Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Why isn't OP merely allowed to have an opinion about pp? Especially if we're talking about pp who questioned why OP even has a child. Of course that is going to get a response and probably a response that is just as personal and not exactly kind.

With all due respect, if I was OP, I'd take advice from those who use or have used nurseries over those that have no experience at all with them and are always on these types of threads questioning why a mother had children if they were going to use nurseries.

Why not read the post you quoted? There isn’t anything to suggest, from the staff’s response, that the OP had got in a muddle about the time.

I’ve never worked in a nursery.

Yes! This is so frustrating. If nursery says there hours are 7.30-6.30 and then I should be able to drop off at 7.30 and staff be in and ready to engage with the kids (I..e they've been there 15/30 minutes already setting up etc) and collect at 6.30 and the staff not be tapping their feet to go home!

Which doesn’t include me.

You may have worked in early years but you've been clear you have no experience of relying on paid childcare so that's where you need to educate yourself and develop some empathy in order to contribute constructively to this conversation.

But you were very quick to defend pp after what she said even in your response to me. If pp says something like that, she is hardly going to get a nice response, is she?

You've never worked in a nursery. You never used a nursery. But "people with no experience of nurseries" doesn't include you?

So you don’t have experience of working in a nursery? You don’t have the experience to comment then!

Thank you. I’ll bow out now as I’m clearly too thick to post on this thread 👍

thank you !! I made a tongue in cheeky sarcy joke in response to someone questioning why I’ve bothered having children, yet pp is not outraged about the disgusting nature of the original comment? I’ve started ignoring them because I think they came on here purely to troll honestly the comments are so unreasonable, like you said especially from someone in the fortunate position to never require childcare

Wow, someone has some sensitivities. I commented on your empathy, not your intelligence.

Not thick, we have no idea of your intelligence levels. You just lack the experience necessary to make a valuable contribution to the thread.

But not in a nursery…

On top of having never used private nursery childcare. Literally no clue.

Feel free not to reply. You’re adding literally nothing to the discussion with your lack of experience of private nursery as either staff or parent.

PAID childcare.

Absolute bullshit!
My daughter has done those hours since she was 8 months old.
Shes now 10 and I can count on 1 hand the number of times she’s been ill enough to need to be off nursery/school in her entire life.
The OP is not leaving her child at home alone.
She’s leaving her somewhere that’s full of toys (that are rotated regularly), with trained care providers who will entertain her all day and where there are other children to play with. That’s more than most children without siblings get at home. Please do explain how that is unfair on the child.
The point at which it becomes unfair is when the care providers are not doing their job properly and stop entertaining the child they are being paid to entertain in favour of waiting to go home.
They are the ones with something to feel guilty about, not the OP.

She was ill 5 times or less in 10
years? Really? You sound like the type of parent who sends their contagious kid to nursery to infect everyone else.

Right so you have no clue what you are talking about, you just think the OP should pay for a service but not use it so that the staff can skive off early.
🙄

You need to nip this in the bud and sort it out for what you want. I'm sure Dd did not ask why she was only one left and they could have explained it to her. Ask again for the day you would have chosen. and if not point out thst we alll hsve to compromise sometimes.

You do best to ignore them, especially as it has nothing to do with the AIBU anyway. They just don't agree with mothers daring to have ambition and wanting to better themselves.

Or simply not all children are constantly ill after first starting nursery.

Mine weren't either.

Are you able to split your days somehow so she’s there for less time, it’s a really long day at that age

CFs! They told you they wanted you to do Fridays and they are being paid for those hours. Speak to the nursery owner about it and don’t turn up until 6.30pm on the dot (even though I’m sure you’d love to be home earlier). Making your daughter wait with her coat on looking out the window for you way early as if she’s been abandoned is actually quite cruel!

The same point still stands though, doesn't it?

Unpaid childcare suggests family etc and that just isn't an option for many people.

I’d want to know how long she was sat with her coat on waiting; it’s harsh for them to have her bundled up waiting to go for ages.