To be fed up of bossy two year old

[beingbossedabout]

Will probably regret starting this thread as toddler threads here often go mental but my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves. It started with just being ordered to ‘sit there mummy’ and it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa if I need to get up, and getting very irate when I don’t do as I am told, it’s tedious as hell. When does it end?

MN is really peculiar about toddlers, there’s no other word for it. Obviously you get some sensible posts but for the most part they are assumed to have reasoning, logic and motive way way beyond their years.

Mumsnetters are wild.

I could start a thread now detailing horrific child negligence from a neighbour and we’d have posters saying I shouldn’t judge or ask why I haven’t helped them, yet you dare say your toddler is bossy and you’re failing as a parent and you’re enabling your DD to become a antisocial burden on society.

The greatest quote I have ever seen regarding toddlers was simply - “toddlers. What the fuck?”

There is a book called something like ‘toddlers are arseholes’ 😂

But it is also confusing that you posted saying my two year olds bossy behaviour is really getting on my nerves and when people have said about ways to manage it, you have then said you don't mind doing it and even answered your own question of when will it end in another post by saying it will end when this stage ends, so maybe this wasn't an AIBU post and maybe just a chat instead looking for empathy/any one that can relate.

They have good taste 😁

If she’s got enough language ability to assert herself and boss her mother about, she’s got the capacity hear some stern words in low level age-appropriate way. “No Maisie, mummy has to do something else now, you’ll have to play with teddy now instead….” (Said with serious face and ignore wingeing or foot stomping).

Yes, the child is acting within ‘developmentally normal’ behaviour, but all children’s cheeky boundary pushing is. When do you start with discipline? When they’re 5? 10? 15? 25?

This weird hipster advice that children are too young to understand simple parental disapproval is what is actually ‘wrongheaded’ and so harmful when you see the statistics about child mental health. Children need calm loving adults to be in charge, and being in charge means the odd low-stakes telling off when children overstep or become unruly. It’s actually good parenting.

I have never personally had to deal with this personality type but if I came across it I wouldn't be indulging it. It continues because you think it's cute for some reason.

Oh bless you! That book made me cry. I don't think Bernard was bossy though, it was about negligent parents.
My kid was bossy as a 2yo and I found other parents exasperating. Luckily DD's childminder confirmed that DD was particularly stubborn.
It took a lot of patience. Phrases I used included "I'm me and you're you"; "We will do that when you have finished your dinner/put your toys away/ changed into dayclothes"; and "I love you is spelt en- o". It was utterly exhausting holding the boundaries and I had to pick my battles.

She is displaying developmentally normal behaviour. Like teenagers who take stupid risks. That’s why you need to parent your children rather than leaving them to develop without guidance.

It really isn’t MN being weird to suggest toddlers are capable of understanding rules and boundaries. They won’t understand everything but she absolutely can learn it isn’t acceptable to harass people into doing what she wants.

I know how to manage it. I’m not seeking advice and I certainly don’t need MN making inferences about my parenting or about my child.

What you describe here - respectfully saying no - is not a 'telling off'. Perhaps you misspoke in your first post.

So why are you posting if its a normal phase and she'll come out of it. There are plenty of people on here telling you it is not necessary. You clearly know best so crack on.

Yes

My DD was a bossy thing at two too.

I just said "no I'm not doing that" whenever I didn't fancy it. She soon learnt her dad is a lot more weak willed and reserved her bossiest requests for him.

Anyway, she's a delightful three year old now. Super sweet and friendly and caring.

You can just say "no" if you don't want to do something she wants.

Why do people post anything? A bit of humour, solidarity, fun.

I wonder what would happen now if the cutted up pear was posted,

You can just say "no" if you don't want to do something she wants.

Revolutionary.

my 25 month old has just started displaying my these tendencies and I’m terrified 😂😂😂

She’s mostly delightful. Two is a tricky age though, even if MN toddlers are quelled by a stern look and a ‘no.’

A lot of it is just wanting to be with you.

Well, this "it’s evolved to dragging me around, taking a finger and pulling me, trying to shove me down on the sofa" implies that you haven't firmly told her no and are just going along with her demands. So you need the obvious advice.

OP's didn't want help or any input or suggestions from people with other ideas, she wanted confirmation that her book 'Toddlers are arseholes' was correct and to repeatedly point out that 'Toddler threads on here go weird".

yes and that is so far keeping it quite cute! Although today “wanting to be with me” involved insisting on trying to put my trainers on me while I was trying to pee and getting frustrated when he couldn’t work it out 😂. The novelty of seeing him become more and more aware of things is still adorable to me, but the thought of this being the beginning of years is funny and scary at the same time!

lol I meant 15 months but can’t edit 🥲

Heh my grandbaby does this. Leads me by a finger and if I don't obey I get half a helicopter strop on the floor. I'm aiming for a whole helicopter

What I will say having had 3 ND kids who were very challenging when young. Spending time with an obvious NT toddler is the best experience. Watching the blossom into their own person. Amazing.

Oh OP, you’ve upset the MN Aunties now 😳 you are supposed to lap up their pearls of wisdom with humility and gratitude, not push back on patronising and pointless advice.

It isn’t my book - I haven’t even read it. I only mentioned it in passing