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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob in family member - benefits

564 replies

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:16

I have a relative that does have health problems. They went to tribunal and were awarded higher rate PIP and have a motorbility car apparently supported by a Rottweiler of an advocate. I have no gripe that they deserve something - occasional falls, mild mental health problems, physical health problems that require monitoring and support and mild difficulties dressing themselves due to joint problems but don’t actually need to be helped. They do have a disability.

However, they are able to walk miles most of the time, decorate their home, complete domestic tasks and attend social activities on a very regular basis on foot. Morally torn. They probably will struggle without the money. Would DWP even do anything kind of thing. Either way I feel a bad person.

OP posts:
WingsTingle · 07/01/2026 09:45

Think this falls solidly into the category of ‘None of Your Business’…

SeekOIt · 07/01/2026 09:46

Report it if you feel it's a misuse of public funds and DWP will do their investigations and make their mind up.

Maddy70 · 07/01/2026 09:48

You are not an assessor, the professional does that , you can still get disability benefits and socialise!

HugglesAndSnuggles · 07/01/2026 09:49

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

Who are you to decide that?

Greenwitchart · 07/01/2026 09:49

It just sounds like you are jealous that they get support...which frankly is rather pathetic.

A tribunal of experts decided on their claim and they had to submit medical evidence to support their need for support. Yet you think you know better.

And this is a family member...

Frankly I think you need to take a good look at yourself here because your behaviour is rather shameful.

BillieWiper · 07/01/2026 09:49

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

Mind your own business. You sound really unpleasant. Why would your life be improved if you tried to grass her for 'fraud'?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:52

averychoc · 07/01/2026 09:10

You can’t self report you are struggling to dress to your GP and have it submitted as evidence without any reason why you would be struggling though. That’s utter nonsense. I could go and tell my GP right now I can’t dress myself and I can’t make a meal but him saying said does not make it evidence, unless I am dating I cannot do it because am there is a medical reason for that. Self reporting doesn’t make evidence the way people seem to think it does

All claims for PIP are ‘self reported’ though. That’s the nature of the application process. What matters is the evidence to support what you are reporting. Even without a formal diagnosis medical evidence can be available to support the physical effects. Where it isn’t, the assessors’ report acts as evidence after an assessment to determine whether you satisfy eligibility criteria.

Dontdisrepectme · 07/01/2026 09:54

I hate benefit cheats with a passion do it.

Rhubarbx1 · 07/01/2026 09:55

Dragonsfoot · 06/01/2026 23:19

Haven’t a clue. They do have health problems as I say, just the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

I don't think you're in the right person to make this judgement.

The people who hand out the benefits are and they clearly felt they were due the award. The payment is a set payment, its not a sliding scale of how disabled you are.

You must be a very ugly person on the inside to be jealous of someone who is disabled.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:55

BillieWiper · 07/01/2026 09:49

Mind your own business. You sound really unpleasant. Why would your life be improved if you tried to grass her for 'fraud'?

the award doesn’t feel proportionate to the problems they encounter.

This was the phrase from the OP that really got my back up. Who is OP to say what is ‘proportionate’ and what isn’t, based solely on what they see on the surface ?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 09:56

Rhubarbx1 · 07/01/2026 09:55

I don't think you're in the right person to make this judgement.

The people who hand out the benefits are and they clearly felt they were due the award. The payment is a set payment, its not a sliding scale of how disabled you are.

You must be a very ugly person on the inside to be jealous of someone who is disabled.

You’d be surprised how often jealousy comes into it, particularly where people have claimed the same benefit and been turned down.

StephensLass1977 · 07/01/2026 09:59

Is the family member as spritely as you seem to think? Just that, my partner has gone through the whole PIP tribunal process and it took a year of gathering Dr notes, providing scans, phone calls with his health care workers, you name it. He was in floods of tears by the end of the process, and he doesn't cry easily!

They are set up to disbelieve everyone, and it's then up to you to prove it. They absolutely raked him over the coals, yet his condition is well-documented, years worth of scans showing how bad it is, almost weekly GP and hospital appointments, and they STILL didn't believe him. I just fail to see how your cousin would slip through the net at tribunal stage.

I suggest to please leave them alone.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:00

Dontdisrepectme · 07/01/2026 09:54

I hate benefit cheats with a passion do it.

The problem with this is that there’s actually no evidence to suggest that this person is a cheat, beyond the OP’s smug assertion that their disability isn’t proportionate to the claim for benefit. Who is OP to judge and assess by eye, when a medically qualified assessor and DWP decision maker have examined actual evidence and judged them to be eligible ? It’s utter nonsense and it causes real world problems for genuinely disabled people because when suspected fraud is reported, the first thing that happens is that benefit is stopped while DWP investigate. Which can take weeks.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:03

SeekOIt · 07/01/2026 09:46

Report it if you feel it's a misuse of public funds and DWP will do their investigations and make their mind up.

And in the process the life of a disabled person will be turned upside down, when in all probability they have done nothing wrong. The assertion from OP and others here that it’s fine to report merely because someone doesn’t look disabled enough is utterly reprehensible.

x2boys · 07/01/2026 10:05

Allthecoloursoftherainbow4 · 07/01/2026 08:53

Lots of evidence that people use at tribunals is self reported. Eg they may have visited their doctor and self reported to the doctor that they are really struggling dressing and need help to do so every day. The doctor will then record that and it becomes a piece of 'evidence'

This is the biggest issue around the whole system. When the numbers of claimants are so vast you have to rely on people's self reported symptoms largely, and there's a lot of scope for people to exaggerate. Not lie necessarily, but claim that 6 days out of 7 they are struggling when maybe it's only 1-2 days out of 7.

The difference is a successful claim versus an unsuccessful one, as a lot of the criteria are around how frequently your disability is affecting you as this gives a sense of its impact on your life.

Look at all the threads on here where people are advised to describe their worst day. What if that 'worst day' only happens once every 6 months, is that still a fair claim?

People csn say what they want it doesn't mean they will get an award ,and they dont just go off "self reports " they want to see proper professional evidence.

x2boys · 07/01/2026 10:10

averychoc · 07/01/2026 09:10

You can’t self report you are struggling to dress to your GP and have it submitted as evidence without any reason why you would be struggling though. That’s utter nonsense. I could go and tell my GP right now I can’t dress myself and I can’t make a meal but him saying said does not make it evidence, unless I am dating I cannot do it because am there is a medical reason for that. Self reporting doesn’t make evidence the way people seem to think it does

Exactly ,and they want more than GP letters ,they woukd want OT and Physio reports etc.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:11

lindyloo57 · 07/01/2026 09:14

I too know of a distant family member who do this , he says to doctors he is suffering with arthritis all over his body can hardly walk, what the doctors don't know is, every weekend his at the nightclubs dancing all night and getting drunk.

So because he’s disabled he’s not allowed to socialise ? He would need evidence that his disability is as severe as he says to support a PIP claim, but even then for a successful claim, the effects of the disabling condition only have to be present 50% or more of the time to qualify for PIP. So if he feels able to socialise at weekends, and does what’s necessary to achieve that, such as taking pain meds or resting afterwards/addressing any after effects then he’s not doing anything wrong. Not sure what you’re suggesting here - is it that you don’t think he’s disabled at all, or not as disabled as he states ? Or just that your perception of disabled people means that if they can have fun, they must be cheating somehow ?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:13

x2boys · 07/01/2026 10:10

Exactly ,and they want more than GP letters ,they woukd want OT and Physio reports etc.

Agree. And if that wasn’t available it would likely trigger an assessment interview, which the DWP would rely on to make a decision.

motheronthedancefloor · 07/01/2026 10:13

I get full pip including the mobility rate, even though I can walk and talk.
I'm hearing impaired - I can't hear travel announcements (trains/planes/sat navs etc) and that is something that is classed as impacting your mobility as in your ability to travel places safely and independently.
Its not just about physical movement and your ability to walk. I have anxiety which makes certain situations overwhelming which again impacts my abilitly to independently travel, and I have a condition which causes me to faint.
Overall I have six hidden disabilities, not every disabilitly is visible.
You are very ignorant. Have you ever even seen a PIP application form?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 07/01/2026 10:16

Dontdisrepectme · 07/01/2026 09:54

I hate benefit cheats with a passion do it.

I take it you hate tax evaders, too.

CautiousLurker2 · 07/01/2026 10:18

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:13

Agree. And if that wasn’t available it would likely trigger an assessment interview, which the DWP would rely on to make a decision.

Agree - for my DD, there was a 27pp diagnostic report, a GP report (based on 18 years of care), a report from CAMHS, copies of admissions/discharge slips from hospital, a report from her CAMHS/Social services Youth Mentor, copies of emails between 6th form detailing her issues before she dropped out and their concerns. Soooo much paperwork, plus an interview with DWP in our home before the actual assessment with PIP person was carried out via zoom.

So much evidence, it was ridiculous. She has her award for 4 years, so we may have to go through the process again unless they are happy with ‘Little to no change’ on the update forms! Which I suspect won’t be enough…

sweetpickle2 · 07/01/2026 10:19

God forbid someone with mobility issues enjoy social occasions. Everyone knows if you claim benefits you have to stay indoors at all times, flogging yourself.

Shame on you OP.

x2boys · 07/01/2026 10:19

olympicsrock · 07/01/2026 07:08

OP - I think you have had a really hard time here. The challenge is that medical assessments are partly based on what someone tells a doctor . So we you say you cannot walk 20m and demonstrate that you “cannot” walk 20 m - the report says was unable to walk 20m.
It is possible for a dishonest person to have medical reports exaggerating a disability.

Personally I think you should share your concerns . The tax payer cannot manage the current levels of benefits and the truly deserving are still in need.

The assessors are not thick they dont just go off what somebody tells them or what they tell their GP ,if someone says they can't walk more than 20metres than they will have professional evidence of that from physios etc

Christmaseree · 07/01/2026 10:20

I wouldn’t report anyone to do with PIP as it’s impossible to know fully about their physical or mental health or the pain they may be in.

However I would and have reported other benefit fraud not that I’d does any good. I’ve reported the same person that I know lives with her partner but claims she is a lone parent once a year for the last four years but still they continue to get away with it.

Rosscameasdoody · 07/01/2026 10:21

motheronthedancefloor · 07/01/2026 10:13

I get full pip including the mobility rate, even though I can walk and talk.
I'm hearing impaired - I can't hear travel announcements (trains/planes/sat navs etc) and that is something that is classed as impacting your mobility as in your ability to travel places safely and independently.
Its not just about physical movement and your ability to walk. I have anxiety which makes certain situations overwhelming which again impacts my abilitly to independently travel, and I have a condition which causes me to faint.
Overall I have six hidden disabilities, not every disabilitly is visible.
You are very ignorant. Have you ever even seen a PIP application form?

In my experience people who post like the OP have never seen a PIP form, have no idea what’s involved in making a claim, and have little or no experience of actual disability. If they did, they would realise that how a disabled person presents on the surface is very often not a true indication of the extent of their difficulties, and in no way suggests that they are a benefit cheat.

This kind of ableism is what disabled people are up against every single day - from being challenged for using an accessible loo, to taking up a disabled seat on public transport, all the way to being a suspected benefit cheat. The sooner people accept that what you see is not always what you get and learn to mind their own business, the better.