Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

This! ⬆️ They were so bloody rude! They're open till 6:30pm. Pick up was agreed at 6:30pm. You've paid till 6:30pm. It makes no difference what day of the week it is. It's their job to fulfill the contract you have. Your poor daughter. I would 100% complain.

Fuck me, i wish I'd got here sooner, I could have made a fortune selling boots for posters to stick in.

OP, honestly just ignore. Its not worth your time replying.

As pp have said, email the nursery asking them to confirm pick up time and making it clear you will not be picking your child up early.

What you do in the time they agreed to care for your child is nobody’s business but yours@CheekyTealFawn and they need to stick with it. Or, they have her until 6.30 on Thursday or you go somewhere else. The rest is irrelevant.

Tbh we pay til 6 and I always go for 5 and I’m always surprised when friends have their kids in til 630, feels very late. However, you pay for it so they should be expecting you at 630 unless you tell them otherwise. They should be making sure daughter knows you’ll be ‘on time’ and all is well.

There is but it doesn’t really matter. She’s paid until half past so she’s using the time to work. You’re showing the lack of imagination again. Some people work better if they know they have a block of time to get it done. Or maybe they know they’ll feel more present with their child if they don’t feel like they have to get back to working later in the evening. Children sometimes wake up and need you - you can’t rely on a child being in bed as a good time to work. It’s also easier to work if you’re not tired yourself. There are so many reasons a person might have the set up the OP has. It’s not to be sneered at just because you lack the imagination to understand.

@itsallgonetomush

staff can be treated well and still work their contracted hours

Telling someone they’re being judgemental when they have presented you with that fact isn’t being judgemental - it’s stating the obvious. I was commenting specifically on people who have shown an anti-childcare attitude and a lack of understanding that people’s schedules might differ from their own. I wouldn’t be ashamed for my child to hear me call someone out for being judgemental and lacking empathy, I would be ashamed for them to see me judging people who are trying to do their best for their family now and in the future.

Yes, I'd complain. Getting your DD and themselves ready to leave and 'waiting' in an obvious way is what will have caused DD to become anxious because she'd pick up that you 'should' be there but weren't. Regardless of the time (which if its 630, its 630) this isn't the right way to have handled it with a child.

OP could be using that last hour to write an essay, go to the gym, get her nails done. Whatever, it really doesn’t matter

Just likes an argument I think I mean this wasn't thread worthy to begin with for most logically thinking adults and any post against what she wants to hear gets roasted... as she has admitted she can't help herself but to respond to argue further so based on the posts made here by the OP I'm sure I can guess how the exchange went at the child care when she was spoken to. I've gone from they probably should just do it until the time they advertise to feeling sorry for them not only to they have to manage toddlers each day they then need to fend off OTT argumentative parents too... I know where I live they get paid peanuts to do that God awful job so they definitely don't get enough money to handle argumentative adults too.... Christ.

I am hugely pro nursery for toddlers and both my children were in nursery 4 days a week from the age of 1. I still think 11 hours is far too long for a 2 year old and I would do absolutely anything in my power to avoid having a child of mine have that long a day.

Our nursery day finished at 6pm and we had to pay until then but still always collected our children by 5pm at the latest. I don't understand parents who have to get their last penny out of nursery by leaving their children in until the final minute.

Also the whole thing that OP should pick up her daughter spend time with her then in the evening when she’s in bed then write essay - bullshit! OP is a person not a Duracell bunny at some point she is going to get tired, too tired to write an essay. It’s likely by that point she’s not capable of working. Some people might be, some wouldn’t be , OP might be the latter and that’s fine - one of the many reasons why nurseries exist

@N4ish

you really can’t understand it? You can’t understand that some parent can’t be done with work and have travelled from work to nursery by 5pm?? Why is this so difficult for you to understand?

I'm so sorry that happened, I'd be trying to find another nursery ASAP and I would complain to them.

Once I was working New Year's Eve. All the other staff had gone home and I had to stay, as couldn't leave the department unstaffed. When I arrived at the nursery my DC was the last one there, which I feared but there was nothing I could do! The staff certainly weren't waiting there in their coats or made me feel awkward though. So no, they were both unreasonable on two counts - calling you and expecting you to collect earlier than paid for hours and waiting there in coats.

Because most parents aren’t studying 30hrs a week with only 2 days of childcare covered.

OP didn’t ask for your opinion on her childcare time.

Sure but IMO in this particular instance it isn’t treating them well, or the DD. I know some don’t like that view but it is what i honestly think.

Of course sometimes a 6pm or later pick up is unavoidable and many people have no choice at all about having their children in childcare for very long days. I completely understand that.

However this isn't the case for the OP and her child's father and it seems they have flexibility to make different choices. I can't see why his 'finance' job means he's completely off the hook in this situation.

Absolutely! Anyone who crosses me I destroy!

Nah I’m kidding. I said maybe the word annoying would have been better to use. I forget where I am sometimes.

You are welcome to look over the 2 previous posts where they also became a little overwhelmed by my use of the word revenge 🤣 Won’t happen again. Or it may. I don’t know.

I agree. It's snarky and unintelligent.

Op my daughter in until 6pm everyday. Not everyone has 9-5 jobs and dont let pps make you feel disheartened. You are doing your best for her.

It doesn’t matter why you, or anyone else is using a nursery . To be honest you could be doing it so you could go home and back to bed, it’s your choice and doesn’t need to be justified to anyone else.

I agree that the staff have been both rude and unprofessional here. It might be that they are used to leaving earlier on a Friday. It might be they are only paid to 6.30. That’s an issue they need to resolve with whoever is in charge, not you. That person might then get back to you, suggesting another day, or better still paying staff the extra time. The suggesting it was an issue for your DD is particularly unreasonable in my opinion. If she was in fact asking for you, their job is to explain you are on the way, showing the time on the clock if necessary.

I hope you get it sorted, and all the best for your studies.

Jesus, you don't understand 'finance' jobs then...

You can’t understand that people might have their children in nursery until the end time, not because they want to get their money’s worth, but because they can’t get them before then?

To be fair the poster did ‘start it’ with a snarky comment themselves so I understand why the OP bit back. I would have too.

I think that’s the problem with this thread. I don’t think anyone actually doesn’t understand that some jobs have fixed shift patterns and that means that you just can’t leave. And even with flexible jobs sometimes stuff happens. But this isn’t what happened here.

And there was extreme weather yesterday as well.