Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have I ruined everything

531 replies

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 10:32

Hi Im so sorry but this might be a long read. I just want too say everything so you all can see mayne why I feel the way I do.
been with boyfriend close too 2 and a half years. Severe issues with sex. For a good id say close to a year. I hate porn. It’s the worst thing to exist online in my opinion and I class it as cheating. Said all this at the start. When we had sex it would go on for hours with no end . After the first time I remember him saying ‘ I hope you ain’t one of them girls who thinks it’s because of them’ i said no but I did feel that way. Months went by still the same apart from the odd occasion. Now when he finished I felt so relieved. Didnt hate myself or feel disgusted with myself thinking it was me. Just to find out that so me how he had put porn on his phone with out me knowing and was watching it when we were doing it . To say iv never been so sad woth every aspect of my self is an understatement.
he said it’s because he didn’t feel like a man . But he would then watch it as soon as I left for work . So still no finshing but would send me videos when I got to work of him wanking and then phoning me after saying how much of a good wank he had ect. Honestly to this day it’s give me severe anxiety. He had a porn addiction and wanking addiction . To this day he says he hasn’t watched it since but I have found stuff on his phone so I know hes lying but he will flip out and then I think it’s all in my head .
so now I have anxiety everytime I leave his house , everytime I go to work in the morning . It’s so pathetic . Iv never experienced anything like this in my life . This morning we started doing it and he couldn’t continue because his back was hurting him. Fair enough . I got up got dressed and went to leave when he grabbed my arm and said I will not be wanking when you go to work and said it a few times . I said ok and left . On the way to work he sent me a what’s app . I don’t use my phone when driving so I pull over open it and I see a video . Instantly my stomach turns because in this video he sent me he is not full on wanking but his Willy is hard and hes wanking it slowly. He wrote under neath dont worry I won’t be wanking .
now this has all messed my head up took me back to exactly how I felt for the first year. To me why would you send that video after oddly saying I won’t be wanking when I leave then putting that caption under a video of doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do.
I think he could tell something was wrong because he text me ok about ten mins after it. I didn’t even watch the whole video just deleted it . Iv felt so sad and sick all morning in work. I did reply and say I deleted it and I don’t get why he would send me it after saying he woundnt do it ect and how it made me feel like I did for the first year.
i could tell this pissed him off he just replied ok sorry.
then had a go saying i said no wanking not a skin touch ? What the hell. Then lost his shit and at the end told to me go shag Some one else . I just want to know if I’m in the wrong because I will say sorry or I have reason to feel the way I am . I havnt heard off him since around 6 and I highly doubt i will until maybe tomorrow. Thankyou

OP posts:
333FionaG · 08/01/2026 12:22

Ugh. What a repulsive man. He sends you videos of himself with his dick out? You are worth better than this awful specimen of manhood. He's absolutely revolting! Please leave. You need to for your own self-esteem. Let him watch his porn and wank himself stupid - on his own. If he sends you any more videos, block him. Sending you love and strength.

Duckswaddle · 08/01/2026 12:23

Fuck sake, stop trying to excuse this disgusting man and end it. Why are you continuing to make it your problem? You don’t need him for anything.
This is bizarre!

diddl · 08/01/2026 12:24

I've just read your posts Op.

He also does drugs!

On the plus side you have your own place and a dog!

Hopefully that means you can just walk away.

Krakinou · 08/01/2026 12:25

Leave him, he’s disgusting.

But also, please don’t enter ANY other relationship, including casual dating, before doing some very deep thinking (preferably therapy) about your own self worth and boundaries.

There are many many terrible men out there. You need to have the self esteem to say no and dump at the first sign.

teawamutu · 08/01/2026 12:25

One more post begging you to dump this abusive, misogynistic loser and get on with your life.

I've never met you and I never will, but I know for an absolute fact you can do better than this. Although tbh, being alone forever sounds like bliss compared to one more day with this vile cunt.

Does he bring any real happiness to your life? Any at all? If not, why on earth are you still with him? There aren't going to be medals for long service or prizes for endurance or anything.

The best time to dump him was ages ago. The second best time is today. Give yourself a new year gift of a fresh start.💐

Namechange546 · 08/01/2026 12:26

OP, this is grim. Like others have said, one of the saddest posts I've read in all my years on here.

You need to dump him now.

What does he bring to your life? Does he work? Does he have money to go out on nice dates and put towards building a future together? Do you go on holidays? Or, do you spend all your time sitting in a manky bedroom with him treating you badly and having shit sex between him sneaking off for lines. Whilst being menaced by his dangerously untrained dog (the dog's behaviour is his fault).

Never mind the sexual harassment!

Please dump this man and think about the life you want. And look at where you can get some support to help you work though why you have accepted this for so long. I've heard of the Freedom Programme, maybe that could be something to look into.

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2026 12:26

Duckswaddle · 08/01/2026 12:23

Fuck sake, stop trying to excuse this disgusting man and end it. Why are you continuing to make it your problem? You don’t need him for anything.
This is bizarre!

Block him anyway

There is nothing loveable about him

He is vile and brings nothing worthwhile to your life @theheckisgoingon28

Do you want to be with this pig, living this life, when you're 40?

How old is your child and is she ever around him?

Cardinalita90 · 08/01/2026 12:26

If you have any belongings at his that you desperately want back, go round tonight with a friend or relative and collect them. Don't tell him in advance why you're coming.

Then instant block, and cut him off. Ignore any empty promises of change or emotional blackmail - he's shown you who he is so believe him. You're fortunate to not have any real ties to this cretin so it could all be over tonight and you start the next beautiful chapter of your life.

SmileyMoonset · 08/01/2026 12:29

You appear to think you aren’t worth more OP. You are very wrong about that.

If the worst woman I know (who is pretty unpleasant) came and told me this story, I would tell her to leave him immediately.

Love isn’t enough.
Love doesn't make you feel like this .

You have a home and a family and work. Block him and never go to his trashed, smelly house again. You have the power here, you just need to take it.

Go home and enjoy some peace and safety and dignity.

OneShyQuail · 08/01/2026 12:31

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 10:42

Hi he hasn’t for a while , the first few months I would get a few when I left for work . I do get the odd one now and then but havnt for a few months now . But I have told him a few times that I don’t want any photos or videos of that . But still he sends this

This is not normal.
Yuck.
Get rid and find a decent man

disturbia · 08/01/2026 12:32

OP his behaviour is serious sexual abuse in the context of domestic abuse. Also this is not loving behaviour towards you. Men with porn addiction etc usually blame their partners and accuse them of not being sexy enough etc. I am in agreement with others on here his behaviour with the photos is very concerning. I expect he is lying to you about his use of porn etc. He needs to get help with his addiction. Please leave him for your own sake and self respect. You deserve better than this.

JoyinRepetition · 08/01/2026 12:35

I only read your opening post and was so mad on your behalf I couldn't read any further cos I felt so wound up.

This man is so bad for your health op. He's literally turning you into a shell of yourself.

As someone who has a terminal illness please listen to me....You don't know how long your life will be. Why on earth are you wasting valuable years with this thing?

Whether it's with support of friends or family or with a therapist or whatever you find that can boost you enough to get out of this - please find a way out.

You really do deserve better op.

Frugalgal · 08/01/2026 12:35

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 10:32

Hi Im so sorry but this might be a long read. I just want too say everything so you all can see mayne why I feel the way I do.
been with boyfriend close too 2 and a half years. Severe issues with sex. For a good id say close to a year. I hate porn. It’s the worst thing to exist online in my opinion and I class it as cheating. Said all this at the start. When we had sex it would go on for hours with no end . After the first time I remember him saying ‘ I hope you ain’t one of them girls who thinks it’s because of them’ i said no but I did feel that way. Months went by still the same apart from the odd occasion. Now when he finished I felt so relieved. Didnt hate myself or feel disgusted with myself thinking it was me. Just to find out that so me how he had put porn on his phone with out me knowing and was watching it when we were doing it . To say iv never been so sad woth every aspect of my self is an understatement.
he said it’s because he didn’t feel like a man . But he would then watch it as soon as I left for work . So still no finshing but would send me videos when I got to work of him wanking and then phoning me after saying how much of a good wank he had ect. Honestly to this day it’s give me severe anxiety. He had a porn addiction and wanking addiction . To this day he says he hasn’t watched it since but I have found stuff on his phone so I know hes lying but he will flip out and then I think it’s all in my head .
so now I have anxiety everytime I leave his house , everytime I go to work in the morning . It’s so pathetic . Iv never experienced anything like this in my life . This morning we started doing it and he couldn’t continue because his back was hurting him. Fair enough . I got up got dressed and went to leave when he grabbed my arm and said I will not be wanking when you go to work and said it a few times . I said ok and left . On the way to work he sent me a what’s app . I don’t use my phone when driving so I pull over open it and I see a video . Instantly my stomach turns because in this video he sent me he is not full on wanking but his Willy is hard and hes wanking it slowly. He wrote under neath dont worry I won’t be wanking .
now this has all messed my head up took me back to exactly how I felt for the first year. To me why would you send that video after oddly saying I won’t be wanking when I leave then putting that caption under a video of doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do.
I think he could tell something was wrong because he text me ok about ten mins after it. I didn’t even watch the whole video just deleted it . Iv felt so sad and sick all morning in work. I did reply and say I deleted it and I don’t get why he would send me it after saying he woundnt do it ect and how it made me feel like I did for the first year.
i could tell this pissed him off he just replied ok sorry.
then had a go saying i said no wanking not a skin touch ? What the hell. Then lost his shit and at the end told to me go shag Some one else . I just want to know if I’m in the wrong because I will say sorry or I have reason to feel the way I am . I havnt heard off him since around 6 and I highly doubt i will until maybe tomorrow. Thankyou

With all the love in the world, the problem here is you, not him.

If you believed that you only deserved to eat rotten rubbish from bins and that was how you fed yourself and then got repeatedly sick from it, whose fault is it that you got sick? Yours for eating the rotten crap or the rotten crap in the bin?

He is the human equivalent of rotten crap in the bin, that will make you ill. He cannot change or turn himself into something good for you, he is not capable of it. He doesn't even think he's doing anything wrong. In his perception he's just a 'normal bloke' wanting what he is entitled to, a woman who accepts his drugs and porn habits, welcomes hus wankibg videos, panders to him in every way, knows her place as a 'slag' and potential cheat who needs to be kept on a leash, unlike his dog, to have his dog without ever lifting a finger to manage its behaviour.

He is not a functioning adult. He is damaged, insecure and has addictions. He is incapable of change. He will only ever be with a woman who thinks so little of herself that she can't even tell that his god awful uselessness isn't her fault.

What does he bring to your life? Nothing. You don't even love him because you refuse to see him as he is. You couldn't love that abject abusive specimen. You love the idea of love, you love the rare nice bits, you love a fantasy.

When you work up the self respect to leave him, you will look back and you will see that this was not love. It's delusional, fantasy, eating rotten crap from the bin and telling yourself it is delicious.

It's all on you. You deserve better. Better would be being single and happy with your own company. That is where you need to get to. You need to not need a man. Not need to be in love. Not need someone else to be happy. All of this is in your control. You may need help in the form of counselling if you can possibly afford it. You must get to a place where you can see this relationship for what it is. Self-punishmet because on some level you think you deserve it.

You are also carrying your past trauma with you which is adding to the pain of this one. You seem to be equating your ex's cheating with this loser's porn use. You can't control other people's appetites for these things. If porn use is a red line for you, the only option is discontinuing the relationship. You may find that better men that him will feel obliged to lie about porn use in those circumstances.

In any normal relationship if you tell a man to not send you waking videos, that should be the end of it. The whole wanking stuff is deeply weird. There's an unhealthy obsession on both sides.

You have got to end this horrible disaster of a relationship and then work on yourself. You can only change yourself, not him. Never. He cannot change and he doesn't want to, as far as he is concerned there is nothing wrong with him.

Future you will regret every single day you throw your life away on him. Do her the beggist favour and giver her the best present imaginable, shut the lid on that bin and walk away forever. Then teach yourself to love yourself.

IsabellaGoodthing · 08/01/2026 12:37

He is not the man for you OP and this needs to finish now. Hope you meet someone better suited to your needs and wishes.

MrsSlocombesCat · 08/01/2026 12:37

OP everyone, literally everyone, thinks you should end this relationship. You are getting nothing from it, and not only that he's making your life a misery. So WHY are you not talking about ending it? You don't live together so it wouldn't be that difficult in a practical sense. Please don't say it's because you love him. All the issues stem from HIM not you. Imagine your evenings cuddled up with your dog, watching TV with nothing to worry about and peace of mind.

TreeDudette · 08/01/2026 12:38

This sounds like some strange kink of making you feel bad. I definitely don't need a video of my DP doing that. Why would he tell you? He sounds gross. I would dump his skanky arse.

RaininSummer · 08/01/2026 12:38

My goodness OP. Please collect your things when he is out then go home and text him that he is dumped. Block him from contacting you and change your locks if he has a key. Tell family and friends for support and if you fear he may get shitty.

HarvestMouseandGoldenCups · 08/01/2026 12:41

OP you need to look into why on earth you’re in this hideous relationship and what has happened in your life to make you think any of this is acceptable.
Here’s a list of dump-worthy behaviours ON THEIR OWN let alone in combination:
Screams at you
Gets angry when you cry
Sends you sexual videos you don’t want
Is addicted to porn
Is addicted to drugs
Drives when on drugs/ alcohol
Has an out of control dog
Calls you names
Causes you anxiety
‘Flips out’
Makes you think everything’s your fault
Has a disgusting home
Has a dog that attacks your dog
Much more…

Leave him. Or you’re continuing to allow yourself to be treated like a worm on his shoe.

ohyesido · 08/01/2026 12:46

I do not understand this. He has picked up on your aversion to porn and is consciously using it to mess with your mind, while denying he has done so?

Pineappleice43 · 08/01/2026 12:47

Even though I'm echoing what other people are saying I feel the need to also post and tell you that you are so much better than him and how he is treating you. He is controlling and abusing you. You are better than that and deserve a relationship with someone who loves and respects you. You need to leave him, I hope you do!

rainbowstardrops · 08/01/2026 12:48

I’ve just had a look at a couple of your other threads as you gave your normal username and said people could have a look and jeez @theheckisgoingon28you need to leave this waste of space!
You left him fairly recently and yet you went back! You’re just torturing yourself by staying with him.
You don’t live together. You have a house, a daughter and a dog. You do not need this loser in your life.
What would you tell your daughter if her boyfriend was treating her the same as your ‘partner’ is treating you?

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 12:48

I do think it’s all me now . I just phoned him and he was shouting saying hes done nothing wrong he didn’t wank just done it for a video to show me then stopped . Said he didn’t know I didn’t like it even tho I have told him before but he denies even remembering I ever said that. Said it’s just what couples do and hes done nothing wrong . He said he is fuming about the way I text him this morning but I didn’t say anything bad just what I put on here and also to stop lying too me . I said thats all you do . Iv just come to my car now I can’t stop shaking and crying . I know it’s me . I said to him iv done nothing wrong and he said here you go again always poor me

OP posts:
Skyflyinghigh · 08/01/2026 12:49

Dear God why do you stay with this Prince of a man? He’s abusing you.

ClarasSisters · 08/01/2026 12:51

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 12:48

I do think it’s all me now . I just phoned him and he was shouting saying hes done nothing wrong he didn’t wank just done it for a video to show me then stopped . Said he didn’t know I didn’t like it even tho I have told him before but he denies even remembering I ever said that. Said it’s just what couples do and hes done nothing wrong . He said he is fuming about the way I text him this morning but I didn’t say anything bad just what I put on here and also to stop lying too me . I said thats all you do . Iv just come to my car now I can’t stop shaking and crying . I know it’s me . I said to him iv done nothing wrong and he said here you go again always poor me

"I know it’s me ." It's really not.

Don't phone him again.

andthat · 08/01/2026 12:53

theheckisgoingon28 · 08/01/2026 12:48

I do think it’s all me now . I just phoned him and he was shouting saying hes done nothing wrong he didn’t wank just done it for a video to show me then stopped . Said he didn’t know I didn’t like it even tho I have told him before but he denies even remembering I ever said that. Said it’s just what couples do and hes done nothing wrong . He said he is fuming about the way I text him this morning but I didn’t say anything bad just what I put on here and also to stop lying too me . I said thats all you do . Iv just come to my car now I can’t stop shaking and crying . I know it’s me . I said to him iv done nothing wrong and he said here you go again always poor me

You need to get some therapy @theheckisgoingon28

The fact you can SEE a video of him masturbating.. then believe him/think its a you problem when he gas lights you and says that he wasn't masturbating tells you that he has done a right number on you.

You have no reason to stay.. you don't live together, you don't have kids.

Why on earth aren't you ending it? Think about that for a moment.. a man who uses drugs and porn, whose house is a tip.... why are you staying? What exactly is keeping you there?