Can I go to police over this? Potential blackmail

[Gaiad]

I am wracked with anxiety.

I have not been unfaithful. But over Summer we had a landscaper working on our garden. Nothing physical happened but I have to admit we were flirting. It was a mistake but even though we had the opportunity to take things further I did not as I am committed to my lovely dh.

Things took quite a nasty turn. The landscaper tried things on physically and I said something along the lines of “I want to but I can’t” :/. I mean god only knows what possessed me to say that.

Anyway, we swapped some texts where he said sorry and I said sorry back. We agreed we would maintain a professional distance.

The job ended but a couple of days ago I got a message from the gardener asking for £1000 otherwise he is showing dh our texts! I am absolutely distraught. I had deleted my messages and assumed the gardener would too as he is in a relationship. A screenshot was shown and one of my messages references that I said “I want to but can’t”. Very stupid for leaving physical evidence. I just didn’t think this person was so calculated.

He’s obviously trying his luck. But given he is trying to extort me would this be something the police could intervene in as it is criminal?

I know I am in the wrong. I should’ve removed myself from the flirting scenarios.

I wonder if that’s part of the massive problem tho. The police have so much to do, but scam artists are ruining people’s lives and the police can’t do a thing about it, tied by either depleted resources or existing laws.

The jerk has clearly set this up and likely done it countless times before remaining completely unchecked for his actions.

The OP made a choice, if the OP did nothing wrong there is no reason why they cant tell their husband

and tell the man to stop being so stupid and go away it is not Eastenders

It’s Blackmail of course you can go to the Police.

This. I would but I can’t because I’m pacifying you to get out my house!

If it went to court because you are a victim of blackmail, you would have an anonymity order.

He’s very stupid, you have evidence of a crim8nal offence. Not only can you go to the police but you can truthfully leave reviews everywhere for him saying you had to report him to the police for his criminal behaviour (you don’t need to go into detail). Even if your dh gets wind of this tell your dh that he tried it on, you felt unsafe so while you turned him down you were trying to do it in a “nice manner” so he didn’t kick off. But you didn’t actually mean the “I want to “ bit.

I don’t think the blackmail would be looked upon favourably, really?

Consider telling your husband yourself and how he would react then the blackmailer has nothing on you. I would also seriously consider your boundaries in future and how you interact with men like this. Also police.

Tell your DH yourself. You can explain why you wrote that text, you were just trying to soften the blow of your rejection of him.

then go to the police

OP this is dreadful, I am so sorry, he is a despicable person.
Do you work OP, if you do your employers might have an employee assistance scheme where you can get free legal advice and support.
I would go to a Solicitor and get them to write a strongly worded letter telling him to desist.
You can also go to the police as this is blackmail.
These are all empty threats on his part but you need to take back some control here and show him you are not to be messed with.
Good luck OP.

Please don't leave bad reviews, this man knows where you live, he is of bad character and if you do this it will take away your peace of mind.

True, but then by that thought process if the OP goes to the police he knows where she lives 🤷‍♀️.

Go to the Police. You should say to your DH that you replied how you did to keep yourself safe at home. If you’d put ‘no’ then the next time he came round he could have tried something else. Also worth (after going to the Police) that you do suggest that women don’t hire this man. Lesson learnt - don’t ever put anything in writing!

If you go to the police you might find he is already known to them and has form for this. Not that they will outright tell you but you will be able to pick up on it.
I went to the police when I was being harassed by someone, I felt the police wouldn't take it seriously but they so did as it was obvious the individual was known to them and they had other complaints about the individual.

Go to the police and be honest with your husband. That way you don’t have anything to hide from anyone and the pressure is off.

I remember a similar story - the previous op had kissed the builder though hasn’t she ?

Not if he had any sense he wouldn't. After all she would have said something at the time, surely?

Maybe I’m misunderstanding your comment? Making a ‘bad’ choice leaves you open to scam artists to do as they wish? TBF her choice was to walk away ‘when she wanted to’ (sic) ‘go further’. Quite commendable some might say after the shite I’ve read on here over the years!

I have posted earlier that I agree OP should tell her husband.

Checkatrade doesn't mean shit.
We hired a roofer from there, and after quotes from other roofers, I found out he was using the same bogus roof photos of someone's damaged roof to pretend it was our roof. He over quoted me by thousands for tiles that weren't even damaged.
I left a message on his phone to cancel the work with him after I found out, he just tuned up at the house anyway and when he did I confronted him about it.
He got angry and said he has to carry out the work now as he has bought the materials. After me telling him no at the door, he told me he was going to call my partner, and he rang my partner at work to have a go at him.
He was annoyed I caught him out, and tried intimidating me at my own house when he turned up , he was fuming that I caught him out.
Why did he call my partner when I already told him no? Haven't used that site again.

He’s a bit daft if he continues with this.
report to the police.
block him.
try to not flirt with people doing work on your property.

Police or solicitor to write a warning letter

Just tell your husband and remove his power. You didn’t do anything. Look, even if the police do talk to him it isn’t going to stop him sharing the messages if he wants to. I’d be upfront with your dh and then tell the wanker to crack on and do what he likes. How sad that he has to resort to such low class behaviour for money.

I agree with this 👆🏻

Or dont be childish, and tell the truth.