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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
averychoc · 07/01/2026 09:10

Allthecoloursoftherainbow4 · 07/01/2026 08:53

Lots of evidence that people use at tribunals is self reported. Eg they may have visited their doctor and self reported to the doctor that they are really struggling dressing and need help to do so every day. The doctor will then record that and it becomes a piece of 'evidence'

This is the biggest issue around the whole system. When the numbers of claimants are so vast you have to rely on people's self reported symptoms largely, and there's a lot of scope for people to exaggerate. Not lie necessarily, but claim that 6 days out of 7 they are struggling when maybe it's only 1-2 days out of 7.

The difference is a successful claim versus an unsuccessful one, as a lot of the criteria are around how frequently your disability is affecting you as this gives a sense of its impact on your life.

Look at all the threads on here where people are advised to describe their worst day. What if that 'worst day' only happens once every 6 months, is that still a fair claim?

You can’t self report you are struggling to dress to your GP and have it submitted as evidence without any reason why you would be struggling though. That’s utter nonsense. I could go and tell my GP right now I can’t dress myself and I can’t make a meal but him saying said does not make it evidence, unless I am dating I cannot do it because am there is a medical reason for that. Self reporting doesn’t make evidence the way people seem to think it does

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 09:10

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:05

Because they are disabled obviously that is the point.

Disabled by what? Purely by their condition or also by society's preconceptions, biases and prejudice? We've seen a lot of ableism on this thread alone. I know from my own experience how hard it can be to get and sustain work with a disability.
Many, if not most employers pay the most basic lip service to making the kind of reasonable adjustment that would enable disabled employees to be on an equal footing to those who aren't disabled.

Twoboysandabengal · 07/01/2026 09:12

You need to get a hobby, which might lead to a life!

lindyloo57 · 07/01/2026 09:14

I too know of a distant family member who do this , he says to doctors he is suffering with arthritis all over his body can hardly walk, what the doctors don't know is, every weekend his at the nightclubs dancing all night and getting drunk.

Boomer55 · 07/01/2026 09:14

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:45

No I don’t enjoy perfect health and am perfectly content that the benefits system is there to help people who need it. I am happy to pay tax to facilitate this.

If anyone receives PIP or DLA, and it’s been to tribunal, then you can be reassured that many professionals have looked at it.

I get DLA (never been migrated because of age ) and had to submit reams of evidence, which I did. It was physical stuff, so pretty simple to get lots of evidence.

I rarely talk about my health, except to my nearest and dearest, and I get help in as and when I need it. It’s not compulsory to talk about your own health, or justify myself, nor is it to get daily help. The need just has to be proved to those that make the decisions. .

I also pay tax. 🤷‍♀️

She doesn’t need to prove a thing to you or your spiteful relatives.

Best that all of you just get on with enjoying your own lives, and leave her be.

Not your circus, not your clowns. 🙄

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:14

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 09:10

Disabled by what? Purely by their condition or also by society's preconceptions, biases and prejudice? We've seen a lot of ableism on this thread alone. I know from my own experience how hard it can be to get and sustain work with a disability.
Many, if not most employers pay the most basic lip service to making the kind of reasonable adjustment that would enable disabled employees to be on an equal footing to those who aren't disabled.

I'm sure many of "the disabled must be forced to work" brigade would be the first to complain if my quadriplegic relative was was wheeled onto a plane in the pilots uniform.

GusGloop · 07/01/2026 09:15

You have mentioned social duty, morally torn, and things like that as if this is your responsibility or decision. It might help to think of it as none of your business instead.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 09:16

lindyloo57 · 07/01/2026 09:14

I too know of a distant family member who do this , he says to doctors he is suffering with arthritis all over his body can hardly walk, what the doctors don't know is, every weekend his at the nightclubs dancing all night and getting drunk.

You can’t just claim you’ve got arthritis and the doctors will go ‘’oh, okay then!’’ The person will be checked and diagnosed. Are you really that dense? Why are you lying? 🤣

ForWittyTealOP · 07/01/2026 09:18

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:14

I'm sure many of "the disabled must be forced to work" brigade would be the first to complain if my quadriplegic relative was was wheeled onto a plane in the pilots uniform.

It's not about being forced to work though. It's about people having the same opportunities as others. I agree that there's been an attempt by our government to link disability and worklessness and to position work as the cure all for disability. But if you'd like to work, disability shouldn't be a barrier imposed by society and employers because employing disabled people is too much trouble.

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:18

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 09:16

You can’t just claim you’ve got arthritis and the doctors will go ‘’oh, okay then!’’ The person will be checked and diagnosed. Are you really that dense? Why are you lying? 🤣

I think there is zero chance that that "distant relative" exists.

CautiousLurker2 · 07/01/2026 09:18

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:07

Some posters would definitely have preferred to have live in the middle ages.

And in the middle ages, the people who receive PIP would likely have not survived. They relied on family and the Alms of the church or support from the feudal master… so most died of starvation and abuse. Am rather glad we don’t live in those times.

The PIP bill is high, but there are many other benefits we can look at capping and reducing, and many many other areas of the public purse that need addressing before we throw the compassion and core moral values that used to be what made Britain great.

sashh · 07/01/2026 09:20

Penelope23145 · 06/01/2026 23:23

If they are getting a motoribility car then they either are saying that they cannot reliably mobilise more than 20m or they cannot leave the house alone and plan and follow a journey due to psychological distress on the majority of days.. These would be the two main criteria for someone being awarded enhanced rate mobility which is what they need to participate in the motorbility scheme. If neither of these apply ( which you seem to be suggesting ) then YANBU.

Edited

Or pain. You might be physically able to walk but it might be incredibly painful.

OP unless you are with this person 24/7 365 days a year you have no idea of their difficulties.

sunshinestar1986 · 07/01/2026 09:21

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

Did you want them to be bed bound before they deserve it?
When they're bed bound, actual carers come and look after them provided by adult social services
Did u know that 🙄
Pip is literally to help people be independent

Thirdchildjoy · 07/01/2026 09:21

CautiousLurker2 · 07/01/2026 09:18

And in the middle ages, the people who receive PIP would likely have not survived. They relied on family and the Alms of the church or support from the feudal master… so most died of starvation and abuse. Am rather glad we don’t live in those times.

The PIP bill is high, but there are many other benefits we can look at capping and reducing, and many many other areas of the public purse that need addressing before we throw the compassion and core moral values that used to be what made Britain great.

These posters would have loved that - a world without disabled people. Fortunately most in society have moved on dramatically.

oviraptor21 · 07/01/2026 09:21

From your post it seems very clear that they are not entitled to the mobility car.
For that you need to either be barely able to walk, or completely unable to get yourself around outside, either due to extreme anxiety or due to learning/physical issues making it difficult or impossible for you to navigate from a to b.

If you are right about the level of disability then you are right about the entitlement to the mobility car. That's not to say that the relative wouldn't get any PIP at all - just not the higher rate of mobility.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:25

BettysRoasties · 07/01/2026 08:06

This thread is one of those funny ones. Omg op you are so terrible never report anyone what a cow and so on.

On general benefits threads when someone says they know or suspect someone. Well I hope you’ve reported them it’s our duty to report!!!!

😂

If they can genuinely walk that far regularly and not as a once every so often they manage and then recover/suffer for days, they shouldn’t be getting higher mobility.

If they can genuinely walk that far regularly and not as a once every so often they manage and then recover/suffer for days, they shouldn’t be getting higher mobility.

This is absolute nonsense. There is a 20 metre distance rule to obtain higher rate mobility, but the decision on whether you can exceed this distance depends on several factors, not just the inability to actually walk the distance because of mobility restrictions. In many cases claimants are awarded the higher rate despite being able to walk much further, because of the degree of difficulty they have.

Some of the factors are pain, breathlessness, the need for help from another person, how often you have to stop and rest and for how long, whether you have to take pain killers to complete the task, how often you can do it throughout the day (the standard to meet is as often as needed throughout the day so if you can only do it once, you can’t do it). Assessors also consider whether walking presents a danger to others because of the manner in which you move, and danger to yourself because walking may make your condition worse - medically speaking, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Also considered is the length of time it takes to complete the task (no more than twice that of someone without a disability) and they take into account the knock on effect where completing one of the descriptors assessed would affect the ability to do another. It isn’t, and never has been a simple case of ‘right you can walk 20 metres so you don’t qualify’.

I was a disability outreach worker for many years, and was involved with PIP and its predecessor, DLA. Where claimants are reported for suspected fraud benefit is stopped while the claim is investigated and in many cases the individual is interviewed under caution. This can cause financial hardship and is incredibly stressful, and in the vast majority of cases where l acted as a support worker benefit was eventually reinstated because the reports were either malicious or woefully misinformed and therefore baseless. I saw cases were claimants went into debt when benefit was stopped, and in some cases motability vehicles were removed so their means of travel to work was lost. Imagine this happening to you when you haven’t done anything wrong.

PIP claimants have to provide substantial evidence to support their claim. They also have to convince a healthcare professional that their level of impairment satisfies the strict descriptors applied. To obtain the higher rates of payment, there has to be substantial disability.

My advice to anyone considering ‘dobbing someone in’ is this. Unless you are living with the disabled person 24/7, are familiar with their condition and it’s effects, or are involved with their care, have seen the information they presented in their application/have the medical knowledge to understand it, and are privy to the assessment they had with the health professional assessing their claim, then you really don’t know anything. What goes on on the surface is rarely all there is, and you have no right to know anyone’s medical condition, in order to judge whether they deserve benefit just because you don’t think they look disabled enough.

Benefit entitlement isn’t assessed on a snapshot of a few minutes of someone’s life. It’s a complex process and simply judging whether someone is ‘worthy’ by eye is ignorant in the extreme. Unless there is actual evidence of fraudulent activity it’s really no-one elses’ business and reporting will likely cause unnecessary hardship for someone whose life is likely very difficult to start with.

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 09:27

Frequency · 07/01/2026 00:43

Medical evidence is also needed. It's not just a case of filling in a form. The fraud rate for PIP is 0% despite everyone and their dog knowing at least 11 people who rock climb for a hobby but get £3m a week in PIP payments and 7 free Teslas a year.

Well let’s be honest here, the DWP don’t have resources to investigate fraud, so the figure of 0% is somewhat irrelevant. Of course the fraud rate will be 0% if cases reported aren’t investigated….

Newyear26already · 07/01/2026 09:27

I know someone who can manage during the day in most situations but by evening they can hardly walk or get up the stairs to bed. Maybe your family member is like that. Or good days and bad days. And things they struggle with that you don’t see.

If they have been assessed I would trust the process. Anyway what do you think the DWP is going to do with your inside information? Stop the payments? Not likely is it?

When I applied for DLA for my child I was in the middle of a messy divorce at the time. My dc was classed as ‘severely disabled’ due to their difficulties and my exh complained to the DWP that he didn’t think the award was justified. Nothing happened as all the evidence was there including a report from the Gp and other doctors/consultants. I bet there are thousands of complaints from jealous exes and family members disputing all sorts and very few would get anywhere.

BunnyLake · 07/01/2026 09:27

Hammy19 · 07/01/2026 09:08

I'm usually the first to call out for reporting benefit fraud but the way you have described this person, sounds like me.

I have a physical health condition but to most people, I probably seem like I'm doing just fine. because I want to portray that image. I travel on foot, decorate etc etc but because I HAVE to

What people don't see, however, is me sobbing in pain, is me on the days when I don't leave the house because I literally cannot walk, is me frustrated because a task really needs doing and I am unable, me feeling like shit because I'm having to ask for yet another favour from my family, me not wanting to try dating again because I feel like such a burden on people

They don't see me sleeping on the sofa when I can barely walk because I'm scared that if there was an emergency in the night, I wouldn't be able to safely get out of the house

They don't see me depressed and hating myself, for something that is completely out of my control

They don't see the times when I'm struggling physically and my entire kitchen side is covered in washing up, when the bin is overflowing, when the floors are filthy, when there's no clean clothes for me to wear. They don't have to live in this mess and hate every second but be unable to do anything about it

They don't see how much I spend on medication, pain relief 'gimmicks' because I'm desperate, additional gas/electric for baths, extra laundry costs and sanitary products because some days I can wet myself multiple times as I can't physically move quick enough to get me to the toilet, on pre-prepared food because I can't manage to stand to cook, taxis when I have gone somewhere and can't propel myself back, additional treatments which probably sound like pampering but when you can't bend your ankles or cut your own nails because your toes are solidly curled under your feet then massage and pedicures become essential

I won't get a promotion at work because I can't be physically present in the office

I can empathise with some of this. I have slept on the sofa fully clothed instead of going to bed because I am in too much pain to get up and change, sometimes it can take an hour for me to get myself up from the sofa because it’s too painful. I am almost in tears at work sometimes because of the pain. I work PT and on my free days sometimes I can do nothing but lie on the sofa resting to enable me to work the following day. I was denied financial assistance because I didn’t fight my corner enough, but if the assessors felt what I feel they wouldn’t have deigned me fit for work (which confused me as claimants can still work a certain number of hours). I can still get out and about though (as long as I haven’t over exerted myself), so any net curtain twitching nosey neighbours would certainly be confused by me if I was unfortunate enough to have such neighbours, and be claiming.

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 09:32

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 09:27

Well let’s be honest here, the DWP don’t have resources to investigate fraud, so the figure of 0% is somewhat irrelevant. Of course the fraud rate will be 0% if cases reported aren’t investigated….

Well they definitely do investigate. You are clueless about what you’re talking about. You’ve written several ill informed posts on this thread and you sound incredibly bitter by insisting that PIP fraud is rife despite knowing nothing about how the system actually works. What are you gaining from this?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:32

Livelovebehappy · 07/01/2026 09:27

Well let’s be honest here, the DWP don’t have resources to investigate fraud, so the figure of 0% is somewhat irrelevant. Of course the fraud rate will be 0% if cases reported aren’t investigated….

The DWP actively investigate reports of PIP fraud. As a disability outreach worker l can tell you that l’ve attended more PIP fraud interviews than l ever did for DLA. I can also tell you that the in majority of cases benefit was reinstated because the reports were either malicious or baseless because the reporter wasn’t fully aware of the claimants’ condition. And the rate isn’t zero, at last count it was it’s something like 0.75% across all sickness and disability benefits, and that included DWP error as well as fraud.

oviraptor21 · 07/01/2026 09:33

ilovesooty · 07/01/2026 00:02

Thank you.

Usually the PIP award is time limited so at some point, yes, the claimant has to have a review or if past state pension age then advised to claim Attendance Allowance.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:36

Teanbiscuits33 · 07/01/2026 09:32

Well they definitely do investigate. You are clueless about what you’re talking about. You’ve written several ill informed posts on this thread and you sound incredibly bitter by insisting that PIP fraud is rife despite knowing nothing about how the system actually works. What are you gaining from this?

Agree. It’s absolute nonsense. I’ve more than twenty years working with disabled people as a support/outreach worker and have seen much hardship caused as a result of fraud investigation - much of which is deemed malicious or uninformed and benefit is reinstated, but not before it’s turned the claimants’ life into a nightmare. To suggest the DWP simply ignore fraud reports is utter bilge.

BunnyLake · 07/01/2026 09:37

lindyloo57 · 07/01/2026 09:14

I too know of a distant family member who do this , he says to doctors he is suffering with arthritis all over his body can hardly walk, what the doctors don't know is, every weekend his at the nightclubs dancing all night and getting drunk.

How are you privy to this information? Is someone reporting back to you his weekly activities?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:42

oviraptor21 · 07/01/2026 09:33

Usually the PIP award is time limited so at some point, yes, the claimant has to have a review or if past state pension age then advised to claim Attendance Allowance.

That’s actually not true. If the claimant is in receipt of PIP when they reach retirement age, they can continue to claim PIP past retirement age if they still satisfy eligibility at review. They can only continue claim for the condition declared in the original claim, so any increase or decrease in the award would depend solely on that condition, and they cannot be awarded any element of PIP to which they weren’t entitled before they reached retirement age. For example, if they weren’t claiming the mobility element before retirement age, they won’t be able to claim it after that.

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