹️. Not acceptable. They should be enjoying story time right up until last parent arrives.