To not understand how people have an evening.

[Littlebittiredoflife]

My children are 8 and 12 and we've not had an evening for basically that long. 8 year old is in bed by half 8 and older one up later but sorts themselves out. We're always washing up, prepping lunches, putting washing on, unloading dishwasher, until at least 10pm at night. I mean at least one of us is (obviously not me tonight as I'm writing this). I saw someone who said they watch TV together then one of them goes and reads and the other plays video games- are they getting in bed at midnight? Obviously when they were younger and needed more help with sleep and eating I accepted we wouldn't have much time to ourselves, either together or apart but we still don't seem to be getting any.

Also I'm aware we do have an evening but it seems to be spent on routine and never pleasure!

Ah ok
I tend to plough on and get everything done so that Im finished, bathed and ready for soaps at 7.30
If I sit down any earlier Im done for and wont get up again !

If you have a dishwasher that you're not putting things in because you don't want to ruin them, couldn't you use the leftover space for the recyclables?

I do understand what you're saying about glasses etc, but I've been dishwashing my glasses for 5 years and they're still pretty much gone. They cost me £10 for 6 I think, and I reckon I'll get another 5 years out of them yet.

From my perspective, if I save 10 years worth of work washing up, I'm happy to spend a tenner on glasses every decade. Frankly I'm pretty sure I break glasses faster than they go catastrophically cloudy in the dishwasher anyway.

I empty it when I'm waiting for the kettle to boil for my cuppa doesn't even take 5 mins.

This is me! have to get started on things as soon as I'm home.

@Littlebittiredoflife is your home cluttered which could be slowing you down.

I'm not on any of those for my own reasons. But love it when a nugget comes through here. Thanks anyway. I need anonymous.

Because you could go to bed too late and you were inefficient

Same, by the time I finish work, get dinner, homework done, lunches prepared & kitchen cleared it's bedtime🌙 I'm so exhausted im in bed by 9.30 mon-thurs. The weekend all routine goes out the window though, bliss.

I don't have a dishwasher so I hand wash everything (myself) for a family of 5 and it only takes me 20 minutes.

If you can't batch cook, just chop a load of veg and put into separate bags with whatever meat/sauce (anything really) and stick in a slow cooker in the morning. Airfryer also excellent for sides. Fajitas are one of the quickest meals you can make in a frying pan too.

Leave big jobs for a Saturday morning or afternoon depending on kids clubs so you can relax on a Sunday (I have a child in competitive sports so I understand it may not be feasible to chill out on a Sunday!)

Make sure 2 or 3 times a week you give yourself a cut off so you CAN spend some evenings. Say 8pm, then the next night you might be a bit later to catch up, then the next night back to the cut off. You can make 2 days worth of sandwiches in one go and it only takes an extra few minutes.

Not sure if any of this helps but here are some things we do:

• Washing - load put on in the morning before work on timer to finish when home. Hang out whilst dinner is cooking.
• Dishwasher and drainer emptied in the morning by dc (part of pocket money jobs) and breakfast things loaded in. Anything needing washing up left aside to evening dishes
• We do have dishes to wash up as well as dishwasher but that takes 30 mins absolute max in evening
• Cleaning mainly done at weekends. Hoovering floors in week would only be on a need basis
• Get kids to make their packed lunch the night before (if done before dinner, only one set of clearing up (pocket money job)
• Does 8 year old need supervising entire time they get ready for bed? - could be doing jobs upstairs whilst also supervising if needed (e.g putting clothes away, tidying)
• Cleaning out fire - does that need doing in week?
• Dinner eating doesn’t take that long here - anything you can do to speed that up?

Why not put it away in the morning?

Just in case you don't know, you don't have to give your real name or details to have an Instagram account, itheees no way for anyone to know anything about you. There's a whole load of useful stuff on there. You might even bu able to see it without making an account

I can empty the dishwasher in the time it takes to boil the kettle and we keep our plates and wine glasses in the next room!
So much faffing by OP/DH.
@Littlebittiredoflife if you are worried about spoiling your glasses and plates get cheap ones. We get Nutella glasses which are cheaper than buying a new glass. Break it, get a new one.
Plates are £1 white Home from Sainsbury's. We have a few left that are nice from our wedding china but they are also dishwasher safe and only adults get to eat off them after too many breakages.

3 children younger than yours-
we eat dinner 5.30 ish and all clean up as in everyone takes their plate and rinses it and puts it in the dishwasher then take turns on wiping table.
kids go up and watch something together or play together and me and dh put on our programmes and watch tv together or catch up so we always have an evening.

i get the kids to put on their own washing mid week then I do the rest over the weekend.
dishwasher always goes on at end of the night and emptied in the morning

You have a child younger than 8 doing their own laundry?
What are both your work hours?

Not sure why glasses would get ruined in the dishwasher?
If you use the correct products,I dont think that happens these days.like it did with the first dishwashers?
If the routine isn't working then surely you change it?
Get a cheap set of crockery for the week and use the handpainted plates at the weekend
Cheap glasses not your finest crystal ones
Quick one pan meals not multiples and faffy recipes
Hoover at the weekend
Laundry at the weekend
Don't stack the drainer all hell would break lose here, I hate it
Meals use a timer then done
Have a set routine with a " I'm done" time

The chatting after 9pm is not just a ND thing! I have NT teens and it's definitely a teenager habit - I've ended up having to make sure I'm all done for the evening because I wanted to be available for that time. It's frustrating sometimes but I try to remember I'm building the connection with my teens.

Start doing 10/15 minute meals, and what bags are you unpacking? And why do 'recyclables' take up so much time and effort

Diswashers have a rack for glasses so agree weird not to use it

I rinse as I'm waiting for the water to get hot ...

OP - can I suggest you meal plan so that you're not doing something in the oven when you get in at 6.15? You said with preheating and cooking it was 45 mins then you don't eat until 7.15. With kids who are tired (I assume in after school club?) that seems crazy.

You could plan, for example, bolognaise - if you've made it at the weekend, it would be 15 mins tops from getting in - less if you used fresh pasta.

Depending on my meal plans for the week I sometimes spend an hour-90 mins at the weekend cooking for my office days, ie a curry that I can heat up and cook rice as soon as I get in - 20 mins, during which time I make packed lunches, empty/load dishwasher, and start a bowl of washing up for the odd bits that don't go in the dishwasher.

Why are people rinsing before the dishwasher ? There's no need , detergent works better without doing it as it needs something to cling to. This is real old skool from when detergents and dishwashers weren't as advanced.

I can’t believe people rinse before using the dishwasher. Isn’t the detergent supposed to work with the food remains? I only roughly scrape.
I put everything in the dishwasher, pots pans, plates, chopping boards, wooden spoons, glasses etc. I only use a quick hour long cycle and they all come out fine. It is a fairly new Bosch dishwasher and I have to do a machine care cycle about every couple of weeks but why make life hard for yourself?
I do have to do a couple of loads a day because the pots and pans take up room but so be it. I am another one that hates dishes on the draining board.

I don’t rinse out my recycling because I can’t be fucked to do do.

I don't get it. My dishwasher is 14 years old, we have never rinsed and it's absolutely fine. We keep it closed when there are dirty dishes in there so it's not like it smells!

Agreed! Teens have a different body clock and mine is usually reluctant to go to bed so will always want to chat late in the evening. It’s more of a problem for us though due to lots of issues with anxiety and low mood.

It’s because bits of food and liquid can clog up and shut down the sorting machines. Rinsing under the tap is okay, you don’t need to sanitise them.