Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Are you a fan of the gender pay gap? Sad that we now have women consultants, judges and CEOs? I presume you are, as you don’t want women to be educated to degree level and to achieve success in the workplace. Why do you think that is?

OP don’t listen to this misogynistic nonsense!

What does it matter how many hours a week she's taking to study. She needs the childcare and she picked her daughter up before closing? My son did 10 hours on his first day when he was a year old and goes 4 days a week full time because I work and need the childcare. Pre Covid, my stepchildren did 11 hours a day 5 days a week from one year old because we all work full time and working in the office was the norm. She's entitled to use the hours of childcare that she's paid for, without feeling any guilt!

What exactly is going to change in a year or two? OP would still need to use nursery so she can study. It's always going to be a juggling act when you have DC.

I must have been an awful mother. I worked part-time when DD was young. She went to nursery two days a week 8.30 to 18.00. I got home at 16.30, but didn’t go and pick her up early. Never occurred to me to. I can’t remember if she was the last to be picked up, but it certainly didn’t bother her if she was. She’s 25 now and tells me I was a great mum - except I wouldn’t play with her Barbies and Disney princesses! (The nursery staff were never standing there with their coats on when I arrived and nor was she.)

I was being sarcastic to make a point. She was judging other mums for leaving their kids till 630. It was to try and make her see how she would feel if she was being criticised for leaving her kids till five. I can’t bear sanctimonious and misogynistic hypocrisy.

I’m a fan of women working full-time and a fan of using nurseries and did both!

They were completely out of order i would have been absolutely fuming! I understand the mum guilt though, mine is 13 now but I vividly remember waking up from a night shift one day to my mum banging on the door, toddler in hand and 15 missed calls from the nursery. He had been the last one there for ages until they got hold of my mum to pick him up, will never forget it! Although I laugh about it now and he had no clue at the time lol.

Please ignore all the posters questioning your childcare situation, you did not come on here for opinions on that and its absolutely no ones business. Your doing great.

Being ready and having the last child ready is fine phoning you is not. Aside from this it seems a long first day at nursery particularly a Friday when many people wfh or leave sharp. Everyone at my work left asap its the first week back to normal for many so that might also be why no other kids were still there

I am a full-time NHS hospital consultant so yes! I have worked beyond five and even had several years of doing 56h shifts ;-)
I relied on decent nurseries.

Err speak to the .manager. No need for theco.ments. Who ever spoke to you like that needs a stern reprimand and owes both you and your daughter an apology. Bang out of order..Do not let this go!

Your not being sensitive! They obviously are used to leaving early on a Friday as none of the other kids are there that late.. tough shit!!
I'd be fuming. I would be finding somewhere else.

i wouldnbt adjust your hours ot suit themn theyre being paid and are knocking off early ffs

see if it happens again then tell the owner

Says you who works away two to three night a week.

The thing is, the nursery did not behave professionally.

They did not call the OP early in the day to request an early collection, due to staffing, weather, whatever. They called her ten minutes before, to what end? To stress out the OP? They made passive aggressive digs. They potentially made the child anxious about her mum not being there.

Anyone defending this, has zero idea of appropriate behaviour in the workplace. I was surprised to see the teacher saying she should have done them a favour. Wonder how professional they are at work…

we’ve had exactly the same conversation but at 6pm, dd has been upset to see all her friends go home

Does she have kids? If so, I wonder why she had them if she was going to leave them behind, and perhaps she shouldn’t be a mother…

(obvs I don’t believe that). The hypocrisy is embarrassing.

They have probably got used to going home early on a Friday op. They were rude and unprofessional.

You are doing an amazing job op. Doing an OU degree alongside working and raising a small child is no mean feat.

If they close at 6.30 then as long as you pick up before 6.30 it should be fine. I've picked up my kids as close to closing as possible many a time and I've never walked in to everyone in jackets - he might be helping with the last bits of tidying up but it takes a second to put a coat on after they're gone!

Agree! Both my children went to nursery for 10 hours a day once they were 1 so I could work. I see that as no different to studying! Oh and also I left my oldest at nursery whilst I was on maternity leave - the horror that I needed a break with just the newborn baby!

I used to have this as work until 6pm on a Friday. Luckily they never said anything as Id been through them for a short cut.

The amount I was paying I just ducked my guilt down. I did buy lovely Xmas and birthday presents for his carers

Usual perfect MN mums giving their opinion on the length of time the child was at the nursery for …but to answer the question ..you are not being unreasonable to be annoyed at the “hats & coats brigade” waiting for you ! I wouldn’t complain at this stage but say “just for their info “ they should know that you won’t be getting there any earlier than 6.30 and would prefer it if your child wasn’t made in any way to feel you are “late” because that’s the agreed time . If they continue to make you feel bad , then take it further . We all know the Friday feeling but it doesn’t entitle anyone to an early finish. Really unprofessional .

This - I’d be furious… so cheeky of them. You pay until 6.30 and they shouldn’t be doing that.

Another point is, I noticed you said “all the staff” I’m sure they’d still be on ratio if they all went home and only two of them stayed (I know legally they’d be ok 1-1 but I suppose it’s in case there’s incident - but in any event two staying would suffice?)

Also I can’t believe the amount of people judging the OP for using a nursery - firstly her child’s welfare is no concern of yours, she’s entitled to put her there 5 days a week if she wanted to from start to finish! Secondly I can’t believe you’d be so judgemental of anybody’s circumstances, yet again you’ve gone for the women and not suggested Dad could change his whole life to accommodate childcare.

Shame on all you that judged.

Why is Friday any different to any other working day? The standard working week is 5 full days. Most of us don’t get the luxury of finishing early on a Friday. I picked mine up
at the same time on a Friday as any other day, because I worked the same hours on a Friday as any other day.

A you continually snarky? Does it make you feel like you have a good sense of honour to write like this?? Do you want to collect you ‘large circle of friends medal?

Anyway. Yes, I am surprised as generally these friends are choosing to leave their child til 630, it’s not out of necessity, just like OP. She is doing uni work. This can be done in the evening after baby is in bed. She’s not stuck out in her field or tending to the sick.

If they want a guarantee to leave before 6.30 on Friday, they need to amend their opening times. If they are open until 6.30, then you are well within your rights to collect up to 6.30pm.

Also, dont feel bad about using childcare to do your uni work. You've got to go what you've got to do. Yes, it might be a long day, but its a day you can study without distraction. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for using it while completing your degree. Not everyone has family and friends to rely on for regular childcare (or any childcare at all!)