Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Im not sure where i stand on the hats and coats because I wouldnt want a child to feel anxious.

My childs nursery states clearly that you must arrive to collect at least 10mins before closure to allow you time to speak to staff about what your child did for the day and pack up any coats etc. The staff are paid to, and leave at the time of closure so its not fair on them if parents are arriving at 6pm for example if thats when the nursery officially shuts as they would need to stay open later effectively to accommodate you. Im not sure if thats normal - i just assumed it was.

I realise this isn't the point of the thread but I just have to agree about the OU being harder than bricks and mortar. I did it the other way round from the OP. Two years OU and then bricks and mortar. The latter was a doddle compared to OU both in terms of time and support.

I would put in a complaint Your paying them to care for her until 6:30. You picked her up 10 minutes before that anyway so they’ve no reason to be calling you asking where you were. I’d be asking how long had she been sat there like that waiting they should still have been playing with her when you arrived and definitely not having a dig thats completely out of order and unprofessional I’ve worked in two nurseries and if i behaved like that i’d have been sacked.
Say to her can i just check it is actually 6:30 you close and and not 6 or whatever time they started calling you at. If having her until that time is too much trouble i will see if another nursery can accommodate her. What i saw when i arrived 10 minutes early looked very unprofessional and the way i was spoken to seemed very rude and unfair as were the two attempted calls asking where i was especially since you were getting paid despite you all just standing around with your coats on rather than interacting with my daughter i’d want to know how long they’d had her coat and stuff on instead of her being free to play.

Oh have a day off.

I’d complain to management. Cheeky fuckers.

I’d also be looking to move nursery tbh. They sound like they are more concerned clocking off a bit early than preventing a two year becoming upset before pick up, putting their selfish needs above hers. They should have been playing a game with her or something to distract her. It’s irrelevant if they feel it’s a long day for her - the nursery offers those hours and they are paid to work those hours.

It sounds to me like they are absolute chancers who have pulled this move on many parents and some now also pick up earlier as a result. I also think they perhaps see you as someone they can manipulate since they got you to do a Friday too as it’s quieter.

I’d be giving them a less than polite reminder of how much you are paying for this placement. Cheeky buggers. And they should not be sitting with coats on sending the message to your child that they’ve been forgotten. They should be constructively engaging her and making her feel welcome for the entire time she is there. Strong words with the manager I think.

What could be worse than complaining about someone who is ALONE. with your FOOD for any length of time.....????????
.. Answers on a postcard to HELL.

I would give them one more chance and if the same thing happens again on a Friday afternoon, I would speak to the manager, pointing out that you are picking up 10 mins before closing time and that the staff are unnecessarily upsetting your daughter by the coats and hats charade.

Honestly, I'd find a different nursery. I could swallow them being a bit arsey with me by speaking to their manager, but they made your toddler worry that you were late. I couldn't get past that, poor little kid.

My youngest is occasionally the last child picked up from nursery (his elder brother has medical appointments that make it unavailable). He loves it. His nursery workers tell him he's their special helper because he's so helpful and get him involved with clearing up. On other occasions I've seen him say in the cosy corner with one member of staff reading a story whilst the others get sorted. I've no problem with them prepping so they can leave as soon as nursery shuts, but there's never a reason to make the last children feel worried or unwelcome.

I think this is very well toned. I'd send this.

I'm sure she doesn't give a flying fig about her dad's important finance career either which sounds like takes up far more time than the whole 2 days of nursery OP uses for her studies.

Do you judge him too?

Just say 'I think there was a bit of confusion on Friday. It seemed as if the nursery was shutting early? As I had two missed calls (at X time) from staff saying they 'wanted to go home'. My daughter's hours finish at 6.30 on Fridays don't they? Same as the other days? If you could just clarify that would be great.'

OP ignore the absolute nonsense on here. I used to be astonished that my two DDs were always the last to be picked up at 5.50 when the nursery closed at 6. At £10+ per hour, who on earth is paying for hours they don’t use? It is ridiculous that some people are acting as if your study is somehow less important than a full time job, or that it’s somehow your problem that the nursery staff don’t want to work the hours they offered you. The nursery business model nowadays seems to be insisting everyone pay for very long days that they don’t expect most people to use - ridiculous.

as for “long days”, there is increasing evidence that a bit of structured preschool childcare a week is good for children, especially 2+. It’s also the case that girls who see their mums have careers are more likely to have careers themselves.

Honestly, I think sometimes women are their own worst enemy. We should support each other!

I know you’ve said Thursday would be better for you, but just in case nursery suggests Monday avoid it as you might end up paying for Bank Holidays and no provision.

I agree but I’d also have to briefly mention that Friday was offered due to it being quieter.

She did arrive 10 minutes early though and the nursery had already called her twice so how long had she been sat ready to leave? Would she have been sat ready at 6 had the poster arrived then? If a nursery closes at 6:30 but wants parents to arrive 10 minutes before closure so thebstaff can get away at 6:30 then they should state that nursery pick up is 6:20 at the latest not 6:30 and stop charging parents at 6:20 instead issuing a fine if the parent is late.

@N4ish

they agreed to the hours and were actually pushing OP for a Friday. So if they aren’t ‘on board’ now, it is tough shit quite frankly.

She was working until she needed to set off and arrived at the nursery at 6.20. Unhelpful and unkind comment. You don’t have to believe anything anyone says. You also don’t have to be so judgemental and unkind.

They are out of order.

DC went 7.30 to 6ish three days a week. I worked in a different city.

Some of the replies here are unbelievable. We had no other support. I never felt guilty.

I remember once the nursery calling me to collect my oldest because they wanted to close. There was no snow but it was expected. They knew we worked 20 miles away. Left work and got there as soon as I could, including getting a taxi from the station. Nursery manager asked to speak to me a few days later. They said I needed to be considerate of the staff in the nursery. I said that was their job. I wouldn't want anyone unsafe or unable to get home. There was no snow or ice, it was only expected. My commute time would not change and this would not work if I was expected to arrive earlier. I became self employed when DC started school.

Nursery staff were very unprofessional to call and be waiting with hats and coats on.

@Cantfindafreeusername

quite right! OP needs to quit her degree and stay home. Who does she think she is…trying to better herself!? Doesn’t she know she’s a mum now so no longer a person, she only exists in relation to her child now.

If dd is asleep at 7 get up and work while she sleeps, then take her to nursery.

@constantnc

you do know OP also needs sleep too right?

Haven't rtft but I work in a nursery. This absolutely is an issue between staff and management and I think you have to address it. It could be they were taking the piss or it could be they usually are gone by 6 as a casual agreement and management didn't clarify that they need to stay late. As you probably know, 2 staff need to be on the premises at all times even if there is only one child left. To be honest I wouldn't mind sitting near the door with the coat on, it takes a few mins to get a child ready and they probably have to mop and clean the room before leaving so one person probably stayed with DD while someone else cleaned. I also wouldn't take issue with a 'we want to go home' comment if it was friendly. I would however take a big issue with ringing you twice implying you were late, and the tone of the comments. Personally I'd ring rather than email and have a chat to the manager.

You could ask for a meeting with the manager to reach a common understanding of the service agreement. You could present not as making a fuss, but as taking their feedback/needs seriously. And in the meeting firm up their time requirement and how to meet your child’s needs.

edited to say I’ve not read the whole thread