Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

She is already doing uni work in the evenings. Did you miss those posts?

It’s not ideal leaving a child that small in nursery to 630, whether it’s offered or
not. Clearly other parents agree, or the child would not have been the last there. It’s about time management.

What degree did you study for?? I’ve gotten a STEM degree from a top 10 brick and mortar uni and it definitely took less work than the one I’m currently taking from OU (also STEM but different field), even though I’m now studying part time…

It’s true that it’s flexible but you do still need to put the hours in and those can be hard to find when juggling paid work, housework and kids.

How did the children bond?

The nursery closes at 6.30pm.

I’m sure there are children there until 6.30 on other days, otherwise the nursery wouldn’t be open until 6.30. If all children left by 6pm (for example) every day, they’d close at 6pm, wouldn’t they.

You say the manager laughed and explained that they wanted to go home. That sounds like she wasn't being snarky or angry, do maybe you just took it the wrong way? Just explain to them that you can't get there early on a Friday. They can't expect you to do so.

I can’t speak for that poster but my elder 2 were at school 5 days a week by the time my youngest was born and they bonded beautifully.

Ours closes at 6 and remind parents regularly that the doors close at 6, so they need to be there earlier to collect/ have a handover and put on coats etc. it’s not walk in at 559 then expect a 10 minute chat and leisurely dress your child/ get a snack etc.

The OP got there at 6.20. Plenty of time for a handover before the closing time of 6.30

I think it is pitiful how many people think that sending your child to a nursery that should be nurturing and homely and where the child’s needs should be met adequately should be cut short when you only send her one day a week! You’re trying to better yourself and provide a better life for her. Of course it was rude of them to call you. The hat and coat on etc isn’t too bad but it really depends on how long she was sat like that - more than 5/10 mins is a bit cruel isn’t it? She can’t play like that and she should still be being interacted with on the same way as she would at 10am, also it’s confusing to sit in your coat, I imagine even the youngest child would anticipate it means they’re going outside. I hate conflict so I would probably send something like this: Can I please check what time I am required to collect my child please? There seems to have been some confusion on Friday with staff members calling me (insert time) and mentioning she was the only child remaining in your care which made me feel incredibly guilty. I had intended to collect her at 6pm, is this going to be an issue going forward? If I am expected to collect by 5.30pm then my billed hours will need to be amended as I have agreed to pay into 6pm. Send it to the manager. They’ve clearly gotten used to people collecting early and enjoyed it (fair enough) but still something they should take on the chin when it comes to an end. Childminders are poor as well, I used to collect mine up to an hour early every week which was my choice but I once accidentally paid them a week less (about £10) and I couldn’t believe she asked me for the money really. She was well within her rights but I had been giving her an early finish for months and thought she could have let it slide.

Some nurseries are crap, my eldest son used to get sent home all the time ‘poorly’ he was just a crier the they didn’t like it. See how it goes and consider swapping if this attitude continues.

But school isn’t 11 hours a day. My eldest was at school when I had my youngest and they bonded well too, but I took the wee one to drop off and pick up and 6 hours is almost half of an 11 hour day.

Exactly!

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant that is rude and that is also very ignorant

The OP got there 10 mins before the nursery shut.

Perfectly well! They were still together before and after nursery and the other 4 days of the week...

My DD would have been in nursery doing 8-9 hours a day 3 times a week (age 2ish onwards, shes now 3 and iv finished uni) when I was in Uni doing my FT Psychology degree. YANBU atall those are the agreed hours for your child being in nursery care they were rude and you need this time for your studies! Even 3 full days a week wasn't enough for me a degree is really full on so make the most of every spare hour you can you need it! Your DD will be okay she will be tired but will be fine its 2 days a week not 5!!

Yeah I don't really see why they would have to be together all the time in order to bond. They live in the same house they get plenty of time to annoy each other 😅

I know. But according to some parents on this thread, nurseries expect pick up 10 minutes before closing and they called her 12 minutes before closing. Maybe just to remind her.

So the “10 hours a day” was one day?

Because the career she wants to go into is very competitive and requires a degree.

do you suggest she just doesn’t bother and sits on her bum until the kids have left home?

My god you're so judgemental about other people's childcare arrangements.

Absolutely agree. I generally tend towards siding with the school/nursery staff but this is not OK.

Don't understand why people are saying it's 11 hours: 8.30-6.30 is ten?

I’d complain about the comments from the staff and tell them how that made you feel.

Also say that in future you expect your child to be cared for in her room with normal access to toys, etc, until you collect her, rather than being made to made to wait in her outdoor clothes because they are impatient.