To be fed up of bossy two year old

[beingbossedabout]

Will probably regret starting this thread as toddler threads here often go mental but my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves. It started with just being ordered to ‘sit there mummy’ and it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa if I need to get up, and getting very irate when I don’t do as I am told, it’s tedious as hell. When does it end?

Yep . Lol

Yeah, people are crazy.

As you know, it’s developmentally appropriate and she is showing signs of secure attachment to you.

It’s a developmental stage to attempt to “root” adults and carry out play around them, with the secure knowledge of where they are.

It will get better (for you) as her theory of mind develops. She doesn’t even know she’s bossy. Her thoughts are the only ones she is aware of.

Toddlers are basically underdeveloped psychopaths trying out various techniques on their long-suffering parents. It’s a good thing they’re cute (especially when asleep) because frankly no sane person would bother.

Very much relate, thankfully mine likes bossing the cat around just now so takes the edge off me. Although the tantrums when the cat buggers off out the cat flap after being told to do whatever are exhausting!

Just tell her no.

it’s fine if you’re playing a game, but toddlers have to learn about the way the world works and that includes them learning they’re not in charge.

Ok well if you think firmly saying no to a two year old is telling them off you will just have to accept that your personal definition of the term is out of step with the majority understanding and therefore will cause people who don't share your esoteric definition to misunderstand you.

Oh god DS2 was called ‘sergeant major’ at this age for his attempts at bossing people around. ‘PAPPI SIT THERE!!’ was frequently bellowed at my step dad who was his favourite play mate!

He grew out of it (and he’s not even that much beyond 2) 🙂 I’m not really sure we did much in the way of boundaries around this behaviour beyond rolling our ours and saying ‘NO YOU SIT THERE DS2’

It is never a good idea to let either animals or small children think they are in charge.

I do not miss this 🤣. My niece is almost 3 and is firmly in her tiny tyrant phase, I love her dearly but I’m so glad I can go home and deal with my hormonal 9 year old instead 🤣🤣. At lease she can be somewhat reasoned with.

Another one who is baffled by the point of this post! Your daughter's behavior is getting on your nerves and really tedious, yet when people try and give advice you jump down their throats!

Yes, she's being developmentally appropriate, That doesn't mean you have to put up with it, and it's certainly not too soon for her to start learning about boundaries and that she's not always in charge.

DS went from tyrant phase to high pitched whiney stage. I had to say my ears couldn't hear whiney voices only normal speech. It did not deter him.

Honestly, I don’t like it when threads go sour but what are you baffled by? It’s a bit of humorous frustration, no more and no less. Really no big deal.

She is regularly told no, I have no issue in, you know, staying in a shop and paying rather than being dragged out 😂 but it is an exasperating phase.

It does upset me when people are unpleasant about a toddler for no reason. It’s really not particularly nice to read, especially when she’s a lovely girl in most respects, it’s a normal phase and isn’t a sign of poor parenting or of lack of boundaries.

No need to tell her off but every need to say no.

Maybe your wording? Fed up suggests you don’t like it. I also wouldn’t class a 2 year old pulling or pushing an adult repeatedly a normal toddler phase, most parents would say no. But if it’s working for you and isn’t actually making you fed up carry on as you are.

No, I don’t like it particularly. How it’s been extrapolated from that that she’s never told no, has no boundaries and is the sole cause of problems in today’s youth I don’t know … but like I say, MN threads about toddlers tend to go a bit insane!

So what's the actual point of posting about your toddler if you already suspect that the thread will just go a bit insane?

You are unreasonable just for calling yourself ‘mummy’ say ‘I am busy ‘ I ill
olay when I’m finished ‘ etc the most downtrodden parents I know call them selves mummy as if you were are a person in your own right with agency .

I mean it true that it’s developmentally normal for toddlers to boss you about and it also true that you need to continue to demonstrate boundaries so they will eventually learn that bossing people around doesn’t work. Bot sure why those two things are being treated as mutually exclusive??

My youngest is just getting to this stage it’s both irritating and absolutely hilarious

Your toddler is bossing you around, and by your own admission you are entirely fed up with it.

Now either you can let the behaviour continue to annoy you, or you can decide to assert your parental authority and do something about it. Which is it to be?

So do you think I’ve been meekly and timidly acceding to all instructions, including allowing myself to be dragged out of a shop without paying, or do you think it is probably more likely that I regularly say no? Which do you honestly think is most likely?

And if you do think I’ve just been trotting along as my two year old drags me, then you are wrong. Perhaps you think you tell them once and they stop? They don’t.

Sorry @Zigazagbox , didn’t mean to quote you 🤦🏼‍♀️

When they stop talking to you because you know nothing!

seriously though she’s reflecting back to you her experience of you so maybe you can understand how she may feel now boots on the other foot!

Can you turn into your mother at that point? I’m trying to envisage a 2 yr old bossing my mother around. No hope there. Miserable though it sounds, you could try being firm and taking charge.

I am possibly feeling a bit prickly because of the mad posts but I really don’t drag and order her around. We do seem to have gone from her having no boundaries to her living in an oppressive and tyrannical regime though.

Well you did start a thread on toddler behaviour

she is 2 she is learning she doesn’t have to do what you say and she can have her own opinion. The world centres around her in her head but she has only experienced it mainly in your company so your her main influence.

It’s a phase and you have to put up with it, reminding her periodically you’re her mum, she’s not your mum, and tolerating what you’re prepared to tolerate. And try enjoy the nice bits because they don’t last and before you know it you’ve a surly teenager and you’re wondering where your delightful child went.

eventually she’ll go to pre school and boss the other children who will boss her back or not listen differently to you.