We’ve hurt the birthday boy’s feelings?

[sidneytweeney]

So my son who is 8 has been invited to his friend’s birthday party next weekend. Another mum who I am friends with has asked me to take her son to the party too as she is working (he’s been invited.) I’ve agreed to do this and to help my friend out further, her son is going to be having a sleepover at mine in the night of the party. (Mum friend is a single parent, works as a nurse) The birthday boy is staying at his grandparents after his party in order to see extended family for his birthday. Birthday boy’s mum texted me this morning to say that I had disappointed birthday boy by organising a fun sleepover to which birthday boy can’t come. She said I had ‘taken the shine off his special day.’ Unless I’m missing a higher chunk of social awareness , this woman is batshit right?

I would absolutely tell everyone because it will get back to her and she will know she has made a fool of herself. I also wouldn't have replied to her text which I should imagine would drive her nuts.

I'd have replied with 'oh so now we're disappointing 3 boys? Got it!'

Silly twat will only hurt her own child.

It's pretty obvious she's jealous of the real and lovely group that you've formed with the other mums, she's just bitter.

Yes so would I. Definitely get my side out there first with everyone else.

This poor woman’s kid doesn’t stand a chance with behaviour like this to deal with from his own mother. Absolutely batshit. I’m aghast!

I’m guessing that the party place is open to the public so if you were inclined you could just take them anyway?

What a stupid woman. Her son will grow up with no resilience and expect mummy to sort out all his problems and disappointments in life. OP you have come across as far more mature and gracious. I’m sure your son and friend will have a lovely afternoon with you.

I’ve been privy to some lunacy at the primary school gate OP but this really takes the biscuit. I did know a Mum whose son was a bully (think bouncing heads off of sinks) and she had every excuse in the book for him. She told me once in conversation ‘if you hurt my son, you hurt me.’ Er, no? I would stay well away from your Mum from now on. Eventually she will reap what she has sown!

What a lunatic. And how cruel to disinvite two boys to a birthday party. Her son will be disappointed as well.

@sidneytweeney Unfortunately for her son I would avoid having anything to do with that batshit crazy woman again. He will lose friends because of her.

Def plan something fun for the boys to "make up" for the bday party. Doesn't have to be expensive- just make sure to include sweets and they'll be grand.

What a lunatic. And how cruel to disinvite two boys to a birthday party. Her son will be disappointed as well.
Totally. The birthday boy will be far more affected by losing two friends from his party than what happens afterwards. I feel really sorry for him

Omg. I can not believe she has done this.
Take the 2 kids out and have a fab time.
Your response is perfect.

She wanted a drama and you didn't give it to her. Shameful woman and I hope she sees this thread.

wow! She’s a lot isn’t she?

I see she has no qualms about disappointing two other 8 year olds.

If I were you I’d take them to this party place for the afternoon.

Omg that’s horrible! What a ridiculous woman.

I’d be tempted to take the boys to the same
soft play at the same time as the party 😆

Oh those middle women ruining everything and their entitlement

This thread has brought out lots of bat shit people 🤣

This

I would give this woman a massive swerve. She’s a nightmare!

I'd be tempted to reply along the lines of "Seems a pity to punish two children for one mother's childcare problems".

I suppose you know now not to accept any further invitations to this child's house, in case they get withdrawn.

OMG this is unhinged. What’s she going to do if she finds out one of the other boys still invited is going to the cinema after the party? Or another is going for a pizza? Or another is going to meet another friend? That will ruin birthday boy’s special day too.

Mum has done more to ruin the day for her son by uninviting his two mates. Poor lad.

That poor boy (the birthday one). I think you have to take the high road and not be tempted to be petty or drawn into any further gossip or drama for his sake. What have you said to your son?

Wow, what a cunt she is.
I feel sorry for her son, being brought up with ideas of 100% entitlement and zero resilience.
I wouldn't have replied at all, but I think your 'no problem' response will piss her off; I think she wants drama.

I was an only child who craved the company of other children and I must say something like that would have upset me. Not your fault at all but being shipped off to adults on the day of your birthday is such a comedown for a child. The two boys are probably bragging about it at school no matter how much you think they aren't. It's obviously upsetting him a lot and he may not mention it to your dc but he's probably crying about it to his Mum.. I can see both sides.

I would tell them the truth but make sure that you keep your language neutral and also that your son knows that this isn’t the birthday boy’s fault in any way.

I would strongly avoid any drama with the other mother because that’s a bizarre decision, which will have a negative knock on impact on her child.

Oh wow .. what a cow! Her poor child! She is going to absolutely ruin his friendships if she carries on this way...

I'd take your your son and his friend out to do something fun instead before their sleepover.

There are no 'sides' here. Birthday boy's mum has failed to teach her son that not everything is about him. He's having a party; friends are coming round. Yet she's focused on childcare arrangements outside of it that were enabling one of his friends to actually come to the party! Stupid!

Is the soft play exclusive use? If not and you were planning to take your son/nurse's son out there's nothing to stop you rocking up there is there?

Your reply to her batshit text was more magnanimous than mine btw. I'd have just gone with 👍

wow… Maybe birthday boy is upset with his mum at having to finish his own birthday party at 3 to go and see family when it’s a venue he’d like to stay at…. Well, it’s her choice to do that and she is batshit to take it out on you. How would the birthday boy even know you were not just dropping the other kid home?!

I do wonder how the sleepover first got mentioned. It seems strange to me how they even know about it in the first place?

Also ‘under the circumstances’ tells me she has deffo seen the thread 🤣🤣

This is what I was do. Just say “sorry X felt left out. Wasn’t intentional - sleepover was pre arranged to help X with children due to work commitments and entirely separate from the party. Happy to have birthday boy over next time.”