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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not become Mrs Celebrity Name?

299 replies

SummerFate · 08/01/2026 17:27

I’m getting married later this year and had always assumed I’d take my husband’s name. I’ve never been particularly attached to my maiden name (divorced parents) and I’d like to have the same surname as my kids, which my mother doesn’t have.

However, if I do do this, I’ll have the same name as a celebrity. It’s not an A lister where it would be remarked on all the time, and it will still be a fairly ordinary name. (Think someone like Kaye Adams for the level of fame and ordinariness of name.) But it’s someone well known enough that I’ll definitely get “Ooh, I didn’t recognise you! You look taller on the telly” type jokes that I can do without. So I figure it’s just easier to keep my maiden name.

However, my fiancé has taken exception to this. He’s taking it personally and says I’m being daft: he said he’d understand me not wanting to be called Helen Mirren or Nicole Kidman, but that I’ll still have an ordinary name and that this celeb may be forgotten in a few years anyway.

I do get what he means, but he’s not the one who’ll be asked “Ooh, like the actress?” every time he gives his full name. I’ve also pointed out that a lot of women don’t change their name regardless, so he could have been marrying someone who never had any intention of being Mrs Name.

I’ve said we could double-barrel any children if that’s what he’s worried about, but he’s still complaining. AIBU?

OP posts:
SerafinasGoose · 09/01/2026 11:45

Since then we are Dr and Mr Cartwright or whatever.

I love this. I absolutely love it!

DH and I don't share a family name - we have our own - but this reminds me of a story I've shared before on MN. I booked flights on United Airlines in the US - Dr Myname (Passenger 1), Mr Hisname, (Pax 2) and DC (Pax 3). Booked on my credit card, my name, my title. I had to laugh when I checked the booking online and I had been demoted to Pax 2 - DH, as Mr, had been defaulted to Pax 1.

He laughed like a drain (bastard!) and ofc, I joined him because I couldn't not see the funny side. But it's just another story of how this casual sexism is simply everywhere.

It's very often assumed that of the two of us, he's the Dr. In fact, I'm Dr and he's Mr.

Cheese55 · 09/01/2026 12:14

Is it jane macdonald?

Thebigfellaisnowsnoozing · 09/01/2026 12:17

I didn't take dh's surname as it was a bit amusing alongside my job..
Think Mrs Pen if you were a writer..
When we got engaged I took his first name as my surname..
Our dc are first name +dh's first name (so I have the same surname as dc).
Would that work?
So if your dh is Peter you become Op Peter...

Aluna · 09/01/2026 12:19

Cheese55 · 09/01/2026 12:14

Is it jane macdonald?

I hope so.

Sesma · 09/01/2026 12:23

I just have the same, fairly uncommon surname of a famous footballer, and people ask me jokingly if I'm related, it can get a bit wearing

WallyWasEre · 09/01/2026 12:24

I have the same entire name (same spelling too) as an A-list celebrity who absolutely everyone knows. Same hair colour and build. You can prise it from my cold dead hands, it’s my name. Literally no one has ever got us mixed up or wondered why I’m taller IRL. 🙄 I think this is a non issue. But I also think you shouldn’t marry a guy who pressures you over something trivial, it’s a sign of things to come.

HollaHolla · 09/01/2026 12:24

I have a birth name which is two letters away from a famous US TV actress. Think Courtenay Cox, Jennifer Garner, Katherine Heigel type name. I have spent the last 30 years saying, 'no, not quite - yes; I get that a lot.' I use a contraction of my first name (Kate, not Katherine....), but I get the mis-spelling all the time. I often think it would be easier to be Jane Brown.
Anyway, I don't get changing of names for marriage. No other life event means you change your name. I would keep your own name. Or double-barrel, at a push.

ChangeNamed · 09/01/2026 12:37

Name changed for this but I have the name of a celebrity. Not an A lister but a household name when I was growing up and still recognisable to people of a certain age. Almost worse in a way when isn’t someone Hollywood and glamorous, more someone who might appear on a celeb reality show nowadays.

If it can be avoided, i.e., it is not the name you were given at birth like me, I would avoid it. It’s not particularly harmful in the grand scheme of things but it’s just annoying and an awkward way to start conversations and relationships by having to say “yes like X off the tele”.

I’m doubly biased here because I don’t see the need to change your name on marriage and have double barrelled my kids names. And I don’t think men should insist on this if it’s not something they’d consider doing themselves. But I definitely wouldn’t be doing it if the new name had any additional downsides.

BunnyLake · 09/01/2026 12:39

I’m pretty sure I’ve come across people with the same name as low level celebrities before. (And there must have been loads of Elizabeth Taylors). If you genuinely want to take his name the only thing that would stop me would be if I didn’t like the celebrity.

InMyOodie · 09/01/2026 12:41

You already have a name given to you at birth. Why would you consider changing that based on a romantic relationship? I wouldn't be impressed with a man expecting me to 'take his name'.

zanahoria · 09/01/2026 12:42

I noted that Kyle Walker's wife never took his name, it was probably best not to marry the serial cheat at all but she may not have wanted to be known as Annie Walker

zanahoria · 09/01/2026 12:47

Santangelo · 08/01/2026 18:22

It really does depend on the celebrity.

Gemma Collins jokes would annoy me.

Anita Dobson less so.

Gemma's mum is Joan Collins!

Flickaflock · 09/01/2026 12:57

Not quite the same situation, but my husband has the same name as a quite famous retired sports person - the surname isn’t super common so a lot of people do assume, when they see the name, that he is the celebrity. It has caused us a lot of annoyance over the years - turning up for dinner reservations to find the staff disappointed etc.

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 12:57

zanahoria · 09/01/2026 12:42

I noted that Kyle Walker's wife never took his name, it was probably best not to marry the serial cheat at all but she may not have wanted to be known as Annie Walker

Am I missing something about being called "Annie Walker" ?

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 09/01/2026 13:01

ANnie Walker was a longstanding Coronation Street character

CreativeGreen · 09/01/2026 13:01

The celebrity name thing is irrelevant, or a distraction - you want to keep your name, he's objecting to it: not good. It's your name, and you don't need to change it to reflect who you live with or love or are married to, and the idea of anyone insisting you do would be causing me some concern, if I were you.

AgentPidge · 09/01/2026 13:05

My married name is the name of someone famous. She's on the telly a lot! It's never been a problem and only one person has ever mentioned it, making themselves look like an idiot.

I also met someone recently with a Nicole Kidman-level name. When she said it she waited for me to say something. I didn't, and we moved on. I mean, she's in her 70s so presumably has heard it all from idiots. People who aren't idiots won't say anything. Maybe develop a hollow laugh, just in case.

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 13:09

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 09/01/2026 13:01

ANnie Walker was a longstanding Coronation Street character

Oh right.
Would that be a massively well known thing?
The only Coronation St characters I can name off the top of my head are Ken and Deirdre Barlow 😂

LittleBitofBread · 09/01/2026 13:26

Any man who was being arsey about his fiancée not wanting to take his name, I'd suggest he take hers instead and then if he protested ask why not.

Mymanyellow · 09/01/2026 16:21

I mean I guess it depends on the name. I too would want the same name as my children, I’ve kept my married name after divorce because of this.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 09/01/2026 16:26

Hmm.

Personally, I would be more worried about marrying a misogynist who insisted on me taking his name than I would worry about the name itself.

Big red flag. Ignore it at your peril.

GoldDuster · 09/01/2026 16:29

Buyer beware. The beliefs that this is based upon (do some digging and see if he can articulate what they actually are) will be baked-in regarding other issues, brace for all kind of nonsense. Think hard.

BunnyLake · 09/01/2026 16:53

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 12:57

Am I missing something about being called "Annie Walker" ?

Yes 😁

FuckRealityBringMeABook · 09/01/2026 16:54

Needmorelego · 09/01/2026 13:09

Oh right.
Would that be a massively well known thing?
The only Coronation St characters I can name off the top of my head are Ken and Deirdre Barlow 😂

I think you probably have to be of a certain age!

Marylou2 · 09/01/2026 17:02

I know an older and rather fabulous lady from my Yoga class who didn't take her husband's name as she would have had the same name as a famous actress. If anyone could have pulled it off, she could, but she chose not to. It was an amusing story over a glass of wine but I know why she wouldn't want to deal with it on a daily basis.