Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

This would actually put me off the nursery as it's really unprofessional

I used to often be the last to pick up from the childminder - and she would just be giving my son the loveliest time to make sure he didn't notice!

HOWEVER. I would try to see if they need the benefit of the doubt - is this place run with the general rule that most kids are gone by 5?

If so I would really not be keen for my child to be the only one for 90 minutes - not because you are wrong to need the care! but because it's not nice for the child.

OP I would not respond to these idiots.

going early when you are being paid for the full slot IS taking the piss...if you have finished your allocated tasks, why not sit and have a chat with the older person? Are you rushing through tasks or allowing that older person to be more independent and maintain some skills in some aspects? Tasks aren't just practical in older adult care they are also about social contact and building a relationship. It's not that older persons fault the social care industry is so badly paid and managed, same as it's not the OP's fault regarding the childcare industry....you can still take pride in doing your job well.

Could your little one stay with her childminder on a Friday? I know she only does term time but at least that eases the situation a little, you could pick another 2 days at the nursery if you can stretch to the childminders wages in addition.
I’ve worked in a childcare setting and most parents do collect early on a Friday and it’s always hard for the last child on their own especially when smaller.
They shouldn’t have rang you and she shouldn’t have been sat there in her coat. I would look for another setting to be honest.
Do you have any family near by that can help? I know I would rather pick up my nephews/nieces from their setting at 5.30 on a Friday to help out my siblings and so they weren’t the last ones there.
Good luck with the degree, Mum guilt never ends so if it wasn’t this you were giving yourself a hard time over, it would be feeing awful about something else!

What a ridiculous comment.

She judges…

I don’t understand why some posters are being unnecessarily shitty to you @CheekyTealFawn. The nursery staff were rude and unprofessional. Yes, those hours are long for a little one but you know that and can’t really help it.
You were there ten minutes before they closed. If you were ten minutes late then fair enough.
I’d speak to them and say you’re studying until 6pm and you were under the impression that they closed at 6.30pm.
I’d be concerned that if they display this sort of attitude in front of you, what are they like behind closed doors?!
I’ve worked in an infant school and an after school club and we wouldn’t dream of having our coats and hats on BEFORE we actually closed!!!! They could have had a member of staff sat reading to your child while the others tidied away etc, so that they were ready to leave as soon as you had. So unprofessional.

It's because the OP isn't on the breadline and has the audacity to have and pursue aspirations for herself. That's unacceptable apparently, and a man's job.

Long hours in nursery is fine if the OP is struggling financially - the little MN wifies and mumsies can feel pity for them, then and feel super smug about their own financial position; but a mother daring to have ambitions for herself? Fuck no! Terrible mother!

I was a manager at an afterschool club for over 20 years. We closed at 6pm. From 5.30pm until we closed there’d be a staff member and myself there. Invariably there’d be one child left. That child had the undivided attention of the play worker. No mention of where was their parent. That child deserved the best until they were collected. Of course staff would like to get away earlier if possible but it’s the nature of the job and you know the hours when you sign your contract. No child should be made to feel worried or guilty and staff putting their coats on is clearly a way to do it.

This is really poor practice. In the first instant I would speak to the manager privately to outline your concerns. If there is no resolution then look at their complaints policy to see where you can go next.

im full of admiration for your work ethic and trying to provide the best future for you and your child. Good luck!

@itsallgonetomush

maybe next time you’re due to go the dentist or doctors you could skip your appointment to give them a little break? Staff deserve to be treated well after all

Yes, I completely understand that. However OP seems to have flexibility and not be tied to fixed hours work. Ultimately it's the choice of her and her child's father to have their daughter in nursery for an 11 hour day but it does sound as if nursery are not fully on board with that in this case so they may need to find an alternative option.

I’m amazed by the shit OP is getting for having her daughter in nursery two full days a week when so many people work full time jobs and their kids are in for full days EVERY day. I guess a lot of the people judging are in very fortunate positions.

That’s exactly what a lot of people would say @Cococatcococat and a lot of it was the travel time.

Typically, you’d have anything between eight and twelve people to see in a ‘shift’ (there were four: morning, lunch, tea and bed.) A lot of the work was hard physical work involving lifting, using hoists and other mobility aids in homes that often weren’t designed for them. Then it would be on to the next person and in peak travel times, especially in the morning when the schools were open and around tea time that could take ages.

So your rota might say

Mary Jones 8-830
George Williams 835-905

but actually it would take ten minutes at least to get from Mary Jones to George Williams and also as much as not every client took exactly thirty minutes some went over (and don’t get me started on when some poor person had a fall and we had to wait hours for an ambulance …)

It would in practice if we did thirty minutes for every client mean you’d go from your morning shift to the lunch one with no break, no chance to get anything to eat or clear your head a bit, just working straight through. Obviously that wasn’t sustainable and what it meant in practice was people just didn’t stay in the job long: I didn’t. And unfortunately I see this in nursery staff too - I love my children’s nursery but there has been high turnover of staff which is hard to ignore.

It isn’t my responsibility to improve working conditions but I do think if we want excellent quality care from anyone - care worker or nursery / childminder or retail staff - meeting them halfway and trying to make their life easier is a start.

Are you always this easily confused, poor lamb?

To be fair I’m sat on my ass while DD is in ballet; I can post on here but I can’t really do an assignment or anything! I find MN and things like instagram, Facebook, are kind of a link to the outside world with small children: keep meaning to spend less time … should really try …

I think a better comparison would be if they rang me up and asked if they could move my appointment forward as I’m the last one or the day.

If I couldn’t I’d politely say I’m afraid i can’t. It it if I could I would … why wouldn’t you?

I thought ‘seeking revenge’ on a nursery was childish and didn’t want to go down to your level, which was why I edited the comment.

I don’t have advice for the OP, nor did I claim to.

I’ve only skimmed the thread but it’s ridiculous how many people seem to think that is too long at nursery when it’s only two days a week! What do they think people who work do? If you were working instead of studying would their answers be different? For what it’s worth both my kids do 8-5.30/6 every week day in nursery and have done since they were one. So do most of the kids in their nursery. It’s totally normal and kids are fine, well adjusted and loved. It is not right for your nursery to be acting like this. Ours are sometimes the last on a Friday or in school holidays but the nursery staff are nothing but kind and the kids enjoy some special 121 time and definitely aren’t made to feel bad for being the last there.

She’s fixed her own hours of study to ensure completing her course fits around their family life. You don’t know the bigger picture. Why judge?

@CheekyTealFawn that would make me want to change the nursery they are clearly more interested in going home than looking after your child. And to do that to your child sit by the door waiting for you is disgusting. They do not appear to care about the kids. My kids have been in nursery and never once had anything like this it was really professional x

OU being flexible isn't a magic wand that magics away the demands of uni. Just stop.

Do you know what else is flexible? Nursery pick-up time within defined opening hours.

@Soontobe60

OP shouldn’t have to be studying in the early hours of the morning!

big difference between pissing about on mumsnet and writing an essay! Just because she can do the former absolutely doesn’t mean she can do the latter! She’ll be tired! Where is your compassion for a woman who sounds like she is doing her very best??

Would they have had her sitting at the door with her coat on until 6.25? I assume you signed a contract stating her hours? This is not ok. I’d be livid! Did they let you know that she would likely be the only one from 4.30 as children tend to get collected early on Fridays? It doesn’t matter whether you’re at home studying, out shopping, or at work. What you do when your child is in their setting is none of their business.
I’d let them know that you require childcare until 6.30 and if they are unable to provide it on a Friday anymore then request the day is changed, or find an alternative

She does feel bad for her kid. She does feel guilty. What does it achieve? And what does it achieve for you to point your imperious fucking finger at the OP?

As someone who worked in a dentist I know exactly how quick that appointment would be when last of the day.. If you came in earlier because second last cancelled it would be way more thorough... And I wasn't the dentist so not up to me and I've worked in several practices all did the same thing...🤷‍♀️
Although this dentist analogy isn't relevant to the OP.