To find it hard to care about men's issues

[Parsleyforme]

Men's cancer, diseases and suicide I do care about, but I am really struggling to care about the other modern problems of modern men.

My brother says that the modern men of today are very confused about who they should be and how they should act and that is giving them all identity crises and/or midlife crises, depending on their ages. Things like they get told that men as a whole are bad, they don't know who they are as a man anymore, they don't know how much they should show their feelings, they feel guilt even if they're a good man, they don't know what they're supposed to bring to relationships anymore etc. etc.

I'm finding it quite hard work enough to be a woman without having to worry about or really hear about men's issues as well. And I'm actually quite frustrated that I'm being expected to provide a understanding and sympathetic ear. I went to a girl's school and when I left Barbieland I had to pretty quickly catch on that lotss of men are creeps and women aren't actually at the top of any industry or even their own relationships. It actually angers me a bit that I'm expected to feel something for the men who are feeling unsettled when all we've really managed is to get them to stop wolf-whistling at us or sacking us if we get pregnant.

AIBU to feel like this? WIBU to say I don't really have the bandwidth (read:patience) for this and maybe he should talk to some men who can empathise rather than a woman?

so?
i am all in favour of equal conscription to appropriate roles.
but it doesn't mean that it isn't men starting all the wars. And one single female exception (Thatcher) proves only that (as we know) she tried to out testosterone all the men around her.

and your point is what? that i'm not solving the homelessness issue?
I didn't say it wasn't true. I haven't even said i'm not contributing to charities to help alleviate that (I do)

I just can't care about it in the same way i care about other issues.

That’s really great to hear .
It reminds me of looking for a sleeping bag and asking my kids if they’d seen it and my son saying oups forgot to tell you..I took it and gave it to a homeless man💕 ( proof that today’s men are not so bad 😉) I live in a capital city so maybe things are different here but it seems to be a majority of men that are sleeping rough.

It’s humans who happen to be men starting wars. Not all human’s are the same. Not all men are guilty for what some men have done just as not all women are guilty for what some women have done. In any case in democratic countries those leaders waging war were elected by both. men and women.

I’ve no doubt that it disproportionate the affects men but as I said there is reason for that
We are very aware, familiar and know A great deal of our rough Sleepers and most of them have been housed by the council at some stage and are out on the street due to their behaviour.
Not to say that the system doesn’t let people down. It absolutely does releasing them out of rehab straight back into the same scenarios, never gonna end well and that does happen.
But equally goes back to personal responsibility.
They are given money and if they wanted to relocate themselves out of rehab, they could jump on a train and go somewhere else
Typically, they don’t and the dealers catch hold of them the same day as they are discharged

I was agreeing with you actually 😉
. I personally think it’s a huge thing and at the root of many of society ‘s problems so for me one of things I really care about.

Me too. Men are 49% of the population. How can we say we just don’t care? The gender divide affects us all - the more disenfranchised and disillusioned men become, the poorer our relationships will be, the more violent crime and suicide there will be, and a hundred other problems.

Men literally don’t know what to do these days or who they are supposed to be. They feel like they’re the enemy. To some extent this is caused by the subjugation and violent oppression of women for centuries, but if you’re a perfectly well-meaning 55-year-old white men these days that isn’t directly your fault.

You only have to read some of the animosity and misandry on this site to see the hatred that’s directed at them.

Would you want that for your son, or brother or father who’s done nothing wrong but inherited a patriarchy they didn’t create?

😂

Don't know what you're bitching at me for, I'm not the one posting any of things you've mocked here. I was simply calling out someone being an arsehole.

Maybe improve your own comprehension skills before insulting other people calling them a self proclaimed academic with snarky little strike through writing, it looks petty 😂 Though to be honest I can't take anyone who bleats on about "menz" seriously because that looks childish too.

over the years, I’ve seen a few posters asking for help overcoming disappointment with having boy babies. Like I say, on here I think it’s fear of lack of closeness over the long term, rather than man-hating!

But there are so many really basic things the men in your example could do to be better. Their domestic excuses are so pathetic. They 'don't see' the mess that needs cleaning up - really? They don't see the used dishes or the full dishwasher? They don't see the full laundry basket? They don't see the grime in the sink or bathtub? Bullshit. They choose not to see it or do anything about it.

They don't understand that gaming all night means neglecting your family? They don't understand that their kids want daddy to read to them or put them to bed? Nonsense. They leave women to do all that.

As for 'they're hard wired to be the provider ' - balls to that too. They have but to take a look at all the women who work and earn and pay their way. They need to accept and appreciate that.

Surprised by the voting on this. There isn't a violin teeny enough as far as I'm concerned. A good start would be for all men just to acknowledge the benefits that male privilege has bestowed, and continues to bestow, on them before they even get up each morning.

I think the fact that there are plenty of perfectly simple things that men could do to
make a better society and they just don’t do them is so very depressing and enraging.

@Jade3450always important to check you are not using misandry and feminism as synonyms. It’s often done.

That's because women who identify with one of those labels most often identifies with the other one too. They go hand in hand.

The vibe on the feminism board is definitely misandry, like all the posters here complaining about how much they hate men and don't give a shit about them. Anyone saying that about women would be called a misogynist, and rightly so. You can't have a group of women behaving that way and just call it feminism definitely not misandry!! You can't brush I HATE HALF OF THE POPULATION AND DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM AND THEIR SUICIDE RATE BECAUSE ITS THEIR OWN FAULT off as feminism. I know you're trying to buy you just can't.

As for gender disappointment, I can get it. Part of the reason I am childfree is that I do not want a daughter. If I could be guaranteed a son or sons I would have been willing to get pregnant. However, the way people have reacted when I have shared this has been with shock, to the extent that I haven't mentioned it in awhile! I would be very surprised if I'd had the same reaction if I said I only wanted a girl. In fact, I know I wouldn't. Several of my friends had gender disappointment with their boys, and weren't shy about saying so.

Ha! When I was pregnant with b/b twins i lost count of the number of people saying 'what a shame at least one isn't a girl.'
I even had a random nutter literally rub my (fucking huge!!) belly and say 'be girls, be girls' like she was doing me a favour.
There is definitely a bias towards girls in this country although I accept that absolutely isn't the case worldwide.

Same

Nice strawman, but nobody is saying that. What we are saying is that men's problems are largely of their own making and in many ways relatively easy to fix with minor changes in behaviour. So why don't men make those changes then? Do only women have to take personal responsibility?

I care about myself, my family and friends. In precisely that order. The rest of the world can go to hell with their bullshit 'ishoos'. Most of those issues are self-caused due to their own stupidity, lack of common sense, lack of resilience and pure idleness. That goes for both men and women.

Not talking about actual issues like wars, famine, etc.

For the avoidance of doubt-misandry and feminism are not synonyms. However much misogynists try to say they are.

I have sons so I care about younger male issues however adult men can fuck off with their bullshit my father taught me to cook keep myself clean change light bulbs etc he never once thought that was beneath him my ex husband wouldn't even teach his son how to ride a bike and after 10+ years apart STILL expects me to do the wife work to keep him involved and informed when I tried he claimed I was harassing him (I asked ONCE if he was still coming to a hospital appointment his girlfriend threatened me with a police visit 😂) so I stopped i took on a tell once remind never approach now ive "alienated him" from his children 🤐 women cant win they are wrong for everything they do so a lot of us have taken to doing nothing i cant be blamed if im not doing anything and guess what? ITS STILL MY FAULT

Fuck this BULLSHIT

Of course they aren't. But many feminists are misandrists too. Some are one but not the other but many are both and pointing that out does not make someone a misogynist, however much you want it to.

Feminists are oppressing men on the basis of their sex? Where in the world do women hold that sort of power over men?

Misandry is a made up term coined by MRAs

I think there are plenty of toxic behaviours that women are over-represented in. But I don’t think any of them come close to the levels of harm of wanton and murderous violence, which is overwhelmingly a man thing.

Interesting question about under what hypotheticals women might be worse.

I think if the physical strength advantage were reversed then the numbers might even up a bit. I think I’ve seen studies that say that the rate of domestic violence in lesbian relationships is high, for example. But I think there are also evolutionary drivers of why men are so much more violent than women (especially at the extreme tail) which stems from the different biological reproductive roles. Crudely put: at an individual level very violent men can have a lot of descendants by force. And at a societal level men are more disposable than women for maintaining a population, so having a portion of them be extreme risk-takers makes sense as an evolutionary strategy in a way that having extreme-risk-taking women never could.