Nursery teachers snarky comment

[CheekyTealFawn]

I’m livid, wondering whether to bring it up or just leave it if I’m overreacting.

DD is 2 yrs 9 month old, and just started nursery today. She’ll go 2 days per week, 7.30am-6.30pm.

I work two jobs (one evening and one Saturday per week), as I am studying 30 hours per week for my BA in English, which I do on my childcare days, in nap times, and every free evening I have. So, I could really use every minute of help I can get.

I dropped DD off at 8.30am no problems. When I go to pick her up, I get there at 6.20pm. I see I have two missed calls from the nursery. I ask why they called, worried, and the manager laughed and said “because we want to go home.” I was confused, and said “oh, I’m so sorry, I thought pick up was before 6.30?” And she pulled a face and said “yes, but it’s Friday and your daughter is the last one here, and she has been waiting and asking for you and wondering why she is the only one”

All of the staff had their hats and coats on waiting by the door when I arrived. DD was also sat by the door with her hat and coat on looking out the window waiting for me. it’s made me feel like the worst mum, and extremely embarrassed as I felt like the staff were all looking at and judging me. My daughter loved her first day, seems very happy there, but I don’t know whether to say something to the manager about it?

I understand it’s Friday and of course the staff want to go home, but I didn’t initially want Fridays, but they made me pick that day since it was quieter and we’re only part time, to make room for more full time children on the other days .

i don’t know what I’d say, and I don’t know if mum guilt at leaving my daughter there last is making me more sensitive, but now I’m anxious to leave her there until 6.20, even though I could really use it since I’m constantly playing catch up with my university work because I’m forever lagging behind due to not being able to afford enough childcare.

am I being sensitive? Should I say something? If so, what?

Yes thank you!!! OU is 30 hours per week studying the module material and doing the exercises, then I have assignments twice a month, and the reading all year round (which I do in bed at night and get up before DD to do, audiobooks while cooking) on top of that.

definitely a better fit

I thought they might be! just had to check they weren’t seriously suggesting I was unreasonable for collecting during a time I paid for, instead of the nursery just changing their hours and charging me less, because I thought there’s just no way a reasonable person would suggest that 🤔

So do you use every minute? I’m genuinely asking.

I’m a teacher and I can leave work at 315, although I generally stay until around 4. I pick DD up at 415; I wouldn’t sit outside in the car until 530 which is when it is paid for.

I suppose I just think the staff don’t earn much, it’s cold, it’s dark, it’s the weekend, it’s a win for everybody if they get to go a bit early. 6pm is still quite late. With a lot of things there’s a difference in what is permissible and what feels comfortable and right to you and this wouldn’t to me.

‘Intimidated’?
’seeking revenge’?
Strange way to look at this!

Well that's on the nursery to pay their staff for 15-30 minutes after the last child has left to give them a buffer. It really isn't the responsibility of the paying customer. It might 'grate' with them but I would be livid if people being paid to care for my toddler were being so unprofessional. Being desperate to leave isn't an excuse to guilt trip a mum and to subtly wind up a 2 year old and give her the impression that her mum doesn't care enough when said mum is picking her up on time

8.30am till 6.30pm is quite a long day though, even for a child that's almost 3. Especially when you're not actually working?

So when you start work and your hours are 9-5 you’ll go home for an hour and then pick up at 620 because you’ve paid for it - it’s your right but isn’t really very pleasant.

I was a sahm to my dc because I wanted to and we could afford it (just). But that was right for me. Doesn't mean it's right/possible for everyone else.

As a former nursery worker I find their behaviour appalling. I would have given your dd all my attention so that she barely noticed the other kids had left. Not only because I am professionnal but also because I've got something called empathy. Apparantly they are neither professionnal nor do they really care about a child's wellbeing.

I would talk to the staff and manager and say (hypocritically) that you don't want to stand in the way of them leaving early on fridays so wouldn't it be better to switch days to thursdays. Because you can not make it earlier than 6:20. See what they say.

That’s because you finish at 4. You’re no better or worse than a different parent who finished at 6 and picks their kid up at 6.30, you just have different circumstances

ahhh so you haven’t read any of this at all. My hours are not 9-5 😂😂

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but if she is the only child there then why do all the staff need to wait? If they are going down the unofficially closing early route then they can make sure they maintain their ratios and unofficially send the rest of the staff home at 6pm or whatever. Although anything unofficial is on dodgy ground!!!

It all sounds very negative. Not how the relationship should be starting off.

I think the email telling them "I am at work until 6pm every Friday so I need childcare until 6.30pm every week" is the way to go. Cheeky feckers.

It doesn’t to me and you said she needed therapy.

I actually agree with her that children in the UK spend too much time in paid childcare, though in your case it’s only two days a week.

However, she’s entitled to her opinion without her mental health being questioned.

OP, stick to your guns. You are absolutely in the right re picking up your DD.

I admire you for working so hard to secure a better job in the long term, and find it baffling that people should pile on you for that - this is Mumsnet, where to be a SAHM is frowned upon!

Please, please keep us updated what happens with nursery, and good luck with your degree.

I’m not explaining this again. Either read up the rest of the thread or keep your opinions on the childcare hours to yourself since they are ill-informed and therefore not helpful

Charming. No point in an AIBU if you ignore people’s opinions.

So you weren’t in a physical building then? I too think leaving your DD so late was poor. You’d have basically picked her up, got her home, fed her and put her straight to bed!
when I was at uni (DD was 14 months when I started) I would pick her up asap, spend time with her and once she was in bed do a couple of hours more study.
In addition, you’re seeming to claim nursery forced you into having Fridays, but they are a business and allocate part time days in the best way to suit their business need. On top of that, the nursery staff will only be paid minimum wage for the hours nursery is open. If you had turned up at 6.30 expecting DD to still be playing then faffed about for 10 minutes getting her shoes and coat on the likelyhood is that the staff would have not left until 6.45. If that happens every day they’d be underpaid on a weekly basis.

It’s not ill informed to know that leaving a 3 year old in childcare for 11 hours isnt ideal and in your situation wasn’t strictly necessary.

And I’m also entitled to have my opinion that anyone who questions why other mums should have kids just because they work to provide for their family is either a terrible person or is just very, very sad

It is when I’ve explained why it was strictly necessary 😂

When I was at university my DS attended the nursery on site. My course had a late night finish (5.30) once a week and invariably he was the only child still there when I collected him. The staff were OK but my DS was always upset because he didn’t know where I was and the other children had gone home. This was a taught course so I couldn’t do anything about it but I hated those late evenings.
I understand the pressure of getting assignments done but maybe try to see it from your child’s point of view too and adjust your hours if possible.

First of all, I turned up well before 6.30. Second of all, your point about part time hours is irrelevant, because you confirm I was required to pick Fridays. Third, I can either put her in 3 days per week and pick her up a couple hours early, or put her in 2 days a week for the full amount of time. I know which I’d prefer.

So if you go to Sainsbury’s at 7.55 for a pint of milk the minimum wage staff should close at 7.50 so they can walk out the door at 8.00?

If the op has been told they close at 6.30 then that’s all she’s got to go on. She can’t be responsible for when the staff are paid until.

Absolutely agree

the staff were completely unprofessional

and ignore all the arsehole misogynists criticising your choices

Just ignore it OP. You are working your arse off to ensure a better future for your family. I admire you.

You don’t mention a partner in any of this. Are you parenting alone?

Thank you! ❤️ I have a wonderful partner, but he works long hours as he’s in finance, so Monday-Friday it’s just me and DD until he gets home and we do the bedtime routine together!